Akatsuki Days
by aapierce
Summary: This is another of many stories about the Akatsuki crossing over into our world. I'm not really sure how else to sum this up, except to say that humor, drama and some action lay in wait of your reading eyes. Review, review, review!
1. Chapter 1

**Good day to you all. Thank you for showing interest in our story. This story was started by Drake S. Hellion but as he has become otherwise engaged, he has given me the honor of uploading this story and continuing the writing process. The first 5 chapters are writing by Drake and from chapter 6 on, I have taken over.**

**Disclaimer: Neither Drake nor I own any Naruto characters. We own Joshua and Arlene and future characters owned by us will be noted.**

**Enjoy! :)**

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><p>Joshua watched as Itachi dodged to the left with grace and speed, his 360 controller gripped in his hand as he made the Akatsuki weave and lift into the air to dodge the incoming explosive birds coming at him.<p>

"Stop dodging!" said Arlene from his right, her own controller in her hand as she continued to make Deidara toss explosives, keeping Itachi at a distance.

Joshua felt his lips quirk upwards before he could control his mouth. "Alright."

Arlene didn't like that tone, she knew Josh was better then her and up in their battle she knew he had been taking it easy. But when he said "Alright" she knew he was letting the chains go.

Itachi glowed blue with power, then streaked forward, disregarding the explosive birds in his path as he closed the distance between him and Deidara, his leg raised for a kick.

The screen went black and the power died in the house due to the raging storm outside, which had trapped Arlene there in the first place.

Joshua blinked, then said. "Bullshit!"

Arlene laughed and patted her friend's shoulder. "There there," she said.

She got a response as a displeased grumble and a small pouting glare. Joshua stood from his chair, stretched his arms out and yawned loudly, eyes catching the time. _Ten-forty, huh? Well, that killed less time then I thought… _he stopped his thoughts and turned to his door.

He swore he heard something.

"Did you hear something?" he asked, eyes narrowing as he moved to the door that lead out into the hallway of his home. His hand gripped the knob while the other gripped the small katana he kept in reach for intruders.

"What? No…" Arlene paused to listen. "Nothing, you sure you're not just hearing things?"

Joshua considered it, then let the knob go. "Maybe."

Then there was the sound of glass breaking, from the sound it was coming from the kitchen. The knob turned and Joshua stepped into the hall, silent as a ghost as he peered into the shadowed hall that lead into the kitchen, everything was pitch black.

Nonetheless he turned to Arlene, placed a finger to his lips in a silent "shhh" before he turned back to the hall, raising the katana. _What if they have guns?_ A part of his mind whispered to him, he inwardly sighed. He switched the katana in his hand so he was holding it in a throwing position, poised and ready to be tossed.

He moved with practiced caution into the hall, then into the kitchen area and looked around. It was still pitch black, the moon was not offering light, the street lights were all dead. All was silent.

He narrowed his eyes and they began to adjust to the dark. Soon the entirety of the kitchen was his to see. He saw one figure kneeling on the floor, hunched over examining a plate that had fallen from the countertop by the sink.

He poised the knife, then said. "You there, what are you doing?"

The figure turned to him, then it was there was light in the area.

It was from the figure's glowing red eyes, they were narrowed and glaring straight at Joshua, who felt fear take his body. But just as quickly he crushed it down and tossed the knife. Then blanched when the knife clattered to the floor as the figure slapped it away.

Then there was an arm around his neck, another gripping his wrist and twisting his arm around and up to the middle of his back, a soft, warm breath tickling the back of his neck, making his hairs stand on end.

His fear returned, he crushed it back again and glared defiantly. "You think just cause I am alone, I can't take you both?" inside he was freaking out, trying to find a way out of this situation, watching the red eyed figure rise and approach he added. "Careful, get too close and I bite."

He forced a smirk.

The red eyes focused on him, into his own. And finally, there was the barest hint of silence while neither of the two or Joshua spoke.

"Who are you?"

Joshua blinked, he knew that voice, he knew it well. But, a rational part of his mind screamed impossible and insane, but he never followed that part of his mind in these moments. "Itachi…Uchiha.." he breathed.

There was the slightest tightening of the arm around his neck and the voice behind him chuckled. "Eh, he has your name," the voice chortled more.

"Deidara…" Joshua added, the voice he also knew, he tried to turn his head.

There was a sharp pain in his gut when he realized Itachi had punched him, causing Joshua to grunt and grit his teeth.

"How do you know us?" Itachi spoke softly, but his tone turned deadly.

"I know your voices anywhere, I am… a fan." Joshua replied, truthfully. He could not lie to Itachi and get away with it.

"Fan, eh? What do ya know about me?" Deidara said into Joshua's ear, causing the young man to stiffen slightly.

"You're a bomber, easily angered to the point of suicide… uh, you love and defend your definition of Art to the point others find it obsessive."

The Uchiha released a soft sound of amusement.

Deidara scoffed. "It's not obsessive!" he tightened his grip on his captive's neck, causing a soft gag of pain. "And stop smirking, Uchiha, just cause your eyes are blind to my beautiful art!"

Joshua considered maybe he was just dreaming and he would wake up when Itachi killed him, but that idea went out the window when there was the softest of creaks behind them. He closed his eyes and knew Arlene had tried to find out why he was taking so long or he was alright.

"I have her," Itachi said and disappeared from view.

Arlene was about to scream when there was a hand over her mouth and the cold touch of steel pressing against her neck at the pulse, the very soft indication of the blade digging into her skin told her the man holding her meant business… and that his knife was very sharp.

Her words died in her throat and she closed her eyes to try and calm herself, they hadn't killed Joshua. So they might not be violent. _There's a knife to your neck…_ she reminded herself blandly.

"Be silent, and you will not be harmed, understood?" A smooth voice asked into her ear.

Arlene blinked and nodded as much as she could in the grip of the man who sounded a lot like a certain anime character she had listened to not fifteen minutes ago when she was playing a video game.

Lightning sparked outside, illuminating the kitchen for a brief flash of blue.

She saw a glimpse of blonde hair and black cloak with red clouds, Joshua's neck being held and him very much alive as he seemed to be in his "I'm annoyed but can't say anything" expression and mood. He saw her, then mouthed something she didn't catch before the room was dark again.

And again all was silent.

"…I'm hungry, hmm…" Deidara stated from the darkness.

"You know what a fridge is?" Joshua asked, a little too snarkily and earned a small bite on the side of the neck from Deidara's hand mouth. "Ow! I was serious, but I guess so, it's there…" he raised his arm and pointed to the fridge. "And please, let me go. I couldn't hurt you if I tried."

The blonde considered it and Joshua was free. He moved to the fridge, opened it and observed the various food inside, finally he grabbed the juice jug and chugged it down before grabbing some oranges and beginning to eat them as well.

Joshua narrowed his eyes and mumbled. "No thanks needed…"

Arlene soon felt the kunai leave her neck and her mouth free from the grip of Uchiha Itachi. "So… you two aren't going to kill us?" she asked, cautiously curious.

Itachi walked over to the fridge, leaned over and into it then withdrew a milk carton and drank at his leisure. They really enjoyed modern food it seemed…

"We can kill you, if you two like, hmm…" Deidara smirked in the dark… made funny by the piece of orange handing at the corner of his lips.

Joshua sent a glare to Arlene, this wasn't some stupid fan fiction where the Akatsuki were uber nice to people just because they cooperated! This was, in some sick sense of humor, reality!

Before he could say anything however, Itachi spoke. "You will not inform anyone of our presence here, if you do, I will kill you," Joshua and Arlene could just feel the threat come naturally off his tongue. "And do not leave without my specific permission." he added, moving to the couch and plopping down on it. "And the final rule, if we ask you to do something, you must do it."

Joshua blinked. "…Within reason?"

"Of course," Itachi nodded. "Why?"

"Deidara was eyeing my friend's chest… I was just a bit worried when you meant anything you meant… well, anything…" Joshua replied, cracking his neck.

"He was what?" Arlene glared at the blonde, who shrugged.

"I was staring at the words on your shirt… I can't read them…" He pouted, blue eye glinting in the darkness when more lightning shot down from the sky.

Joshua and Arlene both agreed that a pouting Deidara was creepy… just creepy.

Itachi was asleep and silence conquered the kitchen.

After getting leave from Deidara, Joshua and Arlene returned to Joshua's room and sat down on the bed, both silent before he broke the silence. "We're prisoners in my house… by two people who shouldn't be here except in the game…" Joshua paused. "Did you slip something in my pepsi?"

"Did you slip something in mine?"

"Laxative, but I didn't know that caused hallucinations," Joshua replied with a small grin, then it disappeared and he said in all seriousness. "But really, what are we going to do? I wasn't exactly planning to have Anime characters staying here while my parents are gone."

He was thankful his mother had a two week appointment out of town, so they had time to figure something out. But it still worried him they would burn the phone when it rang… thankfully his mom always called his cellphone.

There was another crash and Joshua winced. "…I don't like this."

"I think it's cool!"

"You would…"


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Neither Drake nor I own any Naruto characters. We own Joshua and Arlene and future characters owned by us will be noted.**

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><p>Joshua stared at the ceiling of his home, briefly wondering if Arlene was asleep. She had been as quiet as him since they had decided to fall asleep at roughly two in the morning after discussing the events that had taken place.<p>

"Arlene, you asleep?" he ventured.

"Nope, you?"

Joshua narrowed his eyes in annoyance. "Yes, I'm just mumbling in my sleep and happen to be answering your replies…"

"Oh. Kay."

Joshua groaned softly and then asked the question on his mind. "You think we're somehow sharing the same dream? Like… fell asleep and are somehow linked?"

There was a pause and he knew Arlene was thinking the idea over. "No, I don't think so, that knife felt real… really real."

"And Itachi's punch…" Joshua rubbed his stomach, wincing when he felt the bruise. "So… they're real, how?"

"No idea… lets check my dimension jumping book! Oh wait, there's no such thing… I should write it."

Joshua nearly face palmed. "Sure.. .good luck with that." he paused, listening. "they've been quiet, think they're gone?"

"Don't know, wanna go check?"

"Hell to the no!" Joshua said, he might have admired Itachi to the point of being a fanboy, but he wasn't about to approach the Uchiha at this time. "You check…"

There was a subtle shift in the house and the floor creaked, both pairs of eyes travelled to the door and waited for it to open to reveal one of the two ninja who were in the house. The knob turned and the door opened…

No one entered.

"Well that's creepy-"

A monster roared and entered, it's claws tearing into a screaming Arlene.

Joshua woke up and said. "Holy shit on a hot summer day in November!" he glanced around frantically, gripped the book at his bedside and held it at the throwing ready.

Arlene was soundly asleep on the floor on her mattress, not eviscerated. He was alive and well, and the house was still standing. _But, was it a dream? _He thought. Standing he moved over Arlene and opened the door to the hall, poking his head out he observed it.

It seemed normal.

"Morning."

Joshua leapt back, falling onto the floor with a crash and his head hitting Arlene's ankle, causing him to yelp in pain and rub the back of his head while waking the sleeping woman up in the process.

"Ow! The hell?" Arlene cried, sitting up and beating Joshua with a pillow.

Itachi stood at the doorframe, his hair was wet and small droplets of water around his face and neck indicated he had taken a shower, his cloak was on as were everything beneath it, or Joshua assumed, and he watched the display with mild amusement.

When Arlene noticed the older Uchiha, she yawned and said. "Morning…" though it was a grumpy tone.

Joshua grunted, sitting up and saying. "So you are here." to Itachi.

Itachi nodded, blood red Sharingan glinting in the morning light and Joshua had to look away to not get mesmerized by the beautifully dangerous eyes he knew could summon black flames, deadly illusions or Susanooo.

Itachi noticed this however and asked. "You fear my eyes?"

"I know what they're capable of," Joshua stated, standing and dusting himself off. "I'm taking a shower, if that is fine with you?"

Itachi nodded. "I do not care, however, your supplies are running low, you and Arlene must go replenish them, me and Deidara will accompany you both so that you do not try anything."

Arlene pouted. "I call Deidara to accompany me!"

Joshua rolled his eyes. "Alright then, well, guess your watching me then," he said to the Uchiha before grabbing some spare clothes, then stepping into the washroom to shower. Soon the sounds of running water were heard.

Arlene and Itachi stayed in the same room, both silent. Until Arlene broke it. "Sooo… what did you and Deidara talk about last night?"

"How to effectively kill you should we need to," was the blunt reply.

Arlene laughed nervously, wishing she hadn't asked. "Oh… well, lets hope there's no need in the future…" she said, then quickly changed topics. "Why are we out of food so quickly?"

"Me and Deidara were hungry."

Arlene just stared. "The fridge was half full."

"Now it is empty," Itachi said simply. "You and Joshua are going to change that."

"How do you know our names?"

Itachi tilted his head. "I was listening in on you two last night."

"…creeper."

Before Itachi could inquire what a 'creeper' was there was a blonde behind him. Deidara grinned from ear to ear when he withdrew a spatula in one hand and a large frying pan in the other. "I found eggs! girl! Make us eggs!" he commanded, mouths dripping with drool at the prospect of eggs.

Arlene huffed. "You can ask nicely, you know?" she retorted, glaring at the blonde.

"I could, but then my little friend would be angry!" Deidara grinned maliciously as a small clay spider climbed up Arlene's shoulder and presented itself.

"I bet it's small," Arlene snickered.

The blonde narrowed his visible eye and stepped forward, "Say that again, you little-"

"Deidara, enough…" Itachi said, putting his hand up. "She is going to make us breakfast, now, go ready the eggs…" he said to Arlene, Sharingan swirling. She gulped, stood and saluted then went to work in the kitchen.

All the while no one noticed Joshua singing in the shower.

When Arlene finished the eggs for the two S-ranked missing nin she set two plates down at the table in front of both, feeling hungry herself she decided to makes some for herself, and Joshua if he wanted any when he got out.

The three ate in silence.

Deidara broke it this time with a small burp. "That was very good… hmm," he grinned at Arlene. "Better then anything I have tasted in a long while."

"Aa," Itachi agreed.

"Thank you," Arlene smiled, glad they appreciated her cooking as she dug into her own eggs.

Soon the washroom door opened and Joshua's voice came down the hall. "I'm don- hey, I smell eggs…" there was a pause. "Can I have eggs?"

Arlene chuckled. "No! too late!"

"Aww! Please!" Joshua said, walking into the kitchen and pouting at her. "Pleeeeeease?"

"Nope."

"Your mean."

"I know."

Deidara and Itachi stared at the conversation a moment before the Uchiha cleared his throat, a signal they pay attention to him. They did, "Now, Arlene, clean yourself, Joshua, be ready to leave when she is done, or supplies need to be refilled."

Once all was said and done, Joshua having ate a single apple and Arlene having taken her shower, they both stopped and stared at each other when the realised a simple fact.

They had to take these two out into the world…

"Oh shit…"

"I know…"

"There there?"

"…Not this time…"


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Neither Drake nor I own any Naruto characters. We own Joshua and Arlene and future characters owned by us will be noted.**

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><p>Joshua and Arlene were both dressing for the clouded weather, it was a chilly wind and even in the scorching summer there were days where jackets were required to avoid a sick day and this was one of those days.<p>

But now, they were wishing it wasn't, because they were definitely going to get looks when they noticed Itachi and Deidara buttoning up their Akatsuki cloaks, they would be noticed… in milliseconds…

Joshua opened his mouth to protest, no words came out and he gaped like a fish.

Arlene chuckled nervously. "It could be worse?"

The sky thundered and then rain poured down onto the ground. Joshua groaned and stared at the rain, he would have loved it any other day, but a glance back at the Akatsuki made him wince.

They had dawned their straw hats.

Joshua face palmed and gave Arlene an annoyed, disbelieving glare.

"What?" She said sheepishly. "I didn't think it would happen…"

"It did…" Joshua looked at the Akatsuki, who were staring back at them expectantly. "Oh God did it ever happen…" and with those words of misery the four set out into the world, Joshua donning his hood and getting into Arlene's vehicle, Deidara and Itachi taking the back.

He never felt so exposed in his life.

As they drove, there wasn't much people walking or traffic that morning, for which he was thankful. Glancing at Arlene he saw her happily driving towards the store, the two Akatsuki were taking in the sights, their expressions curious. Like lost puppies with the ability to level the entire town if they so wished…

"What country is this?" Itachi asked finally.

"Uh, well, we're not in any of the elemental countries, this is Canada, a small town in the province of Manitoba…" Joshua explained, feeling nervous when Itachi glared at him. "I'm serious! Look, I'm not gonna lie to someone who can turn me into mush with a blink!"

Itachi continued to glare, Deidara however spoke next. "Soooo, how far are we from the elemental countries?"

Arlene replied to the blonde, since Joshua was trapped in a trance by Itachi's Sharingan and drooling. "Uh, very far… those things technically don't exist here… neither do you two."

A silence ruled the vehicle.

"Eh, Uchiha, can I kill her?" Deidara asked, giving the Uchiha a clearly pleading look. Joshua's heart leapt in his chest and he quickly reached for the doorknob, if he jumped he could roll and survive a few more precious seconds-

"No… what they say intrigues me, if they are not lying, we will need them for information." Itachi replied and instantly, Joshua wished he could hug the Uchiha and thank him for sparing him. "And we need someone who can cook and do the meaningless tasks."

Joshua almost groaned, almost.

When they reached the main town mall, there was quite a few people despite the bad weather and Joshua did groan, but Arlene turned to the Akatsuki pair and said. "Stay here, we will be right back."

"No, we will all go," Itachi said with a tone that left no room for argument.

"But… they way you two are dressed, you'll be spotted!" Joshua retorted. "Unless…"

"Unless what?"

Joshua smiled creepily. "Cosplayers…"

Arlene stared… and stared, and stared.

"It will work! We just pass them off as cosplayers, really, REALLY good cosplayers…" he glanced back at the pair of confused eyes. "Uh, Deidara, your cover name is Dan, Itachi, you are Alex, got it?" Joshua asked.

Deidara blinked. "But, if we aren't supposed to exist, how come we can't be seen?"

"Because here, you two are only characters in a cartoon, look, I will explain later! Just… follow my lead," Joshua opened the door, stepped out of the vehicle with Arlene and after a few calming breaths they strolled to the front entrance with nervous barely controlled strides.

Except Itachi and Deidara who walked like they owned the whole damn world.

"Who are those losers?" "What the hell?" "They look weird…" "What's with the hats?" "I swear I know them…"

Joshua tried to ignore the whispers and words that the two Akatsuki attracted as they walked into the building, his hood dripping from the water as he lowered it, glancing to Arlene he laughed when he saw her hair soaked. "Took a quick shower?" he teased.

Arlene glared at him, but said nothing and instead they glanced back to the two Akatsuki, who thankfully kept their hats on and were following behind them closely, Arlene and Joshua quickly constructed a list of things to buy between the two of them and they split up once inside the main store.

Joshua moved over to the isles, found two cases of 7Up and quickly looked back at Itachi, who was observing the various styles of drinks.

"What are these?"

"Uh, drinks, different flavors, orange, grape and cherry…" Joshua explained as he picked out some bags of chips for Arlene, briefly considering taking some grapes…

"And these?" Itachi held up a box of tampons.

"…What are those even doing in this section?" Joshua blinked.

Arlene was in the cold section, grabbing milk and ice cream as was on her list… while trying to not strangle the blonde following her. "What's that?" he asked behind her.

Arlene turned and saw Deidara holding up a Pizza. "Pizza! Sweet, bring that!"

He blinked, then shrugged and tossed her the pizza, she caught it and put in the cart she was moving along.

"What's this?"

She sighed and turned to him. "That's a turkey."

"This?"

She felt her eye twitch. "Chicken…"

"What about…" he rummaged through the freezer. "This?" he pulled out a box.

"Pizza pops…"

"This?"

"…" Arlene turned. "I'm going now, come on…" she moved along and Deidara dropped the watermelon back into the freezer, why it was there? No one would know. _I'm sure Joshua doesn't have to put up with this crap… _she thought grumpily.

"What is-"

"That's a pencil…" Joshua said, not even looking at the Uchiha as he scanned the shelves for a specific brand of pencil he always used. "Hmm… where in the Mangekyou is it?"

"Mommy! A ninja!" A small, twelve year old boy with a toy kunai said as he rushed Itachi, waving it around.

Joshua wanted to yell for the kid to stop, but no sound came out and instead he watched Itachi turn, raise a brow and finally…

"Tsukiyomi…"

The kid froze for the briefest of seconds… then screamed and fell over, curling up into a sobbing ball of stupid. Itachi nodded, turned and ignored how people looked between him and the kid, who's mother was screaming at Itachi.

Joshua dutifully walked away whistling an inconspicuous tune_. I bet Arlene doesn't have to put up with this crap… _he thought just before security descended on him with batons.

Arlene huffed as she and Joshua were in the front seat again, Joshua sporting a bruise on his temple and a glare to match Itachi's, who was looking miffed, but otherwise uncaring to the fact he had caused quite the ruckus.

"You got us kicked out!" Joshua said, turning to Itachi. "I'm just glad they let us buy the stuff before throwing us out!" he growled and huffed angrily.

"Had you informed me the child was no threat, I would not have acted as such."

"You used Tsukiyomi! That's overkill! No matter how much of a threat that kid was or was not!" Joshua replied, then sighed. "I want slush…"

"Slush?" Itachi and Deidara inquired.

Joshua turned to them. "The drink of Gods…" he said simply. "I… just… ugh!" he buried his face in his palm.

Arlene glanced at him, reached over and tapped his shoulder twice. "There there…"


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Neither Drake nor I own any Naruto characters. We own Joshua and Arlene and future characters owned by us will be noted.**

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><p>Arlene was over the stove, cooking bacon and eggs for the two Akatsuki, Joshua however had been up since six last night playing video games and Arlene's dad didn't really care how long she was out so long as she checked in to tell him she was alive.<p>

And so she hummed softly to herself; watching the bacon sizzle and feel her own stomach churn with hunger at the sight. She turned to look at the Akatsuki and smiled, holding back a laugh.

Deidara was sword fighting with the spoon and fork in each hand, Itachi was drinking his morning coffee idly and the two ignored each other aside from the occasional question and answer.

"Neh, the food almost done, Arlene?" Deidara asked when his stomach grumbled. "I am hungry."

"I think your stomach has stated this fact," Itachi smirked.

Arlene giggled, turned back to the stove and then finished then eggs and bacon, laying them on plates she turned around, handed them out and took a seat. She had learned that they did not mind her presence when at the table.

And she liked that. "So, what is working for Akatsuki like?" she asked as she stuffed a piece of bacon in her mouth and chewed.

Itachi looked thoughtful while Deidara seemed to be too into his food notice she even asked the question.

"It is tough, demanding work that requires constant travel from one country to another, but it pays well," Itachi replied finally. "Some of the members are insufferable, but that is why we travel in pairs of two, never more…"

Deidara finished scarfing down his bacon and gave Arlene a weird look. "Why do you know about Akatsuki?"

"Well, me and Joshua know your names, I'm pretty sure it means we know who you work for…" she shrugged lightly. "Don't worry, again… we won't tell anyone, or can… we'd seem crazy."

In moments there was a shuffling down the hall and Joshua walked down from his room, giving a sleepy greeting to the three he moved to the fridge, opened it and pulled out a water bottle, chugged it down and shuffled back into the hallway.

Arlene blinked. "Well… weird."

"Indeed," Itachi said simply, finishing his eggs and wiping his hands with a napkin. "He was still awake at five this morning," he added as an afterthought.

"He was?"

The Mangekyou wielder nodded. "Yes. You should advise him against it, it is not healthy if he cannot sleep properly after a night of alertness."

Arlene sighed and nodded. "I think I will," tossing her plate in the sink she turned and marched towards Joshua's room, opening the door she peaked it. Then winced when she saw Joshua sitting at his computer screen and typing away at something.

"Uh, Josh?"

The man jumped, rolled around on his chair and blinked lazily at her. "Yeah?" the pits under his eyes, the sluggish movements… he was tired alright.

"You should sleep more," Arlene said bluntly, stepping into the room and crossing her arms.

"Can't, working on something," Joshua said.

"What?"

"I've been trying to find a logical solution that brought our guests here," He replied, turning back to face his computer. "I haven't slept much, but I can't seem to figure out anything that is plausible… it's like a bad fan fiction!"

Arlene blinked. "Your right…"

And silence reigned supreme for several seconds.

"Wanna play Xbox?"

"Sure."

As Joshua set up the 360 for their Naruto Ultimate Ninja Storm 2 match, Arlene was busying herself with his computer by surfing the web and watching funny youtube videos. She giggled when she saw one of the Akatsuki dancing, well, cosplayers of the Akatsuki dancing.

"Done, lets do this!" Joshua said, grinning slightly as he grabbed his controller. Arlene took hers and the game started, they went to choose their characters…

"What the hell! I can't choose Itachi!" Joshua sputtered angrily at the loss of his favorite character.

Arlene laughed, then went to choose Deidara, only to see he was off the list as well. "Oh come on!"

Joshua poked her side, then said. "Heh, toe on the other hand?"

"…You mean shoe on the other foot?"

"Whatever! I'm feeling…" Joshua scrolled through the characters. "Hmm, Madara this time around."

"You mean Tobi?"

"No, Madara sounds more badass then Tobi…" Joshua retorted, selecting the orange masked Sharingan user.

Arlene thought, and thought, then she said. "The creepy one!" she clicked on Sasori.

"Orochimaru?"

"No, he's the creepiest, Sasori is creepy," She explained matter-of-factly, then they saw the loading screen and the match start…

The TV and box died.

Joshua paled, Arlene twitched. They were silent.

"You think…" Arlene began, turning her head to the door as if expecting the apocalypse.

"No, they can't…" Joshua said, standing and moving to the door, opening it to see the figure of Itachi in his way, standing there. Eye to eye… Joshua looked away and stepped back. "Uh, hey, Itachi…" he greeted, sheepishly smiling. "Ya need something?"

The Sharingan user stood there, staring back at Joshua a few moments before saying. "What were you and Arlene playing?"

Joshua inwardly panicked and tried to think of something to say without lying.

"Sempai!" was a loud, joyful shout from behind Itachi.

"The fuck!" Deidara's voice came next, followed by a thud and crash of a cup hitting the floor, making Joshua wince. "Tobi! Get off of me!"

Arlene giggled behind Joshua. "Heh, Tobi is on Deidara…"

Joshua turned to her. "This is no time for your perverted jokes!"

"Indeed…" Itachi said offhandedly, turning to look down the hall. "I will return shortly," he turned and walked down the hall towards the sounds of struggle… much to Arlene's giggling that it was sure a "struggle".

"You think they'll kill us when Itachi tells them they're video game characters?" Joshua asked.

"No, but I think they'll you when they find out what I said about Tobi and Deidara," Arlene laughed.

"…Why me?" he asked, curious and slightly insulted.

"Because you can't cook," she replied simply.

Joshua was silent, pouting he moved over to the door and peaked out down the Hall, sure enough. Itachi was standing off to the side, leaning back against the wall, Then a streak of orange and black rushed by the hall, a streak of blonde and black followed after it.

Yep, Tobi was in the house.

"Tobi is in the house…" Joshua confirmed. "Guess that means Sasori the creepy is here too…" he added, shaking his head.

"I know… boy do I know." Arlene said.

Joshua turned, then stepped back and raised his hands. "Don't kill me! Or her!"

Sasori stood behind Arlene, his red hair just visible over Arlene's own head, his eye peaking out and a blade dripping with poison at her neck. "How do you know me?" he asked smoothly.

Joshua was about to open his mouth when another spoke behind him.

"Danna?" It was Deidara, he was staring at Sasori as if seeing a ghost, turning to look Joshua saw Deidara's single visible eye was flashing with awe, surprise and anger. "You're dead…" he added.

Sasori didn't react for a moment, before finally letting Arlene go and saying. "I know… but why am I here? Unless this is some twisted form of an afterlife…" he said boredly scanning Joshua and Arlene.

Deidara smirked, then flashed a clay bird. "Your eternal art lost to a pink haired girl and old woman… you see the truth of my art, Danna?" he grinned now.

Sasori's eyes narrowed and the puppet master crouched. "I am going to love this," his arms ejected two blades… also dripping in poison.

Joshua shuffled closer to Arlene and said. "I think they're happy to see each other… in some sick twisted way…"

"Make up fight?" Arlene giggled again, trying to stifle them with a hand.

"What's with you and yaoi today?" Joshua hissed back.

"What? I'm a girl, I can get away with it and not seem weird!"

"…So, Ino and Sakura… some pretty hot stuff ther-"

"Shut up."

"Hey, I'm a guy, I can ge-" Joshua stopped mid sentence and just took notice that Deidara and Sasori were staring at them. "Uh… too loud?"

"what's yaoi, hmm?" Deidara asked, half curious, half angry.

"…" Joshua shut up,


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Neither Drake nor I own any Naruto characters. We own Joshua and Arlene and future characters owned by us will be noted.**

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><p>Joshua thankfully was saved from the explanation, and likely death following that, by the yell of. "Sempai!" before Deidara was on the floor, waist clutched by the orange mask wearing Tobi, pounding on the man's head Deidara growled and swore.<p>

"Let go of me, Tobi!" The blonde yelled, still pounding Tobi's head.

The orange masked man continued to clutch Deidara's waist while giggling madly. "Tobi missed Sempai!" the man cheered.

Joshua was at a loss, but he took the time out of his day to shuffle over to the door, past Itachi and down the hall to hide in his parent's closet.

Arlene however stared at Tobi, an uncontrollable urge sparked inside her as she watched Deidara punch Tobi, when the hyper Akatsuki finally let go and stood she rushed forward quickly, spread her arms and tackled the Akatsuki member, wrapping her arms around his neck and yelling. "Tobi!"

Joshua heard the yell, waited for the inevitable slaughter that Arlene had triggered.

The three other Akatsuki members watched as Tobi raised his arms and…

Hugged her back!

"Yay! Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi cheered, joyfully hugging Arlene as they both held the other. "I like hugs!"

"Me too!" Arlene squealed.

The delightfulness was almost suffocating…

"I will find Joshua…" Itachi said, stepping out of the room with an ounce of haste.

Deidara elbowed Sasori. "I am going to get some food… want some?"

The redhead gave Deidara a bland look. "I'm a puppet…"

"That a no?"

"…Yes, Deidara, it's a no."

"Kay!" Deidara quickly exited the room, closing the door behind him.

So, Sasori was left with a hugging Arlene and Tobi and a room quickly flooding with a horrid amount of delightfulness and love. It made him utterly sick and so he turned and was about to step out when Tobi's voice carried over.

"Sempai Sasori needs hugs!"

"I agree!" Arlene cheered, high off the delightfulness.

They tackled the redhead and huggled him tightly, much to the poison master's horror. "Off…" he said, feeling oddly sick with the gesture and the sheer delightfulness and love that accompanied it.

Joshua, Itachi and Deidara were seated in the living room, watching TV and commenting on the various channels they saw as they watched Deidara channel surfed with the remote. They had seen the news, more horrible stuff in the world, go figure? Discovery was being weird with dirty jobs, one word. Prostitute, dirtiest job and finally, explosives. Deidara was grinned ear to ear with an insane glint inside his sea blue eye.

Joshua was worried he would bomb something… or someone, like, say… Joshua? And that didn't sit well with him.

"Itachi… is Deidara alright?" he asked the Uchiha who was sitting beside him.

The Uchiha didn't respond at first, he was instead observing Deidara with narrowed eyes until he turned to Joshua. "He is fine. Mentally however he is as stable as jelly," he replied simply. "And the current show is not helping."

Joshua needed to get that remote away from Deidara, but how?…

"Hey! The hell, Uchiha?" Deidara snarled when Itachi took the remote in a blur of movement.

"You are not being helped with your obsessive need to destroy things," Itachi monotoned as he sat back down beside Joshua and switched the channel to comedy, then again, and again. For a moment Joshua was hoping he would watch cartoons.

And for ten minutes, all Itachi did was channel surf. Joshua was growing bored but didn't know how to ask for the remote without trying not to seem rude or impatient with a man who could kill him.

"Uh, Itachi…?" Joshua ventured. Itachi's eyes moved to him, the channels kept surfing. "I… was wondering if I could choose the channel?"

Itachi was silent and Joshua waited for death.

The remote dropped into his lap and Itachi stood. "I am going to sleep," he said simply. "Do not disturb me." he walked off into his parents room, closed the door and so, Joshua was left with Deidara.

"Give me the remote, un!" Deidara demanded, holding out his hand to Joshua.

"No," Joshua found the words leaving his mouth before he could put any real thought behind them. "Itachi gave it to me, so… yeah, no."

The blonde stood and walked over to Joshua, hands on his hips he leaned down and said. "Give me the remote," it was a simple tone and command.

Joshua blinked, then said. "Personal space bubble invaded…"

The single blue eye blinked and the Akatsuki member growled. "Give me that damn remote!"

"No!"

The blonde lunged, Joshua yelped and rolled off the couch and let Deidara crash into it, causing it to tip and fall over with him still on it with a crash. Joshua stood, sprinted down the hall towards his room, his safe haven. His…

He entered the door and stopped cold, there on the floor was Sasori, wrapped in Arlene and Tobi, being hugged to sickness. And then he noticed the amount of something in the air… he gagged slightly.

This got the attention of the two hugglers, who looked up at him. Arlene sporting a wicked grin and Tobi, well… he was Tobi. Wicked enough he was.

"Uh, I should be going no-" Joshua began.

"Tackle huggle!" The two hyper huggers yelled as they got off Sasori, who Joshua swore sighed with relief when they did, before lunging at Joshua.

"No!" Joshua feebly raised his hands to shield himself before the combined weight of Arlene and Tobi hit him, knocking him to the floor, Arlene and Tobi's arms circled him and he whimpered_. I'm dead… I'm caught in the hug… I am so dead_. He thought bleakly.

And so, Joshua was hugged by two overly happy people and was suffocating due to too much kind feelings.

Sasori never turned back when he left the room, even when he swore he heard Joshua whisper "help" after him.

After about five minutes of constant hugging, Tobi and Arlene finally let Joshua up, when they did they sat down and stared at him, just… stared.

"Uh…" Joshua blinked, looking at them both. "Why are you staring at me?"

"Because it is…" Arlene began.

"…Really fun!" Tobi finished with a cheer.

"Creepy…" Joshua said, glancing between the two. "Look… Arlene, keep Tobi entertained… I am going to go hang with the others…" he would risk death by bombs, poison or black fire then be in the same with the two for longer then needed. So he stood, moved to the door.

Just before leaving he heard them sing. "Byeeeeee." very slow and creepily together before giggling.

_Oh yes… they're insane… _He thought, moving into the living room and seating himself next to Sasori, He and Deidara were watching TV. Apparently with nothing to say, until finally the redhead spoke.

"Where are we?"

Joshua sighed. He knew what was coming.

"Ask the one sitting beside you, hmm…" Deidara lazily replied, switching the channel.

Sasori turned to Joshua, giving him a bored glare and saying. "Explain, quickly." he commanded.

Joshua went into an explanation of the events of how they had ended up in this particular world and various comments here and there about how it all didn't make sense, Sasori was paying attention to the whole story and nodded at points to show he really was. At then end of the tale Sasori finally spoke.

"That sounds ridiculous."

"I know… it is making me lose sleep trying to figure it out," Joshua said, leaning his head back and staring at the ceiling. "I seriously cannot believe this is all happening, like… dream, y'know?" he turned to Sasori.

"I haven't dreamed in years, so no… I don't know." Sasori said bluntly.

"…" Joshua sighed, looking back to the ceiling. "Well… what's the last thing you remember?"

"Dying."

"…" Joshua waited. "And?" he asked slowly.

"That's it, dying, then ending up here," Sasori admitted, shrugging his shoulders.

"…You're boring for conversation," Joshua put bluntly, sighing softly and standing, deciding to check if Arlene or Tobi had strangled the other in their own aura of cuteness.

When he entered the room, he blanched when he noticed Tobi and Arlene had gotten into his stash of chocolates. "No! those are mine!" he cried, jumping for the bed.

They quickly took handfuls of the snacks and jumped off the bed in time to see Joshua hit it, grunt and bounce off onto the floor where he yelped and groaned in pain upon impact. "Owww…" he muttered, staring at the ceiling with a glare. "I hate my bed…"

"Tobi loves it! So bouncy!" the masked man was indeed back on the bed and bouncing up and down on it. "Up and down! Up and down!" he cheered as he went.

Joshua found it both sickening and cute.

Arlene snaked up beside him, grinning and she patted his chest. "There there…" she said simply.

Oh yes, a new chapter in Joshua's recently complicated life had begun… and it revolved around the odd connection between Tobi and Arlene.

God he was screwed…

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><p><strong>And this, ladies and gentlemen is where Drake S. Hellion's reign of terror ends and mine begins. From here on out you will be reading my continuation of the story (With some genius ideas and comedic gold supplied by our glorious...uhm...that guy.) :)<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**Here be the beginning of where I have taken over! The writing style is different, the chapters are longer, as are the paragraphs, but hey, it's the same story. I have checked this over for spelling and grammar and fixed it up here and there. If you should find more errors, don't hesitate to let me know. :)**

**Disclaimer: Neither Drake nor I own any Naruto characters. We own Joshua and Arlene and future characters owned by us will be noted.**

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><p><em>Brrrmmm. Brrrmmm. Brrrmmm.<em>

Joshua rolled over on his bed and slammed his palm against the top of his alarm clock. He hadn't been getting much sleep since the arrival of the first two Akatsuki members, and now even less with the newest additions. What little sleep he did get was precious to him. Things would have been okay, even with Itachi setting a specific time for Arlene to get up and start cooking every morning…the problem was, Arlene slept through the alarm. It was always Joshua that rolled out of bed and woke her up so that she didn't get into trouble. Lucky for her, he cared about her well-being.

Today, however, Joshua was extra tired. Lacking the energy to get out of bed and wake his comrade, he pulled the pillow from behind his head, gripped the corner firmly and swung it down over the side of his bed where a light _Phmmp_ indicated the contact it made with Arlene's head. Joshua waited. Nothing. He raised his arm lazily, and repeated the downward motion. _Phmmp._ Nothing. Once more, Joshua hit Arlene with his fluffy pillow.

A small groan sounded from the floor next to his bed. _Finally_, he thought to himself. "Arlene…the alarm went off. Get up before you get in trouble."

Slowly, Joshua watched as a mop of messy brown hair rose up over the side of his bed. Behind that mop, Arlene's green eyes cast him a lazy glance. "Mornin'," she greeted.

"You're a heavy sleeper, ya know. You need to work on that."

Arlene gave Joshua a sleepy grin, then stood and straightened out the t-shirt and shorts that Joshua had loaned her. Staring at her pair of jeans that were folded up on the chair by Josh's desk, she sighed. She needed clean clothes to wear, but she absolutely refused to go near her father with the Akatsuki. Someone would end up dead, and with her luck, it would be her, caught in the crossfire.

As if reading her mind, Joshua let out a yawn and said "There's some jeans in the closet you can wear if you want. They're men's jeans but they are too short for me." Arlene smiled and nodded a silent thanks to Joshua who then rolled over and went back to sleep.

Arlene opened the closet door, and just as Joshua had said, there was a pair of black jeans on hanger. She thought it was odd that the entire closet contained merely a single pair of jeans and a tub of Lego that sat on the shelf, but she wasn't going to raise any questions.

Arlene stepped into the closet and pulled the door closed enough to cover herself as she changed into the jeans. She huffed as she stepped out. Too short for Joshua, too long for her. They were a bit too large for her too. Joshua wasn't big or even overly muscled, but he was still a full grown male and Arlene was an average female. The jeans probably would have slipped right off of her butt if her hips had been any smaller.

Giving up on trying to look good in clothes that didn't fit, Arlene silently left Joshua's room and made her way down the hall towards the kitchen. She wondered to herself if anyone was even up yet. Itachi had claimed the room across the hall from Joshua, so she was sure he'd probably been woken up by the alarm. Sasori and Deidara decided to call Joshua's parents room home while they were away and as far as Arlene knew, Tobi had slept on the couch. She felt kind of bad for him, but Josh never would have let him sleep in his room.

As Arlene walked by the couch to the kitchen she glanced over to see Tobi's long figure laying perfectly still. He didn't move or speak when she walked by, so she assumed he was asleep, but, because he was wearing his mask, she smiled at him, just to be safe.

Tobi lay silent as he watched Arlene moving silently around the kitchen. She was no ninja, but she was stealthy. He wondered to himself about what actions he should take, given the drastic changes that had recently disrupted his plans.

If Joshua's explanation of their arrival was true, then he and Arlene would know the truth about him, however Arlene didn't even seem to be afraid of him. How could she know his power and not fear it? She was definitely more cautious around Itachi and Sasori, but still nowhere near as careful as Joshua. It was as though she didn't care that they could kill her in an instant. Lacking the skills and training of any ninja, she was weak and vulnerable. How far could he trust these two lesser beings? Would they rat him out?

Breakfast and lunch had passed and Deidara and Joshua walked along the sides of the roads that allowed vehicle travel throughout the small Manitoban town. It was a warm, sunny afternoon. The kind of weather that Joshua loathed. In this kind of heat, his palms became clammy and his sensitive eyes burned. He'd made many mental notes to himself to acquire some bad ass sunglasses, but he never could find any that suited him. The blond bomber walked to the right of Joshua. He managed to be beside, ahead of and behind the taller, dark haired man at all times and that made Joshua even edgier than he already was.

Deidara walked along with a large sketchpad and a pencil in his hands. Every once in a while he'd stop to draw a small line on the paper, then continue walking. "Man, why'd Itachi have to send _me_ to do this mapping stuff, un?"

Joshua passed him a droll stare as if to say _Do you really need someone to explain that you're more normal looking than the other option?_

Deidara ignore him. "This isn't really my kind of art, ya know. This takes too long, un."

As Deidara and Joshua neared a bridge, a deep growling caught their attention. Looking up, they spotted a very large, very mean looking dog baring its teeth and growling. Joshua swallowed, uncertain of what he should do, but Deidara merely let out an exasperated sigh. He tossed something small and white in front of the dog that sniffed it and, suddenly, a large _BANG_ sounded, followed by a puff of smoke. Deidara laughed, but as the smoke cleared and revealed the dog to be…well…not there, Joshua felt a slight pang of worry for the creature.

Joshua ran to the railing on the bridge and looked around, then noticed movement in the water down below. He watched as the dog swam to the shore on the other side and then took off with its tail between its legs. His worry quickly turned to anger as he turned around and marched towards Deidara. Oh, that blond dope was going to get a piece of his mind. How dare he harm an animal, even if it was about to eat them!

Just as Joshua approached the shorter man, he felt an awkward movement beneath his foot. He barely had time to look down before he saw the small rocks that made up the shoulder of the road start to roll and it wasn't much longer before that, that he rolled with them. Instinctively, Joshua stretched out his arm to grab for something to keep him from falling. He almost got a grip on Deidara's wrist, but Deidara stepped out of the way and watched as Joshua went tumbling down the small hill and into the water.

Deidara watched young man as his head broke through the surface of the water. Slapping his knee, Deidara howled with laughter at the sight of Joshua crawling out of the murky liquid, his clothing clinging to his body and his hair matted down.

Joshua glared at the younger man and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, instantly realize what a mistake that was as his hands were covered in mud and grass from pulling himself out of the river. He growled inwardly and spat grass from his lips then involuntarily licked them, getting a mouthful of mud.

Joshua stalked passed Deidara in the direction opposite of where they had been headed. "Hey, where are you going?" Deidara asked innocently.

Joshua stopped and turned, eyeing Deidara with disgust, not caring about any possible consiquences. "I'm going home! I'm cold. I'm wet. I'm covered in mud. And my phone is wet and ruined and I can't even call Arlene for a ride!"

Deidara blinked. "What's a phone?"

Joshua bit back a roar and stomped off toward his home, Deidara reluctantly following. Itachi would have both their heads.

Itachi sat at the kitchen table, thumbing through a book that Arlene had called "The Encycolpedia: Volume A". This marvellous book held all sorts of information about things in this world. While sipping at some coffee that the young woman had prepared for him, he idly wondered if she ever felt awkward or lonely, being the only female around and his thoughts briefly slipped to a blue haired woman that he had met before.

Itachi's thoughts were quickly interrupted be Sasori let out an odd sound from his throat. Sasori, as usual was parked on the sofa in front of the television, but instead of changing the channel every four seconds, Sasori had actually stopped to watch it. Itachi peered over the counter that divided the kitchen and living room to stare at whatever had caught Sasori's interests. On the screen, he saw several odd looking puppets singing childish songs.

A feminine giggle brought his attention to Arlene, who was leaning forward on the counter. "What's so funny?" Itachi inquired.

Arlene looked at Itachi over her shoulder. "Sasori is watching Sesame Street. I used to watch that when I was three."

"It's a children's show then?"

"Yes. Hence the recitation of the alphabet and numbers from one to ten."

Itachi felt a twitch at the corner of his mouth. This information did amuse him, but he forced back the urge to smile. There was no place for laughter here. He was authority and would be viewed as such. He was to be feared and obeyed…not that Arlene seemed to mind his presence all that much.

From down the hall came the sound of a slamming door right before Tobi bounced into the kitchen, hyper as ever and clapping. "Tobi is ready to help make a cake now!"

Arlene, not leaving her leaning position raised a chiding eyebrow at him. "Tobi…did you wash your hands?"

Tobi paused ever so slightly then laughed and went to the sink to wash his hands. When he was done, he held them out for inspection and when Arlene nodded her approval, he clapped and said, "Tobi is good?"

Arlene nodded. "Tobi is good. Tobi is boy. Tobi is good boy. Now, good boy, Tobi, get the eggs from the fridge." As he did, Arlene got a big bowl and measure the flour into it, followed my cocoa and all the various ingredients for making a chocolate cake.

Itachi watched as the two of them took turns adding ingredients and mixing. He'd never seen anyone, even the Akatsuki, be so patient with Tobi. Likewise, he'd never seen Tobi be so…focused. It was as if they spoke the same language.

Biting back a yawn, he realized that his thoughts of patience and focus were short lived. Just as Arlene was about to pour the cake batter into a large pan, Tobi snatched it out of her hands. "Tobi wants to pour!"

The force it took to pull the bowl from her hands caused Tobi to lose his grip. The bowl and batter slipped from both their hands and flew through the air…

Over the dividing counter…

Across the living room…

Upside down…

In Sasori's lap.

Sasori shot to his feet, letting the bowl drop to the floor and the batter drip onto the medium sized rug. His puppet face held no expression but the air surrounding him was thick with rage and murderous intent.

Sasori shot forward at the speed of light. Before she knew what to do, Sasori had grabbed her by the wrist and flung her as though she weighed no more than a baseball. She flew in the same directional path as the cake batter, over the counter, but as there was no Sasori for her to land on, she crashed into the glass coffee table. She felt the ability to breathe escape her body as the glass shattered underneath her and gravity pulled her - and the glass - to the floor.

She blinked to escape the pain of glass piercing her skin, but quickly found out how fast Sasori really was. When she opened her eyes again, Sasori was a few feet above her, shiny, poison covered blades visible and aimed at her. She had no time to panic before a black and orange blur rushed toward them. When it stopped, Tobi stood defensively over her and Sasori had been tossed back into a wall, though not hard enough to damage it.

"You do not hurt the Arlene! She is Tobi's friend!"

Sasori ground his teeth. "She's been nothing but trouble. Get out of my way!"

"No!" came a deeper voice. Itachi was still sitting in the chair at the table. "Leave her be. We need her."

Sasori opened his mouth to protest but Itachi cut him off, "It wasn't her fault, anyway."

Knowing that he would never get passed Itachi _and_ Tobi, Sasori stalked off to the bedroom he had slept in the night before.

When the puppeteer was gone, Itachi watched as Tobi held onto Arlene's arm as he helped her off the floor. "Tobi is sorry," he said. "It was Tobi's fault. Please don't be mad at Tobi."

Arlene offered him a smile hoping it looked convincing. "It's okay, Tobi." She brushed herself off so she didn't trail glass around.

"Are you injured?" Itachi asked her, though he didn't actually seem concerned.

"No," Arlene half snorted, as though the idea of her being hurt was the silliest she'd ever heard. She ignored the stinging in her right leg and the itch of trickling blood and walked into the kitchen, pulling a broom and dustpan from the corner where they were kept.

Itachi watched as Arlene began to sweep the broken glass into the dustpan. He could smell the blood on her body but couldn't tell exactly where it was coming from. She was quiet but didn't appear to be remotely upset. He knew she was more shaken than she was letting on and found himself mildly impressed by her composure.

Tobi kneeled down next to Arlene. "Can Tobi help?" he asked.

Arlene glanced up at him through her hair then nodded. "Can you clean up the kitchen from the cake and turn the oven off?"

Tobi did as he was asked then, when he was done, spoke quietly to Itachi before leaving the house.

Arlene finished sweeping the glass, then ran a vacuum over the rug to extract the smaller pieces and began wiping the cake batter off the couch and floor.

After a long, cold walk home, Joshua nearly sighed when his house came into view. Tobi had joined them not to long ago and had been speaking quietly with Deidara. Who knew Tobi was capable of controlled speech and volume?

When Joshua walked in the front door of his house, he called out an emotionless greeting to let the others know he was back. Tobi and Deidara pushed passed him, not bothering to offer the dripping wet man a towel.

He kicked off his shoes and walked down the small hallway, stopping at the end. He stared into the living room where he saw Arlene on her knees with a bucket of water and a wet sponge. _What the heck is she doing? _He thought. Then he noticed that the living room was a tiny bit emptier than when he left.

Arlene looked up and caught Joshua's confused expression, but before she offered an explanation, she took into account that he was covered in water, mud and grass. She frowned. "What happened to you?"

Joshua sighed, unable to be snippy or rude to his friend. "Deidara happened to me. What are you doing?"

Arlene could tell by his tone that he was not happy at all. She didn't need to upset him more by telling him about the incident that had caused his parents coffee table to end up in a cardboard box, bound for the garbage dump. She simply smiled and said, "Oh, you know, clumsy me. I owe you a coffee table, by the way."

Joshua let his lips twist into a crooked smile. "Well I'm going to shower."

Arlene nodded and watched as he walked down the hall and get a change of clothes from his room before going into the bathroom.

When the sound of water was heard, Itachi stared down at her. "Why didn't you tell him?" he said.

Arlene shrugged. "He's had a bad day. Didn't think I needed to contribute to his stress level."

Deidara watched Arlene as she tossed the sponge into the bucket and went to dump the water down the kitchen sink. "You don't think someone should tell him? I thought you guys were friends, un?"

Arlene sighed. "We are. But I don't want him to worry." She paused. "How do you even know?"

Tobi raised his hand. "Tobi told Sempai what happened."

"Oh."

"Are you mad at Tobi?"

"No."

It was silent for a few minutes while Arlene unwrapped the pork chops that she'd set out to thaw that morning and set them into a deep baking pan. She sprinkled on some spices and then slid it into the oven.

When she turned around and poured herself some coffee, Deidara spoke again. "Un. Do you want me to tell him?"

Arlene's head shot up, panic in her eyes. "No! Don't tell Joshua!"

"Don't tell Joshua what?" drawled a voice from the hallway as Joshua rounded the corner in clean, dry clothes and toweling his hair dry.

Arlene stared at him, her mouth flopping open and closed like a fish. "Uhm…uh"

Tobi interrupted her. "Tobi burned the cake!" he said, sounding depressed and upset.

Joshua raised an eyebrow at the masked man. "Oh…so, why didn't you want me to know that?"

"Well," Arlene explained. "I know how you don't like the idea of the stove or dishes being damaged or anything…" She held her breath, hoping he'd buy it.

"Oh…I don't like cake anyway…" he said and walked past Arlene and Tobi to pull a bottle of water from the fridge.

Arlene let out a silent sigh of relief and cast a grateful smile to Tobi. That was twice today that he'd saved her.

"Hey, where's Sasori?" Joshua asked.

"He's taking a nap," Itachi answered.

"Oh…but…he sleeps? He's a puppet…"

"He still needs rest," Itachi said, brushing off the argument. Now that things seemed to have calmed down, he turned to Deidara. "Did you finish the map?"

"No," Deidara huffed. "He wouldn't let me! He got all mad and started walking home. And I couldn't let him go anywhere by himself, un!"

Itachi glared at Joshua who tried to avoid eye contact, just in case Itachi had any intent to use the sharingan.

"It wasn't my fault," Joshua protested. "First, Deidara blew up a dog, then I fell in the river!"

"And?" Itachi argued.

Tobi and Arlene remained silent as they listened to the discussion. Joshua continued to defend himself. "And, if I had kept going, I'd have gotten sick and then you'd have had to wait for me to get better before you could finish the map." He bit his tongue hoping that Itachi would find logic in his words.

A moment of silence passed before Itachi finally nodded and left the matter be.

Arlene turned to Deidara. "Dei…why were you blowing up dogs?"

Deidara sat up straight. "It attacked us first, un!"

"It growled. We were on its territory," Joshua stated, being considerate of animals.

"It doesn't matter," Deidara said. "It lived anyway. I didn't use enough clay." He turned to Arlene. "And where the frick did 'Dei' come from, un?"

He looked slightly annoyed but Arlene found it more amusing than anything. "It came from _Dei_dara," she answered, emphasizing the first syllable of his name.

Tobi laughed. "Sempai Dei!" he shouted cheerfully.

"Oh don't you start." Deidara huffed then stalked off toward the same room that Sasori was in.

With that, Arlene continued cooking and the rest went about their business until dinner was ready.

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><p><strong>Review, review, review! Thanks for reading!<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Neither Drake nor I own any Naruto characters. We own Joshua and Arlene and future characters owned by us will be noted.**

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><p>Arlene lay on the mattress on Joshua's bedroom floor, staring silently at the LED alarm clock, waiting for it to be close enough to 6:30am that she could get up and begin cooking. She hadn't slept at all for the past three nights, for every time she closed her eyes, she saw Sasori hovering over her, blades doused and dripping poison.<p>

To be completely honest, she didn't mind the presence of the Akatsuki. She couldn't help but like them, and as a bonus, it gave her a very good reason not to return to her father's house. But Sasori…Sasori she'd never liked and yesterday didn't help that at all. The Akatsuki may be ruthless, but Sasori was the only one without a heart. Yet he lived.

At 6:19am, Arlene sat up on her knees and reached out to turn of the alarm before it would wake Joshua. She had been lying silently and at least waiting for it to begin its obscene blaring but over the past few nights, she'd realized that he hadn't been sleeping very well. He'd tossed and turned all night, groaning in his sleep, muttering things that she couldn't understand. And through all of this, he'd still made sure that she was up every morning to perform her duties. She couldn't help but feel guilty.

Arlene stood and straightened her oversized t-shirt and flannel bottoms before leaving the bedroom as silently as she possibly could. Damned if she was going to get dressed today. Not on a Saturday…never on a Saturday.

Out on the couch, the masked Uchiha awoke as the click of a door signaled that Arlene was leaving the bedroom. He frowned beneath his mask wondering why she was up before the alarm went off. Usually it went off at least twice before she made an appearance.

Listening to her footsteps draw nearer, Madara watched through the solitary hole in his mask as Arlene emerged from the hallway. She stopped at the end of the couch where his feet were and turned her head ever so slightly. He remained silent but took note of the dark rings under her eyes that seemed to be getting more and more noticeable each day since they'd made cake together.

She cast him the same small smile that she did every morning before continuing into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. Despite the story her eyes told, her movements seemed more methodical than fatigued and he idly wondered if she'd been through this prison-like state before.

Rolling over, Joshua stretched and yawned. He smiled to himself as he rolled over to turn off the alarm clock only to realize that it wasn't on. His eyes widened. He looked at the time. 9:47am. How had he slept this long? Looking down to the mattress, Arlene's absence astounded him. That girl would sleep all day if no one woke her. How could she have gotten up on her own without the alarm clock waking him up? Unless…unless she hadn't actually slept.

Given her recent awkwardness and forced energy, he wouldn't doubt that. Something had happened and he was in the dark. Arlene was hiding something from him and he was determined to figure out what it was.

Joshua's thoughts were quickly cut off as a loud crash sounded from the kitchen. He jumped out of bed and ran down the hall, expecting the worst. Skidding to a halt, he took in the entirety of the room. People, locations, objects…people like Tobi…in locations like the kitchen…objects like a broken glass on the floor.

"Oh, great," Joshua yawned. "Something else I'm going to have to replace."

"Tobi is sorry!" Tobi whined, dragging out the final syllable

A deep sound of someone clearing their throat came from Joshua's left. Looking over, he spotted Itachi sitting at the kitchen table, Volume C of the encyclopedia set open on the table. Itachi cast him a pointed stare and it was then that Joshua realized that he was wearing only a pair of bright red boxers with white hearts on it. Mentally face-palming, Joshua covered himself with his hands and scuttled back to his room.

Deidara chuckled at Joshua's back as he left. Sasori shifted on the couch next to Deidara, his wooden joints clacking as he did so. Arlene sighed and stepped over the broken glass to get the broom and dustpan to sweep it up. She could feel Sasori and Itachi watching her and actually began to feel slightly uncomfortable.

After Arlene had swept up the broken glass and Tobi had gone to shower, Itachi lifted his head and eyed the young woman. Every once in a while she'd glance sideways to observe Sasori and then himself. Her spunk had definitely died down the last few days and although he acted like her new attitude was preferred, inside he missed her energy and fire. He missed seeing her engaged and hyper, but he could never let anyone know that. Even if Arlene and Joshua knew the truth about him, his fellow Akatsuki didn't and would turn their backs on him if they ever found out.

When Joshua returned to the kitchen, clothed and awake, Itachi nodded an approval to him and Joshua went to make toast. Turning to Arlene once more he looked pointedly at her own night clothes. "Arlene, why don't you go and get dressed, too. I feel like going for a walk and you should guide me."

Arlene's answer was flat and simple. "No."

The room fell silent and all eyes turned to her. "I beg your pardon?" Itachi said rising to his feet, narrowing his eyes at her.

"I said no."

Joshua spluttered. "Are you insane? You can't say 'no' to an Uchiha. You're going to get yourself killed."

Arlene sighed. "I don't get dressed on Saturdays. I never have and don't see why I should start now just because Itachi wants go for a jaunty stroll."

Joshua gaped and the movement of his mouth seemed to resemble a fish.

Itachi's deep voice turned even more ice cold and deadly than before. He locked his gaze with Arlene, making Joshua nearly certain she was done for. "Arlene. Go dress yourself. Now."

Arlene stared back at Itachi, locked in a silent battle with his eyes. Her heart pounded in fear but she would never let on. "Arlene," came Josh's whispered plea. "Please…do as he says…"

Breaking eye contact with the red eyes, she looked at Joshua who, although unnoticeable to anyone other than her, looked like he was on the brink of tears. She hated the idea of having to give in to Itachi's will this time, but she couldn't do this to Joshua. Not after he'd done so much for her. She couldn't worry him or put him through any more pain. So, with a huff, Arlene spun on her heel and stomped off toward's Josh's room.

Joshua looked sheepishly to Itachi who was glaring down the hallway. A sudden burst of laughter stole the attention of both men. Deidara doubled over and slapped his knee. "What a stupid woman! Did she honestly think she was going to win that? What a foolish cu-"

"SHUT UP!" both Itachi and Joshua yelled in unison.

Deidara fell silent and stared at Itachi with his only visible eye. "Hey, man…I'm on your side. There's no need to yell at me, un? She's only acting like this because of what Sa-"

"SILENCE" Itachi bellowed.

"Wait…" Joshua said. "Because why?"

Deidara shifted under the gaze of the Uchiha. "Um…I don't know. Maybe she's on her period or something."

Joshua frowned. "Huh?"

Itachi sighed.

Sasori stood from where he was sitting and made a stretching motion even though he had no need to stretch. And despite his emotionless face, he still seemed smug. "Because I nearly killed her."

Joshua nearly vomited. He turned to Itachi for any sign that the puppet was lying. Finding none, he caught himself before he begged Itachi to tell him it wasn't true. "But why! Why would you even consider such a thing! What could she have possibly done that warranted death!"

Sasori eyed him. "Her and that foul, fool replacement dumped cake batter all over me!"

"It was Tobi's fault."

Turning, Joshua spotted Tobi leaning in the hallway entrance. He hadn't even heard the man leave the washroom. Tobi sunk his chin to his chest. "Tobi is sorry, Mister Joshua. Arlene asked us not to tell you."

Struggling to find an appropriate response, the need to was suddenly destroyed as the air around them began to swirl. The room became very cold and with a flash of bright light, the very atmosphere in front of him seemed to split and then begin to form a solid figure.

_No…_ was Joshua's only thought and he ran through the commotion to his room. He grabbed the handle, trying to open the door but it was useless. Arlene had locked it from the other side and he knew exactly what she was doing. _Shit_, he thought. It just wasn't like her to be so irrational, even if she was severely pissed off. All he could do was return to the kitchen and see for himself who she thought would be able to ease her tension.

Joshua reached the end of the hall with his heart sunk. He took a calming breath before he looked up into the kitchen. As the swirling air finally dissipated a loud voice emitted from behind a cloak. His jaw dropped as the words that voice formed was nothing but a long string of swearing. "Hidan?" Joshua squeaked before he could stop himself.

The cloaked figure turned to face him and confirmed Joshua's suspicions and fear. To think Arlene would actually willingly and knowingly summon Hidan…then again he remembered that she had mentioned something about having a great respect for him. He couldn't remember exactly why at this moment, but it'd return to him eventually.

"Who the fuck are you?" Hidan growled.

From behind Hidan, an orange headed man emerged. Short, messy, orange hair and many piercings. Obviously Pein. But why would Arlene summon Pein as well? Because she needed two players to enter the match and Joshua admired Pein and his power.

A loud click came from the hallway and Arlene stormed into the kitchen fully dressed. She glared daggers at Itachi. "Fine. I'll guide you on your walk. But he-" she pointed to Hidan, "-comes too."


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Neither Drake nor I own any Naruto characters. We own Joshua and Arlene and future characters owned by us will be noted.**

**For daydreamer1008! Thank you for your encouragement, support and kindness! :)**

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><p>After the newest arrivals, Itachi had a quiet, lengthy and private conversation in his temporary bedroom, with Hidan and Pein. In the kitchen, Arlene waited under the careful watch of Deidara. Deidara eyed the girl silently. "So you just…up and summoned whoever you felt like?"<p>

"Mhm."

"With no ritual or anything; just like that?"

"Just like that."

Joshua sat at the table opposite Arlene. He said nothing to her but kept his eye on Sasori out of the corner of his eye. Sasori who was, once again, watching children's television shows. Tobi was sitting at the table with them eating a large bowl of ice cream, being his normal carefree self, waving his arms about frantically and yammering on about anything that came to mind, even though no one was listening.

Finally, Itachi, Pein and Hidan emerged from the bedroom and silently entered the kitchen. Well…silent except for Hidan's complaining. "But why do _I_ have to go with them? I don't even know this girl. For all I know, she's a heathen."

Arlene looked up at Hidan. "In technical terms, a heathen refers to any person who does not follow the Christian faith. Yes…I am a heathen…as are you."

Joshua slumped, laying his head in his hands trying to figure out why she just kept giving them something to kill her for. Hidan frowned at her and huffed. "Ya see what I mean?"

Pein turned to look at Hidan while Itachi silently watched Arlene, just like he always did. "Hidan…I'm ordering you to accompany Itachi and the girl. Stop complaining."

Hidan threw his hands up in the air in a very childlike manner. "Awww, man!"

With that, Arlene rose from her seat and headed for the door, Itachi and Hidan following. Once they reached the road, Arlene crossed it and began walking in a westward direction. When they were out of sight of the house, she looked to Hidan. "So I take it you've been filled in on what's going on here?"

Hidan looked down at her awkwardly. She seemed very short. "Yeah. Itachi told us that you summoned us from something called manga."

Arlene lifted a brow. That wasn't right. She sucked him out of a video game, but seeing as this was all very new to Hidan, she wasn't going to argue the point. She merely nodded. "What were you doing before you came here?" she asked, her random curiosity getting the better of her.

"I was walking."

"To where?"

"A place."

"Oh." She paused a minute. "With Kakuzu?"

"No. He was collecting money from someone-or-other." Hidan gave a short, deep chuckle. "Man, he's gonna be pissed when I don't meet him at the quarry."

Itachi watched as Arlene smiled at that small piece of information. Hidan answered all her questions without hesitation, as expected, with him being so loud-mouthed and non-stop talking. The man could be annoying at times. Itachi had no idea where she was taking them, and as he hadn't given her a destination and said that she was to guide him, he supposed that he should ask.

Itachi took a few long strides to move a bit faster so he was walking on the other side of Arlene. He waited for one of those large, metal vehicles that Joshua had called a "car" to pass before he spoke. "Arlene," he said, simply trying to gain her attention before he asked the question.

Arlene didn't answer him. In fact, she didn't even acknowledge that he was speaking. She just kept walking and talking to Hidan. "So you've _never_ had spaghetti?"

"No. Never even heard of it."

Itachi frowned and idly wondered what spaghetti was. When there was a pause in their conversation he made a second attempt to gain her attention. "Arlene, where are we going?"

No answer.

"Where are we going, Arlene?"

Nothing. Hidan kept trying to point out to her that Itachi was speaking to her, but she ignored those comments, too.

"I demand to know where you are taking us."

Nadda.

"Why are you so upset?" To anyone else, that question would seem obvious. But to Itachi's all seeing eyes, he knew that there was something more than just near death that had thrown this girl off the deep end. She was stuck in a memory that she couldn't let go of and he needed to know what.

She continued talking to Hidan. "You should try ice cream."

"Why?"

"Because it's good."

Itachi growled. "Tell me what you're remembering!"

"What's it taste like?" Hidan inquired.

"Well…it depends on the flavor. There's so many flavors. But in general, it's sweet, but not too sweet…and cold. It's wet and sticky when it melts. But even melted it's still yummy."

"Yummy…" Hidan mimicked.

By now, Itachi couldn't even recognize this part of town from when he went to the store with Deidara, Joshua and…Arlene. This girl who was ignoring him and starting to seriously get on his nerves. He grabbed her by the arm and spun her to face him. "Stop ignoring me!" he hissed.

With a glint of his eye, Itachi tapped into Arlene's emotions and all the thoughts that were linked to them. He sifted through the fear, anger, annoyance, sorrow, hurt and even a small bit of joy that must have been present from her chat with Hidan. When all the images of her thoughts flew together, one in particular stuck out. An image of a man who bore sharp, green eyes and brown hair just like Arlene's. He was standing over a young, teenage girl. Itachi could smell the alcohol on the man's breath and hear the hatred in his voice as he shouted obscenities at the girl and beat her with the half empty liquor bottle in his hand. The bottle busted over her head and as he continued to beat her with his fists, she lay bleeding in a pile of broken glass.

Itachi left her thoughts and felt a pang in his chest as an image of his younger brother, Sasuke passed through his mind. Itachi didn't need to know the names of the people in the memory to know that it was Arlene and her father. The slender Uchiha watched as Arlene's eyes grew round in anger and embarrassment. She knew what he'd done and Itachi knew that in this world, people were not ninjas. They were not built or trained to deal with things like that as part of their daily life.

Itachi removed his hand from the girl's shoulder. He voice was low and his lips tight as he spoke. "I see now. Forgive me."

Hidan watched as Itachi grabbed the girl for merely a second before he let go and walked back in the direction of the house. But Hidan was no fool. He knew that in that second, more happened than what he could see with his immortal eyes.

As Itachi left, Hidan turned his gaze to the girl as she stared at her feet. "Do you wanna keep walking or are we going back? Either way I'm hungry."

Arlene shrugged. "Up to you. Not like there's much to see around here at this time of year. It's all just mud anyway."

Hidan looked onward in the direction that they had been walking and watched a dog cross the road and a bird perch on a light post. "Well…let's go back then…"

Joshua sat at his computer, researching in case there had been any other reportings of anime characters jumping dimensions or popping up in reality. He found a lot on parallel universes but nothing that could help him here. He heard the front door slam shut and glanced at the clock before leaving his room to check in on Arlene. When he got to the living room where he expected to find his friend, he found only Itachi standing over Sasori, hissing threats at him.

Itachi noticed Joshua looking around the living room and glancing back at the doorway. He must be worried about his friend. Itachi called Pein for another meeting and as they made their way to his room, Itachi mumbled a quiet "She's fine," to Joshua as he passed.

Although he was grateful that Itachi tried to give him some peace of mind, Joshua wasn't exactly sure just how "fine" she could be if she was alone with a man who is known for sacrificial rituals.

As he watched the door, Tobi slid into his view and bounced on the spot, waving a deck of cards at him. "Tobi found these in the drawer. Is this a game?"

"Yes…and no…" Joshua replied not entirely sure what the real answer was.

"What is it then?"

"It's…it's not a game itself, but…it's used for playing many different games."

"Can you show Tobi? Tobi promises to be good!"

Joshua flinched inwardly. This man was just so damn happy all the time. How was such a powerful person able to pull off such a convincing, stupid, facade? Perhaps it was just a testimony of Madara's genius.

With impeccable timing, Arlene entered the house, Hidan behind her. Joshua quickly scanned what was visible of her skin for bruises or scratches…or deep, fatal gouges. Finding nothing he approached her. She stopped and stared up at him, her eyes practically dripping with pissed off.

"What happened?" Joshua asked her.

"He knows about Jack," she replied before walking down the hall and into Joshua's room. Joshua quickly glanced at Hidan who merely shrugged and flopped down on the couch next to Sasori who, after being threatened by Itachi, continued to do nothing but watch television.

Joshua followed Arlene to his room. He closed the door behind him and sat at his computer as she stretched out on his bed and stared at the wall. "What exactly do you mean?"

Arlene looked over to Joshua. "He used his eyes to see my thoughts. And now he knows about Jack."

"Knows that you have a father named Jack?"

"Knows what Jack did after mom died."

Joshua formed a small "o" with his mouth. "He and Pein went to the room again, too. So…Pein probably knows now."

"Great," Arlene mumbled.

"Do you want some time alone?" Joshua asked, already knowing what the answer would be.

As she nodded, he left the room to give her some time to steam. Hopefully she'd calm down sooner or later. Out in the living room, Joshua sat in the armchair and watched as Tobi laid out the playing cards on the floor as if he knew what he was doing with them.

By the time dinnertime had rolled around and then left, Arlene left Josh's room only once to use the washroom. Hidan's stomach emitted a long rumbling. "Aww, man, I'm starvin' here!"

Deidara stared at him, holding his own stomach, "What are you whining about, you're immortal."

"Yeah, but it's still uncomfortable. Dammit, Pein, can't you make her come out and cook?"

Deidara answered with his own thoughts. "Probably could, but she might poison the food."

Joshua grunted in amusement. "Probably."

"Well," Hidan gestured toward Joshua. "Why don't you cook for us?"

"Believe me, you'd rather have her poison you than eat my cooking. That's one skill I never got the hang of."

Tobi shifted on the couch then raised his hand as if he were in school. "What?" Pein said, giving Tobi the go-ahead to speak.

"Maybe Sasori-sempai should apologize. Maybe then she will come and cook Tobi some supper."

Itachi and Pein stared silently at Tobi. Deidara cleared his throat. "As much as I hate to say this, Danna, I have to agree with Tobi on this. Maybe you should just apologize. You may not need to eat, but we're all starving to death here…except Hidan. He's just a baby."

Hidan jumped up from his seat and barked a threat at Deidara.

Sasori actually huffed and stood up, making his way toward the hall. Joshua, having taken a second to realize what Sasori was doing, rushed from his seat to block of Sasori's path. Sasori looked up at Joshua and although his gaze was empty, it was somehow feral and deadly. Joshua held his hands up to show that he didn't want a fight.

"You can't do that."

"What?" Deidara asked. "Why not?"

Joshua sighed and lowered his hands. "Well…Sasori is a puppet. He can't actually feel anything."

"So?" Hidan said, not getting the point.

Itachi spoke thoughtfully. "If he apologizes without actually feeling remorse…"

Joshua finished his sentence. "It'll just piss her off more."

Pein nodded in understanding. "Sit down, Sasori." Sasori obeyed.

Joshua looked at Pein. "I'll try talking to her," he said and then turned and left.

Arlene didn't break her gaze from the wall as she heard the door open then close.

Joshua stepped into her line of view, looking somewhat apprehensive. He really was intending to ask her to come cook, but seeing her expression, he knew it was a bad idea.

"Uhm…"

"Uhm, what?" Arlene asked.

"I was wondering if I could borrow the car to go get some slush. I promise to bring you one."

Arlene half chuckled. "Keys are in my coat."

Joshua grinned and clapped his hands together once. "Awesome."

"Can you gas it up while you're out?"

"Yeah, sure," Josh replied as he dug the keys out of her pocket and grabbed his own coat.

When Joshua left the room and made his way back down the hall he tried to figure out how to explain to the six Akatsuki that he didn't even ask. When all eyes laid on him, he turned to Pein, trying to keep himself calm.

"She wants me to gas up her car," he said, simply.

"And then she'll come cook?" Deidara asked.

Joshua shifted. "No…"

Tobi toppled over onto the floor.

Pein stood silently and nodded at Joshua. "Very well. I shall accompany you."

Hidan looked up at Pein in amazement. "Really? You're going to do her a favor just because she's upset?"

Pein gave a chiding stare to Hidan. "Hidan…if you had any experience in the area, you'd know that, even if you're stronger, you do not disobey a pissed off woman."

Hidan grinned and chuckled. "What makes you think I haven't met my share of women?"

Itachi took a sip of coffee. "That's not the point, Hidan."

Pein pulled his cloak tighter around him as Joshua put on his shoes. "Whether it be sex or food, a woman can always take away something essential to your survival. Do not screw up."

Hidan let out a howl of laughter before the thought actually sunk in and killed any humor in Pein's statement. Without another spoken word, Pein and Joshua left to Arlene's car for gas and slush.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Neither Drake nor I own any Naruto characters. We own Joshua, Arlene and Derek and future characters owned by us will be noted.**

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><p>Joshua turned the key in the ignition of Arlene's car and listened to the rumble that signaled its start up. He turned on the lights and noted that the gas gauge was at ¼ of a tank. He fastened his seatbelt, and waited for Pein to do the same.<p>

Joshua set the car to reverse as he slowly backed out of his driveway and then set it to drive and headed out onto the road. He started out really slow, gripping the wheel as though his life depended on it. Joshua had driven many times before, but never without his trusted comrade, Arlene, in the passenger seat ready to jump in and save him from destruction should anything go wrong.

Pein eyed the man driving the large metal box. From what Itachi had told him, Joshua was very protective over that girl, Arlene. Deciding that he was the more powerful being in the car, Pein spoke to Joshua. "Are you two an item?"

Joshua shot a confused glance at Pein before turning back to the road. "What?"

"You and the girl; you are close?"

"Yes. Very close."

"Together?"

"Close together, yes."

"No. Together? A relationship?"

"…A friendship is a relationship."

Pein mentally sighed. Either Joshua was beating around the bush or he really didn't get what Pein was asking. "A romantic relationship?"

Joshua spluttered, causing the car to swerve, but he quickly regained control of it. "No! Just…very close friends."

Pein nodded, accepting the answer and turned to look out the window. "Where are we going?"

"Gas station. To put gas in the car via a gas delivering nozzle and then pay for it." Joshua paused for a moment then added very quietly. "Then to go get some slush."

Pein looked back to Joshua. "To get what?"

"Slush," Joshua added slightly more confidently. Joshua slowed down and came to a stop as he approached an intersection and turned on the signal light to indicate he was turning right.

Pein remained silent until Joshua was past the intersection and up to speed again. "What is slush?"

Joshua had a sudden memory of being asked that same question by Itachi and Deidara when they first arrived. "Slush," Joshua said thoughtfully, "is the nectar of the gods."

Pein remained silent while he thought about that. "Intriguing. How is this slush acquired?"

Joshua slowed down again as the vehicle in front of him braked and signaled to turn. "Well…you go to the store that sells it and ask them for it and then they bring it to you and you pay for it."

"That's it? There's no trials or feats of strength to accomplish first?"

Joshua looked at Pein like he was crazy. "No."

"It's just available to all public?"

"Well…yeah."

Pein thought for a minute, trying to comprehend how a God's beverage could be so abundant that it was open to all. "Oh, I see, it's very expensive, right?"

"No…" Josh said, not understanding why Pein was having such a difficult time accepting this.

"What? So just anyone with some spare change can become a God?" he asked, clearly appalled.

_Oh shit_, Joshua thought to himself. "No, no…Pein…sir," Joshua hoped that offering Pein a title of respect would stop him from certain destruction, "slush doesn't turn you into a God. I just meant…that…it's…well it's a really good drink. That's all I meant."

Pein narrowed his eyes on Joshua. "Are you sure?" he asked slowly.

Joshua nodded sharply. "Yes. Very sure."

Pein waited in the car while Joshua inserted a metal nozzle into a hole in the side of the car and held down a lever. When he pulled the nozzle out, Joshua disappeared into a small building. Suddenly wondering if it was a bad idea to let the man go alone, Pein opened the door to the car to follow Joshua, but just as he stepped out of the vehicle, Joshua emerged from the store again and hurried back to the car.

The ride to the video store, also known to Joshua as The Fortress of Slush Acquirement, was short and silent. Pein followed Joshua in this time, just to be safe.

Joshua squinted as he opened the solid metal door, the bright fluorescent lights momentarily blinding him. Continuing inside, Joshua made his regular left hand turn and went to look at the various video games to see if anything he didn't already own spiked his interest.

As he scanned the empty cases, he wondered how long it would be until Arlene would come back around to her normal self. He also wondered why Pein was standing so close to him and touching every single case, but didn't bother questioning it.

Finding nothing of interest, Joshua turned 180 degrees and went to look at the newly released movies, performing the same scan.

Pein picked up numerous cases from the shelf then put them back before moving to stand next to Joshua and asking very quietly, "What are these?"

Still scanning, Joshua replied. "Movies."

"Movies?"

"Yes. Stories that have been made into moving pictures with real people, called actors, taking on the roles of the story's characters and acting it out."

Pein frowned at the shorter man. "I know what a movie is. I just haven't seen it in this…format."

Joshua lowered his head ever so slightly, almost sheepishly. "Oh," he said, remembering back to one episode of Naruto where Kakashi mentioned his favorite book being made into a movie.

Again, finding nothing of interest, Joshua moved on. "Time for slush," he said as he headed towards the counter. He waited quietly in the short line and looking to his right he mentally cursed as he saw the last person he ever wanted to see. Derek; a tall, well built, blonde haired, blue eyed man with a God complex worse than Pein's.

Joshua sighed as Derek spotted him. Derek eyed him in a very disturbing way and his nose hoop gleamed threateningly in the light as Derek grinned sadistically. But there was no time for Derek and his games right now. It was time for slush…super-duper, almighty slush. Joshua moved forward in the line, standing at the counter, Pein at his side.

The girl on the other side looked at him and waited expectantly instead of offering a greeting or, you know…anything polite. Joshua opened his mouth to speak but before he could, Pein slammed his fist down on the counter excitedly. "We'll take eight orders of God's nectar!"

The girl stared at them both like they were insane. Joshua turned so she couldn't see his mouth and he spoke quietly to Pein. "Just call it slush…and why eight?"

Pein looked down at Joshua without trying to conceal his words. "Because there is us plus six others at the house. Six plus two is eight, right?"

Joshua nodded. "Well…yeah, it is. But…" Joshua cleared his throat and glanced over his shoulder at the girl. "Sasori," he continued very quietly, "doesn't eat or drink."

"Oh, right," Pein said. He looked back at the girl. "Seven orders of God's nectar, woman!"

Joshua gaped and rubbed his temples. He looked up at the girl. "Seven large slushes, please," he said.

The girl snapped her gum. "What flavor?" she asked with very little emotion.

After Joshua had paid for the slush, he handed one tray to Pein to carry and took the other to the car. He opened the door to the back seat and set the tray of drinks very carefully on the back seat, securing their balance with the blanket that Arlene kept back there so that they wouldn't tip over. Pein did the same on the other side of the car.

Feeling the short hairs on the back of his neck stand on end, Joshua closed the car door and turned around, his suspicions being confirmed by the sight of Derek, the man who had bullied and tormented Joshua since childhood. It wasn't like he ever hurt Joshua's feelings with his antics, but he proved to be extremely annoying.

Derek smirked at Joshua. "What's up bubble boy?"

Joshua could already feel his anger and annoyance reaching dangerous levels. "I'm allergic to sun, not air."

Derek laughed, exposing his tongue which was discolored from ice cream. "Oh, right, right. So that makes you, what? A vampire?"

Joshua stuffed his hand in his pocket to retrieve the car keys. "If I were, you'd have an extreme shortage of blood, by now."

"Oooh," Derek mocked fear. "Getting a little testy there, firefly?"

Joshua stopped in the midst of opening the driver's side door. He looked at Derek, half confused, half astounded by his stupidity. "Wh-…what?"

Pein stood from the other side of the car after having placed the slush inside. When he looked over the top of the car, he saw a blonde man talking to Joshua and by Joshua's expression, this wasn't a friend. The blonde man paused mid-sentence as he spotted Pein.

"Oh, wow!" Derek grinned. "Dude, wicked cosplay costume!" Pein watched as this new man hurried around the vehicle towards him. "Dude where did you find this?"

Pein noticed that the man's tongue was an odd blue color. Was he sick? He also noticed that this possibly sick man was getting too close and was making moves to grab Pein's cloak. Pein's brow furrowed in anger and without a word, he activated his Rennigan and sent the sick man flying across the parking lot.

Joshua let out a howl of laughter then yelled for Pein to get into the car quickly. Without knowing why, Pein obeyed. Joshua didn't bother to buckle his seatbelt. Instead, he started the car and peeled out of the parking lot with movie stunt skills.

Joshua kept looking in his rear-view mirror and laughing about Derek getting his ass kicked. "Wow…Pein…that was great," he complimented the orange haired Akatsuki. "That was so awesome. That guy is such a dick. That was great, man, I love you."

The car was quickly consumed by silence as both men realized what words left Joshua's mouth. Pein stared in uncomfortable disbelief and Joshua spluttered, trying to gain composure. "I didn't mean…I meant…What I meant was-"

Pein narrowed his dark gaze on Joshua. "Don't…just don't. We shall never speak of this…ever."

Joshua nodded sheepishly, "Understood."

The car ride home was deafeningly silent.

_Meanwhile…_

While Joshua and Pein were gone the rest of the Akatsuki, except for Sasori, continued to complain about being hungry. Deidara tapped the stove with his toes. "So she's the only one here who knows how to use this beastly cooking unit?"

"Aw, man," Hidan complained. "Pein was right. She's going to starve us all! Dammit, Sasori!"

Itachi remained silent, but knew that she would have cooked them dinner if he hadn't gone prying into her thoughts like he did. But she left him with no alternative.

Tobi jumped up from the floor where he was once again playing with a deck of cards. "Tobi helped the Arlene make a cake! Tobi can use it! Tobi will cook us dinner! Tobi is a good boy!"

Everyone in the room groaned and Sasori made himself scarce.

Joshua and Pein returned home and retrieved the slush's from the back seat of the car. Heading inside, Joshua went into the kitchen and set the slushes on the table, announcing their arrival, "We're ho-"

Joshua's words died on his lips as he actually lifted his gaze and saw the state of his house. Tobi stood in front of the stove, wearing Joshua's mother's apron and wielding a spatula.

Tobi spun around, and though his face was masked, his voice was excited. "Welcome home!"

Joshua looked around his kitchen/living room. Half cooked spaghetti noodles clung to the upholstered furniture. Hearing a light _shhclllppp_, he turned his head toward the table where a pile of white goop landed, splattering onto an exhausted looking Itachi and a horrified Hidan. Looking up to the ceiling, Joshua found the source of the white goop dripping from the ceiling. "Is that…potatoes?"

Joshua continued to gape at the state of his house before he spotted Deidara hiding behind a potted tree in the living room. Just then a glint caught his attention. Looking down at the bottom of the couch, he spotted a dark red liquid seeping out from underneath and into the cracks of the hardwood floor where a rug used to be.

Fearing the worst, Joshua lunged forward, landing on his hands and knees. Peering under he found a bottle of ketchup with no lid. He sighed and sat back on his knees. How silly. Arlene couldn't fit under the couch…then again, parts of her could.

Suddenly noticing Sasori's absence, Joshua stood up and eyed the Akatsuki as Pein passed out slush to everyone. "Should I find Arlene anywhere but my room and anything but whole, I shall," he searched his entire vocabulary to find threats that he could both offer and deliver to the Akatsuki. Finding none, he finished with "be very vexed," and left to check on Arlene.

Gripping the knob on his door, he turned, only to find that it was locked. He called through the door. "You okay in there?"

A click signaled the unlocking of the door and it opened to show Arlene standing on the other side, whole and unharmed. She moved back so that Joshua could enter. When he did he tilted his head at her. "So, how are you doing?"

She offered him an annoyed stare. "Do you know how much it kills me that every time I look in the mirror, I have to see my father staring back at me? Why couldn't I look like my mother?"

Joshua frowned. "What does it matter?"

Arlene frowned back, "It matters that I have to see that swine every damned day when I'd rather just be rid of him. His eyes…his hair…his nose, his face."

Joshua paused for a minute before offering his true thoughts. "Arlene…you may have your father's looks, but you have your mother's heart…that's what matters the most."

Arlene remained silent, taken aback by Joshua's words. She'd never thought of it that way and it touched her that he thought of her mother. She glanced out the window. Seeing nothing but darkness she looked back to Joshua and changed the subject. "Did you get slush?" she asked.

"Oh, yeah," Joshua said and went to the kitchen to get it for her. He paused again at seeing the horror that was Tobi's cooking. At least the house was still standing.

Itachi, who was covered in mashed potato splatter, growled and stood up. "That's it…I've had enough." He moved forward and grabbed the slush that Joshua had picked up for Arlene. Itachi pushed his way past Joshua and to his bedroom.

Joshua panicked and began to follow, but Pein's firm hand on his shoulder stopped him.

Itachi pushed the door open, causing Arlene to take a few panicked steps backwards, and slammed it shut behind him, causing her to jump. Itachi waited for her breathing to even out, feeling regret for scaring her, but not saying anything about it.

"Sit," he ordered. She sat on the computer chair behind her. He held out the slush and she took it hesitantly. "I get it. You're unhappy because I intruded on your private thoughts and learned something that you'd rather nobody knew. But you know what? Who cares? You know all about my past, all the important events in my life and you know about all my comrades. It's only fair that we know something about you, too."

Arlene stared at him wide eyed as she considered what he said. She wanted to comment on the fact that hardly anything the Akatsuki ever did was fair, but thought it better to keep that to herself. She sighed and took a sip of her slush. "Yeah…I guess so."

Itachi blinked. Part of him was glad that she finally listened to reason and part of him was amazed that it was that easy.

"Did you tell anyone?"

"Just Pein."

"Can you not tell anyone else?"

Itachi thought for a moment. "Can you get some decent rest tonight and go back to being happy tomorrow?"

Arlene grinned crookedly at him. "Guess, so," she agreed.

Itachi nodded. "Then I shall tell no one else."

With that, Itachi left the girl to her slush and her sleep and went back to the kitchen to order Joshua and Tobi to clean up that wretched mess.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: Neither Drake nor I own any Naruto characters or anything related to Left 4 Dead 1 or 2. We own Joshua and Arlene. Any future characters owned by us will be noted.**

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><p>Arlene stood in the kitchen preparing a fresh pot of coffee. As she let it brew, she turned to the pantry and poured a large bowl of chips to snack on during game time. Today was going to be a great day. Akatsuki – except for Sasori -, doritos, soda and video games.<p>

Joshua sat on the couch waiting for the game to load so he could set it up. Today, he and Arlene were going to show Deidara how to play _Left 4 Dead 2_. As Joshua left the game to go grab his glass chess set from his room, a loud _Rrrrnnnnggg_ signaled the ringing of his telephone and was quickly followed by an equally loud _Pccssssshhh_ signaling Deidara's detonation of said phone.

Having become used to the antics of the Akatsuki in panic mode, Joshua merely sighed and removed the phone book from the way of the small fire created by the explosion. Arlene casually made her way over with a glass of water to put out the fire. Joshua looked down at her, "At least he didn't scorch the phone book."

Arlene chuckled, but Pein lifted his head in interest. "What is a 'phone book'?" he asked skeptically.

Joshua held it up to show Pein. "It's a book, arranged in alphabetical order by last name and it lists the phone numbers of all the people. So if we ever need to call someone but don't know their number, we can just look it up by finding their name."

Hidan narrowed his gaze on Joshua. "You can find _anyone_'s number?"

Joshua nodded as Arlene went to pour some soda. Hidan grabbed the book from Joshua's hands and began flipping through the pages, stopping periodically to inspect a page, then grunting in disapproval and continuing to flip through.

Joshua continued to his room to get his chess set for Itachi and Pein who showed no interest in video games. Sasori disappeared into "his" room once again as he found the antics of virtual worlds "preposterous", however, everyone knew that he was using the small television set in there to watch puppet shows. Tobi didn't want to play, but was interested in watching and being the cheering section, and Deidara agreed to play once Joshua mentioned the need of a skilled bomber.

Arlene set the sodas – one with a straw so Tobi could get to it through his mask – on the end table by the couch and Joshua passed the board game to the Akatsuki leader. Hidan growled. "I thought you said you could find anyone in this book."

Arlene merely passed him a questioning look.

"I can't find Jashin anywhere."

Arlene cast a panicked look to Joshua who was quick to come up with a solution. Joshua gently took the book from Hidan. "Well, you see, Hidan, sometimes people use this book for pure evil and make prank phone calls to people. This causes the receivers of those calls to pay a fee to have their phone number changed and removed from the bo-"

"Foolishness! Jashin could just kill anyone stupid enough to prank call him."

"Yes, but there are also other people, like _celebrities_," Joshua put extra emphasis on the word in hopes to sway Hidan, "who also pay to have their number removed so that lesser beings don't interrupt their busy schedules."

Hidan thought for a moment before nodding. "I suppose that makes sense. Jashin is very busy."

As Hidan retracted his scrutiny from Joshua, the dark haired man looked to Arlene and made a face as if to say _I can't believe he bought that_.

Arlene laughed and when Hidan looked at her, she nudged him with the bowl of chips. "Come kill people with us," she said before placing the chips on the table next to the sodas.

Hidan's eyes lit up with excitement. "I can make sacrifices?"

Arlene nodded. "Limitless sacrifices."

Joshua and Arlene allowed a few practice rounds to give Hidan and Deidara time to understand the controls. Once they were ready, Joshua set the difficulty level to _Advanced_ and everyone chose their players. Of course, Arlene being spazzy in a way that made her _have_ to play as Ellis, Deidara was left with Rochelle while Joshua was Coach and Hidan played as Nick.

As they all grabbed their weapons, Joshua laid out the game plan in hopes that Arlene could follow the simple orders of "Do not die", but with her ADD, that cause was lost before it ever fully existed, for she had already run into a dark room in search of, as she described it, "things" and was being attacked by two zombies. Deidara hurried in after her and supplied a round of bullets to the torsos of each zombie.

Tobi clapped and cheered on Deidara after his selfless rescue. Joshua led the group through the burning building and out to the ledge. They followed quickly and made it into the next room. Once everyone had come in through the window, Joshua spoke, "Okay, don't go out there ye-".

Too late. Arlene had opened the door and was being attacked by a Hunter. Tobi shrieked. "Save her, Sempai!"

Deidara moved to go help Arlene, but a long tongue stretched into the room, wrapped around Rochelle, and pulled Deidara out into the hallway. Hidan acted quickly and shot the Hunter in the head then helped Arlene up from incapacitation, guarding her while she used a med-pack and Joshua ran out to save Deidara.

When they were once again safe, Joshua turned to Arlene. "I said don't go out there." Arlene gave Joshua a sheepish grin and a thumbs-up, causing Joshua to sigh. "Nevermind. Let's keep going. Stay close together."

It wasn't much longer before their guns ran out of ammunition and everyone switched out their firearms for something else. Hidan, no surprise, chose an axe he found near a broken door. Arlene picked up a frying pan from a stove. Joshua found a chainsaw somewhere and Hidan led Deidara to a baseball bat inside a closet.

"Hey, guys, come to me. There's Molotovs and bile in this room," Joshua informed and his three teammates flocked into the small room for the goods.

Arlene and Deidara picked up the Molotovs and Hidan took some bile while Joshua was already equipped with a pipe bomb, which Deidara had _finally_ stopped complaining about. They continued down a hallway that was quiet all except for a few lingering zombies, which Hidan quickly "sacrificed". No one was surprised that he was disgustingly accurate with the axe.

As they tried not to alert the horde, the sound of a girl crying reached their in-game ears. The crying grew louder and louder as they neared the end of the corridor. Their only option was to go down the stairs behind the large metal door. Joshua instructed his squad to turn off their flashlights. After they had obeyed, Joshua opened the door and crept into the stairwell, Arlene close behind him, Deidara and Hidan close behind her.

There, at the turn in the stairs stood the girl with long hair, sobbing. Tobi made a sound of sympathy. "Why is the girl sad? Did she lose her mommy?"

Arlene glanced over her shoulder at Tobi. "Don't be fooled, Tobes," she said, using her new nickname for him, "that bitch is pure evil."

"How are we going to do this?" Joshua asked.

Arlene poked her head around Hidan's broad shoulder. "We have Deidara," she reminded him. When Joshua raised a confused eyebrow, Arlene nodded to Deidara. "Dei, throw your Molotov at her."

To her amazement, Deidara complied without questioning what the consequences would be. Then again, he was a first time player and using him as witch bait wasn't going to be hard. The Molotov landed in front of the girl and burst into flames, setting her alight as well. She screamed and spun around as a warning message popped up on the screen: _Rochelle has startled the witch_.

The witch began flailing her arms and ran past Coach and Ellis, going straight for Rochelle. Deidara fell to the floor, being burned and sliced by the witch. Tobi yelped and covered his mask hole with his hands. "What the hell is this?" Deidara growled.

Ellis began bashing the witch with his frying pan and Nick hit her with the axe. When she didn't die at his first blow, Hidan hesitated. "Why won't this heathen die?"

"Move," Joshua ordered and sliced into her with his chainsaw.

The witch fell to the ground, dead and Arlene laughed. "You're going to get me killed!" Deidara complained. "You knew that was going to happen!"

Arlene rolled her eyes. "Quit bitching, your incapacitated, not dead."

Joshua helped Deidara to his feet and waited while Deidara healed himself with his med-pack. "I can't believe you used me as bait! You could have at least told me she was going to swear bloody murder on me! What kind of teamwork is that?"

Pein's deep, monotone voice sounded from his chess match against Itachi. "Deidara…you should know…blow a bitch up and she's going to kill you."

Hidan laughed and Deidara huffed. "Come on," Joshua said, breaking the tension. "The safe house is up ahead. Guns and med-packs."

Inside the safe house, Hidan and Joshua used their med-packs to heal before they picked up new ones. Deidara and Arlene re-equipped and everyone, except for Hidan, traded their objects for firearms. Arlene took a shotgun, Deidara took a hunting rifle and Joshua grabbed himself a rifle with a scope.

Arlene tested out her new shotgun by shooting a zombie in the face through the metal bars on the door. Hidan couldn't help but grin when her heard her girly giggle over shooting something. He stood behind her in wait, while Joshua refilled his ammunition.

"Okay, just let me grab this bottle of pi-"Arlene opened the safe house door and Tobi hollered as she was immediately attacked by a Hunter. Hidan acted fast, chopping at its head with his axe. Arlene merely laughed. Joshua glared at her. "I wasn't ready yet."

"I'm sorry! All I heard was 'okay' so I opened the door and the thing was just…there."

Joshua sighed. "Fine…well…let's go."

They set out, leaving the safe house and wandering out onto a street. When all seemed quiet, they moved forward to make quick work of the lingerers. Joshua instructed everyone to keep to the right while heading for the building at the end of the street.

Naturally, Arlene either didn't hear him or didn't know right from left. She headed left, not paying attention to where her teammates were. Suddenly, she spotted a Smoker standing on top of a shed, but it was too late. He'd already nabbed her and was dragging her. Dangling from a building, she called out for help.

Deidara ran towards her, firing at the Smoker when a warning popped up on the screen: _Rochelle has alerted the horde._ "Dammit!" Deidara whined and began trying to fend off the rush of oncoming zombies.

"Still dying!" Arlene yelled, watching helplessly as Ellis was strangled and the horde moved in on the others.

Hidan spun in circles, swinging his axe shouting, "Sacrifices! Sacrifices for you my Lord!"

Joshua rolled his eyes and butted back the nearest zombie. Quickly, he looked through his scope, took aim at the Smoker and shot it down. Arlene was free from the Smoker but still surrounded by the horde. Joshua took note of her low health and looked for the best solution to her survival until she could heal. He spotted Nick, who was doing surprisingly well with his axe. "Go to Hidan. Whatever you do, do not leave his side."

"Got it," Arlene said as she ran for Hidan and his madness.

Pein, while still playing chess through all the noise, quietly kept his eye on Joshua. The young man seemed to have a natural feel for leadership. His mind was quick in tight situations and always seemed to know just what to do. This young man had some potential.

Itachi noticed Pein's not-so-obvious distraction, but couldn't tell exactly who he was watching. Itachi had been listening himself, and by the sounds of it, Arlene needed some help. She couldn't see things as fast as the others around her. Even from this virtual world, Itachi could tell her eyes weren't up to par. Should she have been wearing glasses?

A loud thundering of footsteps made Arlene panic. She turned to look behind Nick. A Tank was running straight for them. "Tank!" she yelled and threw her Molotov at it. Direct hit. The Tank went up in flames, but it didn't slow it down any. It was on fire and coming straight for her and Hidan. "Flaming Tank," she warned Hidan. "Run!"

Hidan, knowing that he couldn't get close enough to the Tank to do any damage with his axe, tried to be helpful and stayed close, chopping at zombies that got too close to Arlene as she shot at the Tank while running backwards. When it was dead, Arlene ran to help Joshua.

Joshua was fighting for his life against the horde and Deidara, not wanting to be the victim of another flaming infected, ducked into a doorway. As soon as he did, he saw _Rochelle has startled the witch_ flicker on the screen right before he saw the freakish girl come at him.

"Oh, for shit's sake!" he yelled, uncharacteristically. "Hidan," he begged, calling for help just as the tank died.

Hidan hurried over to Deidara to try and help him. Before he could get to the witch, he stopped to battle against numerous members of the horde that were running at Joshua's back. Finally, he made it to Deidara and sliced at the witch, killing her quickly. Deidara was not thankful.

"You idiot! What took you so long! Why'd you have to stop and help him for? He's got help already!"

Hidan growled. "Well you shouldn't have been a fucking coward and run away!"

"It's not my fault I can't trust you guys!"

Hidan's temper quickly got a hold of him and he swung his axe at the incapacitated Rochelle. Deidara quickly responded by firing his handgun at Nick who, in his weakened state, dropped to the ground after five hits from Rochelle.

Caught in their tempers, Hidan and Deidara lay on the ground shooting each other while Tobi begged them to stop. Arlene and Joshua ran towards them to try and help them up, but just as they reached the debilitated pair, Arlene was jumped by a Hunter and Joshua was strangled by a Smoker.

"What?" Joshua yelled in disbelief. He began button mashing in a desperate attempt to free himself from the smoker and save the others.

Arlene, on the other hand, realized that it was now hopeless. She turned to Hidan and scowled. "We're all gonna die now!" she hollered and dug her fingers into his smooth hair before rubbing back and forth, causing his neat, silver locks to become a rumpled mess.

Hidan silently turned his attention to her and leveled her with a stare so fierce, Chuck Norris himself would be proud. Arlene froze on the spot before grinning crookedly and flattening his hair out. As soon as she did, he turned back to the screen to continue his shoot out with Deidara, stopping only when the screen turned black and red text popped up, reading _YOU ARE DEAD!_

Pein, who had paused in his battle of intellect, stared at the group, the quietest opinion escaping his lips. "Interesting…"


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: Neither Drake nor I own any Naruto characters. We own Joshua and Arlene and future characters owned by us will be noted**

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><p>It was just after dinner and Arlene had tucked the last plate into the dish rack, where the soap bubbles slid down the smooth surface and then dripped onto the tray beneath that would lead it back to the sink. Tobi had begged to help do the dishes, just like any child who didn't yet understand that chores were meant to burden, but Pein had decided that he would only break more dishes than he dried and refused him.<p>

Arlene suggested Deidara take Tobi's place tonight, but Itachi pointed out that his hands would only be licking the plates, making them dirty again. Itachi and Pein were too busy reading encyclopaedias and Pein had agreed that Joshua should be researching how to get them back home. Sasori was a prick and Itachi felt that it was still too soon to let him near Arlene, which made Joshua wonder why he was always so concerned for her well-being. He understood that she was the glue that was keeping them all alive right now, as recent events had made clear, but something still didn't make sense about it.

And so, it was up to Hidan to aid Arlene in the cleaning of the dishes and the kitchen after dinner. After much complaining and swearing, Hidan had finally stood in the kitchen, simply waiting for Arlene to instruct him on what to do. It was a whole new game for Hidan, but he had managed to survive this far and was nearing the end of his sentence.

He picked up a pot from the draining rack as Arlene lay in the last plate from the sink. He watched her in the reflection of the window that peered out into the darkening sky as evening began receding into night. Toweling the metal cooking bowl dry, he simply watched.

Arlene fought to suppress the chills that had been running up and down her spine since dinner was over. She couldn't shake the feeling that someone was watching her but couldn't figure out who. Sasori was watching television, like always, Joshua was in his room, Pein and Itachi were reading and Deidara and Tobi had gone out into the yard so that the aforementioned Akatsuki could read in peace.

That only left Hidan, but every time she peeked at him out of the corner of her eye, he was merely staring out the window, bearing his signature smirk. He'd been quiet since they'd started the dishes and she couldn't figure out if that was good or bad, but seeing as Pein made no issue of it, she assumed that is was normal for him to be quiet _sometimes_. But even so, part of her still felt that maybe he was truly upset about her touching his hair. Some guys could be like that.

Joshua sat in his room, in front of his computer. He'd been researching and researching and coming up with nothing. For a moment he even considered going to the public library but then quickly brushed the idea aside. It was a small library and mostly held fictional novels. As far as resources went, the internet would be most useful to him.

Joshua leaned back in his chair, stretching his long arms above his head. He allowed his chair to lean back ever so slightly but suddenly, it leaned back farther than he expected, causing him to jolt forward as the feeling of falling encircled him. His feet slammed into the floor as he was once again sitting upright. False alarm. Damn, he hated it when that happened. It never mattered if he was alone or with someone, it was always embarrassing when that happened.

Staring out his window, Joshua's thoughts strayed off to other things. Video games, a new book to read, watching a movie, perhaps; but his attention was retrieved by something flying by his window. Standing, he moved toward his window and opened the curtains a little wider, peering out into the sunset before looking down into the yard.

There, he spotted Tobi and Deidara playing catch with a yellow tennis ball. Deidara seemed bored and annoyed, as usual, but Tobi was very enthusiastic and Joshua couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of his cartoon like sprint.

It was then that Joshua had a slow forming notion. Tobi…was he not Madara? Madara…was he not powerful? Surely, Madara wasn't merely sitting around waiting and relying on someone else to get him home to carry out his plans. What was he really doing at night when he was out in the living room? Maybe he had been working on a jutsu that could get them home…but now that Pein and Hidan were here…

Pein had been sleeping in the same room as Itachi, though whether or not they were sharing a bed, Joshua neither knew nor wanted to know. But that wasn't the point. Hidan was sleeping in the living room on the floor…Madara wouldn't be able to work on a jutsu with Hidan sleeping right there. If Madara really was making use of his time alone…Arlene could have just ruined everything in her fighting attempt to one-up the elder Uchiha brother.

Joshua almost felt like crying at that idea, but his thoughts were broken by a loud _Bing_ that rang out from his computer speakers. Turning away from the window, he approached the machine and stared at the task alert on his screen. Tomorrow was going to be the day that the older folk of the town would start receiving their monthly pension cheques and various other payments. That meant it would be a busy week for him and Arlene.

Leaving his room and padding his way to the kitchen, Joshua stopped at the entrance. He took quick note of the occupants and their positions in relation to him. "Arlene," he said, firmly, causing her to turn around from wiping down the stove. "Do you know what tomorrow is?"

Arlene thought for a moment. "Monday?"

Joshua raised an eyebrow at her then shook his head. "Yes, but cheques start coming in tomorrow. We're going to have work to do."

Arlene inhaled slowly. "Oh, yeah. I forgot." She looked down at herself. Her top was wrinkly and far too big and her jeans were having a hard time staying up and rolled upward where they reached her ankles. Her eyes widened as she returned her gaze to Joshua. "I'm going to have to go home!"

Pein and Itachi whipped their heads around. "What?" Pein said.

"You can't go anywhere," Itachi said. "You're supposed to be a prisoner."

"And you have to cook," Hidan added from his laying position on the couch. He was clearly tired from cleaning.

Arlene let out a soft laugh. "Not to stay. I need to get some clothes. I can't go to work in Joshua's clothes."

Pein tilted his head. "You work?"

Arlene looked at Joshua and he knew she was fighting the urge to say _D'uh_. She looked back at Pein. "Well yeah. We have to get money somehow. Food and clothes cost money. And we aren't exactly into the practice of stealing."

Pein frowned at her. "When it comes to theft, the level of pettiness versus respectability is measured by the necessity of the steal. Given that you live in a world where everything you need to survive is at your fingertips, I would expect that you acquire your needs honestly. To steal something when there is more than enough to go around is just…dishonorable."

Arlene eyed Pein, quietly. She eyed him in a way that made Joshua nervous. He wasn't exactly sure what she was going to say to him. She merely trailed her eyes from the tips of his pointy hair to his toes and back up.

Pein squinted at her slightly. "What?"

Arlene offered him a gentle but thoughtful smile. "It's nice to see that there is someone else here who gazes into the grey areas of life rather than focusing on the black and white. I respect that."

Pein lifted his head and gave her a sharp nod. Joshua's jaw began to grow slack as it came close to plummeting to the floor, but he caught it just in time. Itachi smirked at her and returned to his book. Sasori turned his wooden head. "You are a fool child. There is no grey. There is only black and white. Life and death."

Arlene retorted. "And what about you, Sasori of the Red Sand. A shell of the boy you once were. Existing inside a coffin shaped to your formal self; neither living nor dead…I think you're about as grey as it gets."

Sasori stared blankly at the girl as Hidan let out a loud laugh. "She's got you there, sucker!"

Joshua turned his head away from Sasori as he couldn't force back this smile that crept to his lips. He couldn't help but feel a stabbing pride for his friend who was always quick to consider other people's beliefs but never waver on her own. Her faith was strong…and in that moment he realized…that's what she saw in Hidan.

No matter how many people told Hidan he was wrong or belittled his god, the Jashinist never let anyone sway him. He knew what he believed in and would follow it to the end of the earth. In that way, they were very much alike.

Pein cleared his throat to break the tension. "Hidan, you will accompany Arlene to her home to retrieve her clothing."

"Aw, man, more chores? Babysitting? I'm too fucking tired. Get someone else to do it."

Pein opened his mouth to tell off Hidan, but Itachi rose to his feet. "I'll go with her," he stated firmly, letting Pein know that he didn't want an argument over it.

Pein nodded approval to the Uchiha. Joshua shifted. "Can I go, too?"

Pein looked at Joshua. "Shouldn't you be researching?"

"I have been. I'm not coming up with anything."

Itachi moved past Joshua to pull his cloak out of the closet. "You'll stay, Joshua. I need to converse with the girl, anyway."

Arlene cast Itachi a droll stare. "I have a name."

Itachi cocked his head. "As do I. In fact, everyone here has a name."

Hidan let out another laugh from the living room and Arlene smirked at Itachi. "Uchiha's got some cheeky in him," she laughed. She pulled her own coat from the closet and dug her car keys from its pocket.

"Drive safe," Joshua said as the two walked out the front door.

When they were gone, Pein's voice rang loud in Joshua's head, nearly causing him to jump. _You're not worried about her?_

Joshua shook his head. "When it comes to her, I can trust Itachi."

"What?" Sasori asked.

Joshua realized that he'd spoken out loud and only Pein knew that his statement was a reply to someone else's question. Joshua cleared his throat. "Nothing," he said quickly. "I'm gonna go research some more."

As Itachi and Arlene made their way to her car, Arlene glanced over her shoulder. "So what did you want to 'converse' about?" she asked then stopped to unlock the driver side door.

Without words, Itachi swung his hand up from behind her. He brought the palm of his hand up to the left side of her face but held back any force that would cause her pain on contact. He left his hand to linger less than an inch away from her skin. As he expected, she didn't react. In fact, she showed no acknowledgement of his hand. And so, after waiting a good five seconds, he laid his palm against her cheek, gently, so as not to startle her.

That wasn't much use as she jumped anyway then turned around to look at him with a quizzical stare. "My hand was suspended in the air by your face long enough that your peripheral vision should have spotted it," he informed her. "You showed no knowledge of its presence. You should have flinched, at least."

Arlene sighed. She knew what he was getting at. At least he was being kind enough to not bring it up in front of the others. She used her chin to subtly point to where Deidara and Tobi were playing with a volleyball. "I'll tell you on the drive," she said.

Itachi nodded, accepting her conditions. He walked to the other side of the car and got in, buckling his seat belt. He watched as Arlene waved a quick goodbye to Tobi before she got in the car herself.

Arlene remained quiet until they had made it out to the main road. She glanced sideways at him. "I don't see so well out of that eye anymore."

"I gathered," Itachi said dryly. "I am more interested in why."

Arlene hesitated as she made a left hand turn. "Remember the other day, when we were walking and you used your eyes to see my thoughts?"

"Actually, I was viewing your emotions. It's just a bonus that the emotions are usually connected to thoughts."

"Whatever. The point is, you saw that memory. You saw him bust that bottle over my head, right?"

"Yes."

"Well…when he did that, a piece of the glass got into my left eye. Left a big scratch in there and now…it doesn't work as good as the other one."

"How bad is it?"

Arlene let out a dark chuckle. "You saw yourself. The leftmost of that eye is next to useless. Most of the time I can only see straight ahead with that one."

Itachi remained silently and kept his gaze forward. He watched as they passed numerous houses, most with barren lawns that were muddy and wet looking. The road they were now driving on was not a deep grey like the other roads, but brown. It was bumpy and dusty and reminded him of the countless roads he's walked on when he was in his own world.

Before too long, Arlene had pulled into a short driveway and turned the car off. The left the car and walked toward the small, two-story house. From outside, the upper level seemed dark and void of life, but bright lights shined out the front window of the lower level.

Itachi saw Arlene pause briefly at the door. She turned the knob and let herself in. Itachi followed close behind her, pushing the door shut behind him. The place was small on the inside as well, but spacious. There was a small television set in the corner and an armchair set a few feet back from it.

There was a closed door to the right of them, but Itachi didn't bother asking what was behind it. Straight ahead was a wide doorway, and peering beyond that, Itachi could see the linoleum flooring and a counter. That must have been the kitchen.

A loud grunt rang out from that kitchen and Arlene paused. From around the corner came a man that was resembled the one from Arlene's memory. The only difference was that this man now had a scruffy beard and a large round belly. He leaned against the white frame that separated the kitchen from living room and took a swig from the bottle in his hand, never taking his hooded gaze off of Arlene.

"So, you're back again, you ungrateful whore," he slurred. "Shoulda shipped you off to that boarding school. Maybe you'd be fighting for your country instead of hobbling around this town," Jack paused to burp, "helping the old buggers."

Arlene sighed. "Dad…that's boot camp…not boarding school."

Jack licked his lips and scratched himself. "Whatever," he grunted before shifting his gaze to Itachi. "And who is this?"

Arlene hesitated very briefly. "A friend."

Jack stood up, attempting to appear threatening. He eyed Itachi up and down. "You gonna marry my daughter, boy?"

Arlene rubbed her temple. Itachi didn't answer him. He merely glared and Arlene wished that he wouldn't. She didn't need any reason for her father to get angry. Luckily for her, Jack merely scoffed and stumbled his way back into the kitchen.

Arlene tugged at Itachi's sleeve, signaling him to follow. She didn't bother removing her footwear as she walked across the carpet, headed for the stairway in the corner, not too far from the closed door. It was then that Itachi spotted the large red stain in the beige carpet. His sharp eyes quickly took in the position of the stain and the small trails that signaled a spread. That had been the spot where her father had beaten her. Itachi twitched inwardly. How many times had she walked by that and remembered? Why did they not have it removed?

His thoughts were broken by his own memories. First of himself, then of his brother. He fought them off quickly and focused on following Arlene.

At the top of the stairs, there was no hallway. There was a small area of floor that separated the door on the right of the stairs from the door on the left and another door straight ahead. It was left open and through the darkness, it appeared to be a washroom.

Arlene turned left and opened the door. She stepped into the room, flicking on the light. She moved to the side and waited for Itachi to enter the room before closing the door. She moved to her closet to get her large duffle bag to pack her clothes in.

Itachi stood in front of the door as Arlene pulled clothes from her dresser and her closet and stuffed them all into the bag. He noted the posters of various people that plastered the walls and assumed they must be entertainers. But the wall across from her unmade bed did not hold posters. This wall bore many frames that contained pictures of other people. Some of them held pictures of Arlene and Joshua. Some were of Arlene and her father and some had the image of a woman who looked to be in her early thirties.

He moved forward to inspect the images closer. The woman had brown eyes and honey colored hair. Her more obvious features were nothing like Arlene's, but the smile this woman bore was a striking resemblance to the girl behind him.

Arlene watched as Itachi stared at the photos on her wall. She zipped up her bag then stood next to him. When she figured out which picture he was looking it, she reached out and pulled it off the wall. Itachi looked down at her. "Your mother?"

Arlene merely nodded as she took the picture and tucked it into a smaller pocket on her bag. She silently wondered if Itachi ever yearned for his mother's touch the way she did for her own mother. She looked around the room, to see if there was anything else she should grab while she was here, but finding nothing, she turned to Itachi.

"Ready?" he asked. Arlene nodded and they headed back down the stairs.

Just as they reached the door, Jack's voice called to them. "Hey! You there!" Both Itachi and Arlene turned to face her father once more. He approached them slowly and Arlene tensed up, not sure what to expect. As he came within arm's reach of them, Jack stopped and held a box out to Itachi. "Do what you want, but don't be stupid. I don't wanna be the blame of a single mother when you leave."

Arlene squinted in confusion, not understanding what Jack was talking about…that is until she looked at the box that Itachi accepted from her father and began spluttering. Jack turned and went to flop down on the arm chair.

Itachi looked down at Arlene as she appeared to choke on words. "Oh dear, sweet, gods, no," she gasped and bolted out of the house. Confused, Itachi headed after her and got into the car.

"What's wrong?" he asked, more confused than concerned.

"Uhhhh….nothing. But…I don't know. Just…no."

Itachi looked down at the box in his hand, though it was already too dark to see it. "What is this?"

"Uhhhmmmm…tell you later," Arlene said letting out a slow, calming breath. She remained silent the rest of the way back to Joshua's.

Itachi held the door open as Arlene hefted her duffle bag through the door and used her foot to slide it down the short hallway. As expected, Joshua came around the corner and greeted her. She looked at him and spouted out a string of flustered words that made no sense to anyone at all.

She peered around the wall to let Pein know that she was back and had gotten her clothes. He motioned for her to enter the kitchen where he sat with his book and a fresh cup of coffee. Tobi bounced over to her from the living room to greet her with a hug that lifted her off her feet. She hugged him back and nearly buried her face in his chest when Itachi showed the box to Joshua and said "What is this?"

Joshua looked at Itachi's hand and snorted. "Where did you get those?"

Arlene's hands flew to her hair and she pulled at it in a very stressed manner. Suddenly, all the Akatsuki had gathered around to inspect the box. Itachi pointed to Arlene. "Her father gave them to me."

At that moment, Joshua doubled over and held his sides, howling with laughter. "Jack gave you those? Oh, man, that is rich!" Joshua continued to laugh and Arlene continued to burn a bright red from her cheeks, which caused Hidan to point and laugh at her. "Gather 'round, guys," Joshua said, casting a smug look to his friend as he opened the box and dumped the string of shiny, square wrappers on the table.

Arlene made an attempt to flee the room, but Pein ordered a quick "sit" and Arlene practically fell into a chair as though pushed down by some invisible force. She bent over and tucked her head between her knees, rocking and muttering, "This isn't happening, this isn't happening, oh please, Gods, tell me this isn't happening."

Tobi patted Arlene's back in an attempt to console her but it was no use. Joshua picked up the wrappers and began educating the S ranked criminals. "These, gentlemen, are called condoms."

Arlene let out a loud cry of distress that caused even Pein to flinch.

The lesson was grueling and the purpose of condoms was explained thoroughly to the Akatsuki. There were many jests and inappropriate comments. Hidan had taken one out of the wrapper to inspect it and even Sasori commented on the lubricant being an excellent idea.

When Joshua was done educating the group of men, Tobi kneeled down in front of Arlene and watched her. She sat perfectly still in her emergency position. He turned his head to Deidara. "Did we break her, Sempai?"

Deidara gave a slow now. "I think so, Tobi."

Hidan's loud laugh rumbled through the house, causing Arlene's spine to shudder. She reached out a hand and patted Tobi's head. "My Tobi…my dear, sweet, innocent Tobi…they've corrupted you…" Slowly, she untucked her head from between her knees and turned her head to Pein. Her face was burning hot with embarrassment and torment. "Can I go now?" she whispered, trying to avoid the numerous eyes that were watching her.

Pein quietly gave her permission to leave. He watched as she slinked past Hidan, keeping her distance. She picked up her bag and headed for Joshua's room where she stayed the rest of the night.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: Neither Drake nor I own any Naruto characters. We own Joshua and Arlene and future characters owned by us will be noted.**

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><p>The entire household was dark and silent aside from the sound of the refrigerator humming and the low volume of the television set in Deidara and Sasori's room. Since the events that had taken place in the middle of last week, the only peace the walls of the one story, three bedroom home ever saw was late into the night.<p>

In Joshua's room, he lay on his side, sleeping silently and peacefully, for once. The events that had taken place that evening must have been humorous enough in his eyes to relax him. On the floor next to his bed, Arlene slept on her stomach, one arm tossed above over the side of the mattress and the thick blanket pulled up over her head.

It would have been the perfect night, but suddenly, a loud, high pitched, blood curdling scream rang out through the darkness. Within mere seconds, the entire household was awake, on their feet and rushing to the living room to inspect the noise. Arlene and Joshua ran out his door at the same time, causing them to become stuck.

"Oh, for fuck's sakes," Arlene snarled. "What is this, a cartoon?"

Joshua mumbled something groggily then pulled himself backwards into his room at the same time Arlene pushed herself forward. This caused her to go flying out of his room at the same time Itachi flowed down the hall and Pein stumbled out of the door across the hall. Arlene crashed into the towering man with enough force to knock them both back into his room.

Joshua let out a short, tired laugh before leaving them and following Itachi to the living room, where the scream seemed to renew with the arrival of every Akatsuki member. When he got there, he saw a small figure stumbling around the living room, backing away from Tobi who kept inching closer with his hands up, trying to insist that he wasn't going to hurt the figure.

Joshua reached around Deidara's shoulder and flicked on the lamp so he could see who was in his house. His breath caught in his throat as he laid eyes on a young girl, no older than seven or eight, with large brown eyes and long brown hair. She was dressed in purple Disney princess pyjamas but wore a red cowboy hat on her head.

The girl looked at him when the light came on and tears welled in her eyes. "Joshy!" she hollered and he hurried forward to scoop her up in his arms.

"Stop screaming, Rachel, it's okay. I promise, it's okay." He made that promise, but a very small piece of him wasn't sure how the group of Akatsuki was going to react to the girl.

"Yeah," Tobi tried to help. "Tobi won't hurt you. Tobi is a good boy."

Rachel buried her face in Joshua's shoulder, crying. As Joshua looked up he saw Arlene and Pein reach the group of spectators. Arlene squeezed her way between Hidan and Tobi, rubbing her eyes, and her side. "What's going on?" she asked Joshua.

Joshua sighed, still holding the girl, who was quickly calming down. "It's Rachel," he said. "She must have snuck off again."

Rachel turned her head to peek through her long hair. She eyed all the Akatsuki very carefully then spotted Arlene. She giggled. "Your hair looks funny," she said.

Arlene groaned and tried to flatten down her hair that was messy and sticking up from being slept on. Tobi, who was taller than Arlene and also standing next to her, began running his hands over her head, attempting to aid her in making it neater. "Thanks, Tobes," Arlene said quietly.

Joshua pulled the small girl off of him gently. "Rachel, what are you doing here?" The girl merely looked down at her feet and shrugged. Joshua sighed. "Don't give me that baloney," he said sternly. "You ran away again didn't you?"

Rachel huffed and crossed her arms. "Well Mom wouldn't late me stay up late to watch Transformers!"

Joshua used his palm to apply pressure to his temple where the headache was forming. "D'uh, Rach, it's a school night."

Rachel avoided eye contact and turned to inspect all the Akatsuki. "Well, school night or not, never mind what _I'm_ doing here. What are _they_ doing here?" she demanded.

Deidara tilted his head. "Un? You know us, then?"

"Yeah, I watch Naruto, too." Pein growled at the mention of the nine-tailed Jinchuuriki. When no one answered, Rachel looked to the only other female in the house. "Well, Arlene? Why are they here?"

Joshua sighed. "Rachel, you're being rude. That's my friend, you don't have to snap at her."

Rachel thought about that for a minute then giggled. "Sorry," she said to Arlene.

Arlene yawned. "It's fine. As to why they are here…" her mind scrambled for a simple explanation that the child could grasp and not spread around. "Uh…well they are our friends and they came to visit."

Tobi threw his arms above his head as if to cheer. "Friends!"

"Oh. For how long?" Rachel asked.

"A while," Joshua answered and stood up. "I better call her mother before she sends a search party through the town."

"Yeah," Arlene agreed. "Don't need that happening again."

Joshua stood up and walked past Rachel, through the still staring Akatsuki and made his way to Itachi and Pein's room to use the phone in there since Deidara had destroyed the other one. As he dialed the number to Rachel's house, he made a mental note to replace the phone in the living room.

Out in said room, Arlene flopped down on the couch and Rachel hurried over to sit next to her. "So you and Josh are friends with the Akasy?" she asked, getting the name wrong.

Pein cleared his throat pointedly. "Who is this child?" he asked.

Arlene couldn't tell if Pein was being snobby, if he was uncomfortable or if he was trying to act friendly in the presence of the youngling. "She's Joshua's little cousin." Arlene explained. "She has a nasty habit of running away from home when she doesn't get her way. Usually she shows up here."

"And you didn't think to warn us about this?" Itachi asked, sleepily.

"Honestly, Itachi…I was kind of focused on the more emergent situation of…well…you."

When Arlene returned her attention to Rachel, she was staring at Sasori, who was staring back at her, face blank as always. "You remind me of Pinocchio," Rachel said slowly.

Sasori made no movements or sounds. "Who is that?" he asked, and Arlene could swear his voice was softer than she'd ever heard it before.

Rachel gaped. "You don't know Pinocchio? It's one of the best Disney movies ever. It's really old though, but it's still fun. It's about a little boy puppet who becomes a real boy."

Hidan grunted sleepily. "Like your story, but in reverse," he summarized to Sasori.

Sasori ignored the man. "Sounds interesting," he said. "I'll have to watch it sometime."

Joshua emerged from Itachi's room, running his hand through his hair. "Okay…so…her mother said to keep her here for tonight and send her to school in the morning," he informed, speaking more to Arlene than Pein.

Rachel bounced up and down on the couch. "Yay! Sleepover! We can stay up late and watch movies and have popcorn and play games!"

"Yay," Tobi cheered with her.

Joshua cast Rachel a droll stare. "Or, you can go to bed so you can go to school in the morning and Arlene and I can go to work."

Rachel pouted. "No fun!"

Pein turned to look at Joshua. "Where will the child sleep?"

The room went silent. Arlene yawned, offering the first solution that crossed her mind. "She can sleep in my bed. I'll sleep in the armchair out here."

"Are you sure?" Joshua asked.

"Guess so."

"Then it's settled," Pein confirmed. "Now…let's return to slumber, shall we?"

"Yay," Hidan said dryly, smirking at Arlene. "Sleep over! Hey maybe we can try some of those co-"

"Ah-ba-ba-ba-ba!" Arlene shouted, interrupting Hidan. "Not in front of the kid."

"Yeah," Rachel said, pointing her finger at Hidan as Joshua picked her up and carried her off to his room. "Not in front of the kid!"

Deidara laughed as Hidan stared at the kid, blinking. The rest of the Akatsuki returned to their sleeping places and Hidan winked at Arlene. "I was actually thinking, once she was gone, ya know? I'm an ass, but I'm not sick."

Arlene glared at him, causing him to laugh. She left the couch so Tobi could lay back down and as she walked to the armchair, she reached down and took Hidan's blanket.

"Hey, what the hell?"

"Karma, bitch," Arlene said simply as she curled up in the armchair and went to sleep.

The following morning, Joshua was the first one up. He'd showered then gone to wake his cousin. As she dressed in his room – Joshua had a whole drawer just for her clothes – the slender, charcoal haired man went to wake Arlene in the living room.

Joshua bit back a chuckle as he noticed that Arlene was sleeping with Hidan's blanket, and Hidan was curled up into a ball to keep warm. Whether she took it from him or he offered it to her, Joshua didn't know, but it was still a sight to see.

As Joshua leaned over Arlene, trying to wake her without making too much noise, Rachel came bouncing down the hallway, singing. "'_Cause you're hot then you're cold, you're yes then you're no. You're in then you're out, you're up then you_-" She stopped when she got to the end of the couch where Tobi was. "Mornin' y'all," she greeted, tipping her cowboy hat.

Arlene sat up and yawned. Hidan growled at being woken up and then stretched. Tobi, however, rolled off the sofa and hopped twice. "Good morning!"

Joshua went to the kitchen to get Rachel the cereal she ate _every_ morning. Corn Pops. As he poured milk over the round, crunchy sugar balls, Alrene cast her gaze down at a shirtless Hidan who was lying on his back using his left arm to cover his eyes.

Arlene smirked to herself then balled up the blanket she stole from him last night, and tossed it at him. He grunted when it landed on his chest and peeked out at her from under his arm. Arlene knew he was grumpy, but couldn't hold back a grin at the sweetness of the sight. Fatigue could make even the most merciless men come across as soft and kitteny.

Arlene gave one last stretch before she pulled herself to her feet and went to the kitchen to make fried eggs, hashbrowns and toast. She turned on the stove and set the eggs on the counter and dug around for a spatula while Joshua made a pot of coffee.

Hidan got up and went to sit at the table and Tobi skipped into the kitchen. "Can Tobi help?"

As Arlene finished pouring frozen potatoes into a separate pan and dropping in some canned corned beef, she nodded. "Yep, you can start making toast."

Slowly, the rest of the Akatsuki began to emerge from their rooms and squeeze chairs around the table. Sasori was the only one who didn't leave his room. As Arlene set out plates – Pein groggily thanking her – Rachel stared across the table at Hidan who was leaning his head back, staring at the ceiling and still shirtless.

"You're Hidan, right?" Rachel asked.

Hidan lifted his head just enough to make sure she was talking to him. "Yeah," he grunted.

Rachel looked to Arlene who was now passing out forks and knives while Tobi buttered the toast. "Arlene, is Hidan the one you kept saying was sexy?"

The entire kitchen boomed with laughter and lit up with whistles and cheers – even Itachi and Pein were clapping and whooping. Arlene froze on the spot, her face taking on the appearance of a cherry. She tried so hard not to look at Hidan, but she could already feel his smug grin.

Joshua laughed and turned to Rachel, "When did you hear her say that?" he asked and Arlene looked at him, mortified that he was enabling Rachel instead of helping to diffuse the situation and save the woman some dignity.

"I heard you guys talking in the room one time when me and mom were visiting. Joshy…what's 'sexy' mean?"

Joshua laughed nervously. "Um…it means very beautiful," he said, hoping that would satisfy the child.

"Oh," Rachel said. Just as the laughter and humiliation started to die out, Rachel smiled up at Arlene. "I think _you're_ sexy, Arlene!" Joshua's cousin was sweet, and she meant well, but she really knew how to put Arlene on the spot.

"Yeah!" Tobi agreed. "Tobi thinks Arlene is sexy, too!" he hollered, waving a butter knife in the air.

Laughter took hold of the room once more and Arlene sat in an empty chair next to Deidara, entering her emergency position just as she had last night. Joshua chuckled and turned off the stove before he began serving everyone their eggs and hashbrowns while Tobi set a large stack of toast – basically an entire loaf of bread – on the table.

Joshua instructed Rachel to go brush her teeth and hair and then go wait outside for the school bus. When she left, Arlene got up and removed Rachel's dishes from the table so Tobi could sit down and eat. She cast a peeved glare at each man, individually, trying to hide her embarrassment. "It's just one thing after another with you guys, huh?" She offered these words as a statement more than a question.

Joshua glanced at the clock. "Probably start getting calls in about an hour," he noted.

As Arlene sat down to join them for the morning meal, Pein wiped his mouth with a napkin. "What are your jobs, anyway?" he inquired.

Joshua answered. "We buy groceries for old people. That's the simplest and truest way to put it."

"How do you make profit doing that?"

Joshua took a bite of toast. "Well, in this world, when a person reaches a certain age, they can retire from their job. That's when the government or the place they worked for starts sending them cheques to replace the income they made when they were working."

"So they get paid to do nothing?" Pein asked.

"Not exactly. Most jobs deduct a certain amount of your pay from each cheque and set it aside for when you retire. There's more to it, but it's too complicated for me to explain."

Arlene sipped at her glass of milk. "Anyway, most of the elder folk around here don't have transportation to do their own shopping and their own families are too busy working or just being jerks to help them out and take them to buy food. That's where we come in. These people decide how much money they want to spend on food, write up a list of what foods they want and Joshua and I do their shopping for them."

Pein looked at her. "I still don't understand where your profit comes in. How do you and Joshua benefit from this?"

Arlene shrugged. "We charge them fifty dollars per household. We get enough clients to make what we need to buy our own food and clothing."

"Interesting," Itachi added. "You acquire your essential needs by supplying other people's essentials to them."

"That's basically it," Joshua agreed as he waved goodbye to Rachel on her way out the door. "The week the cheques arrive in the mail, we are usually really busy and do about five grocery runs each in a day. The second week, it starts to die down as they all have what they need and most calls are only for restock on some other things, in which case, we charge according to how much they need. That's usually twenty to thirty dollars."

"And," Arlene added, "the week between that and when they get their next cheque, we usually get no business at all. That's why we haven't worked since you all arrived. No one had any money or needed us to get them anything."

"Do you make a lot of profit?" Pein asked.

Arlene shrugged. "About two thousand dollars a month."

"Each," Joshua added.

"Holy fuck," Hidan said.

Pein eyed Hidan. "Maybe," he said to Hidan before turning to Joshua. "Is two thousand dollars a lot in this world?"

It was Joshua's turn to shrug. "Depends on how you spend it. Some people are careless and don't pay attention to sales or the cost of what they're buying. Sometimes they see a small bag of sugar for five dollars and think it's a good deal and they don't notice that the bag of sugar twice the size doesn't cost twice the price. Therefore, in the long run, buying the larger bag would actually save you money."

Arlene patted Joshua on the shoulder. "Good job, young grasshopper. I have taught you well."

The heavily pierced Akatsuki looked questioningly between Joshua and Arlene. Joshua spotted this and offered an explanation. "It's a running joke between us. But she said it because she's the one who taught me how to manage my financials and make it last as long as I need it to, or longer. She's pretty good with numbers…if you ever need to replace Kakuzu, she'd be the one to go to," Joshua laughed.

"Really," Hidan said, eyeing Arlene. "You don't act like Kakuzu."

Arlene rolled her eyes. "That's because I'm not Kakuzu."

After they had cleaned up from breakfast, Arlene had showered and dressed while Joshua was in Itachi's room, taking calls from clients. By the time ten o'clock had rolled around, Arlene and Joshua were standing at the dividing counter. Joshua stood in the living room and Arlene stood in the kitchen. They each had a pen and a pad of paper as they looked over a list of names and addresses together, dividing the clients by location to make the task easier.

Sasori was watching Deidara play _Left 4 Dead 2_ with Hidan and Tobi, who kept accidentally shooting them. "Sorry, Sempai! Tobi didn't mean to."

Pein approached the counter where his host and hostess were. Looking at them carefully he spoke. "You realize, someone is going to have to escort each of you," he said.

Arlene and Joshua paused then looked up at each other in horror as they each had their own horrific flashback of what happened the last time they went to the store with Akatsuki in their midst.

Joshua turned his head to Pein. "Last time your men came to the store with us, Itachi used Tsukiyomi on a child."

"And Deidara licked everything," Arlene added. "He wouldn't even wear gloves."

"Why would I wear gloves?" Deidara argued from the couch. "They'd just get all wet."

Arlene half sighed and half groaned. Pein straightened his cloak. "We will make other arrangements then. Itachi," he said, turning to the long haired Uchiha. "You will maintain things here. Joshua, you will be accompanied by myself and Arlene, you will be accompanied by-"

Arlene rested her head in her hands. "Please say Tobi, please say Tobi, please say Tobi," she muttered to herself.

"Hidan," Pein finished.

"Shit!" Arlene yelled before she could stop herself. When Joshua snorted at her, her face turned red.

Hidan huffed from the armchair where Arlene had slept that night. "Well, that wasn't very nice. I let you use my blanket last night and you don't even wanna go shopping with me? That's just fucking lovely."

Arlene rolled her eyes at him. "You wouldn't like shopping; you have to wear a shirt. And I _took_ the blanket from you."

Hidan chuckled as he slashed at a jockey that was riding Tobi and making him yelp. "Princess, I'm an S ranked missing nin. Don't you think I could have taken that blanket back if I wanted to?"

Arlene shifted uncomfortably, watching the back of his head as she realized he spoke the truth. He could have very easily taken that blanket back from her. Even after she fell asleep, he could have just pulled it out of her arms and yet he didn't. Arlene suddenly felt very shy and very bad. "You're right, Hidan," she said softly, respecting him even more. "I'm sorry."

Hidan shifted so he could turn his head to look at her. "Well ya don't gotta be all upset about it. It's not like I cried."

Arlene let out a burst of laughter then nodded to him and he went back to his game."

Joshua leaned on the counter and turned to face Pein. "I have another concern," he said slowly.

"Speak," Pein encouraged.

"Last time _you_ went out in public, you almost got manhandled by a fanboy."

"Was it you?" Arlene jested. Suddenly Pein and Joshua both went very quiet and avoided eye contact with each other. Arlene frowned in suspicion. "What happened?" she asked, dragging the question out.

"Nothing," Joshua said a little too quickly. "Derek showed up and thought Pein was a cosplayer and went all fanboy on him."

Arlene laughed. "Derek's a tool."

"Yes," Joshua agreed. He turned back to Pein, "Anyway, I was thinking maybe you and Hidan should wear some clothes from this world…and not your cloaks."

"To what end?" Pein asked.

Joshua shifted his weight to his other foot. "I realize you and Hidan are strong enough to handle a horde of fans who might try to put the moves on you-" Hidan snorted,"- but I just think we can prevent drawing attention to ourselves, and to you, if you dressed in local attire."

Pein eyed Joshua. This man was, again, proving to be worthy of a leadership role. Joshua was thinking of things that even Pein himself hadn't considered. This man could be both an asset and a threat to the Akatsuki leader.

Pein nodded. "Very, well. What clothes shall we wear?"

Joshua left Arlene to continue sorting the client list and led Pein to his parents' room. He dug through his dad's drawers and closet and passed Pein a change of clothing. "You're thinner than my father, but a little taller, so it should fit okay."

Pein called Hidan in to get his clothing and soon, Arlene and Joshua were ready to be escorted to fulfill their duties.

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><p><strong>Rachel's presence and character was supplied by Loki7744. Thank you so much for offering such a wonderful idea, you can bet we will be seeing much more of this girl in chapters to come!<strong>


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: Neither Drake nor I own any Naruto characters. We own Joshua, Arlene and Marissa and future characters owned by us will be noted. Rachel is owned by Loki 7744  
><strong>

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><p>Arlene sat in the driver's seat of the vehicle as Joshua occupied the passenger seat next to her. She tapped her fingers on the steering wheel in time with the music that was playing from the car stereo.<p>

Joshua flipped through the list of names, double checking everything as they drove across town. The sun was out and shining bright today. Being allergic to sunlight sucked big time. Even on the hottest days, if Joshua wanted to leave the house, he had to wear long pants and long sleeves, sometimes even a hat or a hood. He walked around looking like a stereotypical ninja who had everything covered except for his eyes while everyone else was in shorts or tank tops. But all the same, Joshua had a job to do.

They always started at the furthest house and worked their way in. They'd collect all the names from the calls in the morning, and then drive to everyone's house to collect lists and money. They'd shop for two households at once, splitting up and meeting back at the car when they were ready so they could return with the groceries and collect their fee.

Pein sat behind Joshua and stared at the back of the headrest, hands folded neatly in his lap. He simply watched to see where they were going and noted every turn Arlene made. Arlene seemed to be much more relaxed behind the wheel than Joshua had been a few nights ago.

Hidan stared at his lap, glancing up to peer out the window every once in a while. He'd never been in one of these machines like Pein, Itachi and Deidara. He wasn't sure what to expect. All he knew was that this motor vehicle was large, heavy and going really fast. It could be disaster if Arlene lost control or another vehicle, perhaps one bigger, collided into them. Sure, he'd live. He was immortal, after all. But he'd live in pieces. Kakuzu wasn't here to put him back together again. Suddenly, Hidan found himself actually missing his quiet, irritable comrade.

Arlene finally pulled into a long driveway and stopped outside a small, white house. Pein swept the outside of the house with his eyes, though he wasn't really sure what he was looking for. Either way, the house looked quiet and dank. The white siding at the corners of the house was turning brown, the roof was missing some shingles and one of the windows had plastic in it instead of glass. Pein couldn't imagine himself living in a place like that.

Arlene exited the vehicle and Hidan followed her. They walked up the chipped concrete walkway and knocked on the beat up door. Almost instantly, an elderly woman opened the door and invited them into the house.

Looking around at the neighboring houses, Pein realized that most of them looked just as old and unkempt as the one Arlene and Hidan were in. Pein was suddenly thankful that, even though he was in this place against his will and didn't know how to get back, the house he was staying in was warm and cozy. Not to mention that he could feel the undeniable warmth that emitted from the young woman and the concern for all occupants of the house that Joshua fought so hard to hide. It was something that Pein hadn't experienced in years; it was a home.

Before long, the silver haired Jashinist emerged from the house, Arlene following behind him. Pein could see Hidan was speaking on the way back to the car, something that made Arlene smile, but couldn't tell what was being said. When they entered the car, Pein turned his gaze to Hidan who was putting on his seatbelt. "What did you say?"

"Huh?" Hidan all but grunted as he looked up at Pein. "I didn't say anything."

"On the way back to the car, you spoke to Arlene. What did you say?"

Hidan frowned at Pein. "You're awful nosey, ya know that? It's gonna get you into trouble someday."

Joshua chuckled at the idea of Hidan lecturing Pein. Both Akatsuki watched Joshua as if waiting for an explanation. Joshua glanced over his shoulder at them then looked out the window beside him as Arlene pulled out of the driveway.

Pein turned back to Hidan. "Well?"

Hidan growled low from his throat as though he was angry that he has to answer. "I just said that the little old woman in there reminded me of my mother. That's all. Nothing important."

"Oh," Pein said then went back to watching out the window.

Arlene and Joshua had gone to nine other houses in total to collect money and lists. Now they sat in the parking lot of a large building. They each took an envelope that had a name on it and put it in their jacket pockets and stuffed the rest of the envelopes into the glove compartment.

Pein tilted his head, his curiosity getting the better of him. He cleared his throat then, when Arlene looked up at him – she seemed to understand that he only did that when he was about to speak – he asked her, "Why have you two chosen this line of work?"

Arlene looked at Joshua and they grinned at each other. Arlene looked back to Pein, a strange gleam in her eye. "Honestly…we could have had just about any job this town had to offer. Problem is…we don't like taking orders from people."

Hidan hooted, "Well, guess we screwed that up for you, then."

Joshua chuckled. "At first, yes. But we've come to realize that you and the other Akatsuki are, for the most part, fair. You've even showed gratefulness for some of the things we do. Employers don't care if you go above and beyond the requirements of your job. They'll always find something to pick at and can never just say 'Oh, I wasn't expecting you to do all that, thank you.'"

"Anyway," Arlene said, ending the conversation. "We have work to do. If you two fine gentlemen would join us _outside_ the car, we can get this all done in time for dinner."

Everyone exited the car and Hidan gaped at Arlene. "This is going to take that much time?"

"It could," Arlene nodded, locking the car. "There are a lot of variables to consider, so there's not really any time estimate for how long this will take. The checkout lines could be long, there could be weather setbacks, though today, I doubt it. We could get more calls while we're out here. And,"she added, "we can only shop for two households at a time. So shop, deliver, shop, deliver, repeat. It's a lot of back and forth."

Inside the store, Joshua and Arlene each took a cart and pulled out their list before going their separate ways. Hidan followed Arlene as she weaved in and out of the long aisles and pulled items off the shelf, setting them in the wheeled basket. She'd stop and pull out a pen to put a mark beside the items she'd just gathered then continue down the aisle getting more. This indoor market was amazing. It had everything…and so much of it. There were bottles and boxes and bags and cans. Not that he knew what most of this stuff was, but it still impressed him.

Hidan stayed close to Arlene but tried to stay quiet so she could do her job. He watched all the people in the store. There were older men shopping alone. Older women were shopping alone. Younger men were alone and younger women were alone. Some of them even had small children in the small compartment of the cart that had a buckle.

Finally, after they neared the end of the aisle, Hidan spotted a man and woman on the other side of a large metal freezer, standing in front of packaged meat. Looking closer, Hidan realized that the man had his hand in the woman's back pocket. Why was he doing that? Was that custom behavior of a male and female in public?

Hidan looked at Arlene who was stretching to reach something in a higher shelf. He quickly noticed that she, too, had back pockets. Why didn't she tell him he was supposed to do that? He averted his gaze when she looked at him and let out a sigh and a smile.

"Hidan," she said softly, "can you reach that for me? I'm a bit short."

Hidan said nothing but moved forward and pulled down the box that she had been trying to reach. She thanked him when he passed it to her and set it in the cart. He wasn't sure how to ask her about the pockets and felt rather uncomfortable doing so, so instead of mentioning it, he took a chance and stood beside her as she put more marks on the paper. He shifted and kept his eyes straight ahead before slowly, he moved his hand behind her and slid his fingers underneath the material that formed Arlene's back pocket.

As soon as he did, Arlene whirled around, forcing him to pull back his hand. He caught a glimpse of the ire on her face just before her palm connected with his cheek, causing it to sting and burn.

"Ow, fuck, what the hell, that hurt!" Hidan complained.

"You're lucky that's all I did," Arlene snarled. "What's wrong with you? You can't just go around grabbing people's asses."

Hidan rubbed his cheek which was already red. He pointed to the man and woman at the meat. "He's doing it!"

Arlene glared. "_They _are a couple. You know…together. Romantically involved. _We_ are not."

Hidan scowled at her. "I didn't know that. First male-female pair I've seen in this wretched place, I thought that was how people were supposed to act here. I was _trying _to blend in," Hidan explained tugging pointedly at the shirt that belonged to Joshua's father, Gabriel.

Arlene kept her eyes on Hidan's, searching for even the slightest hint of a lie. Could he really have thought he was supposed to do that? Arlene found nothing. Not even a trace of dishonesty. Then again, why would Hidan have to lie? He was stronger and faster and currently in charge, he could get away with just about anything right now.

Arlene sighed and reached up to gently touch his cheek where she slapped him. It was hot and bright red while his other cheek was pale in comparison. Hidan wouldn't look at her as she gingerly brushed her fingertips over his smooth skin. "Sorry," she said quietly.

Hidan hesitated a few moments then looked down at her. "Me, too," he grumbled, then pulled her hand away from his face. "Let's keep going."

Arlene nodded and pushed the cart forward. As she rounded the corner, she heard someone call her name. She stopped and looked up. Two aisles over, at the very end, a tall, full figured, dark haired woman with eyes that matched Rachel's, was waving at her.

"Who's that?" Hidan asked quietly.

"Rachel's mother," Arlene answered as the woman approached them. "Hello, Marissa," Arlene greeted, offering a friendly smile.

"Hi, dear," Marissa answered, before looking at Hidan.

Arlene glanced at Hidan. "A friend of mine and Josh's. He's visiting from out of town."

"Oh," Marissa said, smiling at him. "Nice to meet you. When did you get in?"

"A couple days ago," he answered truthfully.

Marissa glanced at Arlene. "I didn't realize you two had company. I wouldn't have let Rachel stay there last night if I knew."

Arlene smiled. "It's not a problem. There was plenty of room," she lied.

Marissa tilted her head at Hidan. "You have very interesting eyes. Are those contacts?"

Hidan frowned. "Contacts?"

Arlene felt her pulse jump. Hidan wouldn't know what contacts were. How was he going to explain that he naturally had purple eyes?

Hidan could feel the air around Arlene shift. She was panicking. He assumed this to mean that his eye color was not normal in this world. He smiled at Marissa. "No, ma'am. It's a rare birth defect. There were complications in my birth that caused unusual blood flow and made my eyes purple."

Arlene held her breath waiting for Marissa to speak. "Oh, you poor thing, I'm so sorry."

Hidan nodded. "It's okay. I've been healthy ever since, so has my mother."

Marissa smiled at Hidan then turned to Arlene. "I just wanted to ask if Rachel had been okay last night. I was worried about her."

Arlene offered a comforting smile. "She was fine. Happy and energetic as always. She went to school on the bus this morning."

"Thank you. Um…you're working right now?" Arlene nodded. "So Josh is here too, then?"

"Yes."

"Oh, good. I need to speak with him. Do you know where he is?"

Arlene turned around and scanned what she could see of the store. She thought carefully before turning back to Marissa. "He's probably in fruits and vegetables."

"Okay, thank you," Marissa said. "I'll talk to you later. And it was nice meeting you..uhm..I'm sorry I didn't catch your name."

"Hidan," he finished for her. Marissa cast him a thoughtful frown. "My mother was a bit weird with names."

With that, Marissa chuckled and waved goodbye as she made her way to Joshua. Suddenly, Arlene began to panic again. "Oh, shit," she said.

"What's wrong?" Hidan asked. "Did I screw it up?"

"No, no, you did great. Thanks for the cover by the way," Arlene said as she pulled out her cell phone from her pocket. "I have to warn Joshua. Marissa will freak out if she sees Pein. She's not on the ball with facial piercings."

"Oh," Hidan laughed. "That could be interesting to watch."

Pein watched as Joshua carefully maneuvered through the many stands of fruits and vegetables. The cart was nearly full, but Joshua explained that it was always best to get the refrigerated goods, such as meats, dairy and vegetables last.

There hadn't been nearly as many people in the store as Pein had expected. In fact, it was rather deserted for a market this size. He questioned it, but Joshua had explained that, too. He said that most people were at work or at school during this time of day and most of the people that were in the store now were either on a day off or unemployed. He called the unemployed ones "stay-at-home moms or dads".

Pein felt awkward, as though there was something he wasn't doing right. He felt odd in these clothes and didn't think he was doing a good job at blending in, but didn't know what else to do. How were two men supposed to act when they were grocery shopping together?

Then, as if some higher power was answering him, Pein spotted two men walking together. One of them was pushing a cart like Joshua had and the other had his arm around his friend's waist, with his hand resting on his hip.

Then, Pein got an idea. As Joshua returned to the cart with some food that was light green at the top and white at the bottom, Pein gave one last inspection to the other men to make sure he didn't miss anything. When Joshua reached him, Pein quickly slid his arm behind Joshua's back and let his palm rest against the man's hip.

Pein frowned to himself as he did so. This world had strange customs and this didn't feel right. As Pein thought about it, he looked down at Joshua who was staring at him, wide-eyed with the most awkward of faces. His mouth was hanging open and flexed in a way that it looked almost like a letter D that fell onto its back.

Joshua stared in horror at the older, taller man. This couldn't be happening. Not to him…not in the middle of the store. Joshua backed away from Pein slowly and pressed himself up against the wooden frame of the apple stand.

"What's wrong?" Pein asked. "Did I do it wrong?"

"Do it _wrong_?" Joshua hissed in disbelief. "The problem is that you did it!"

Pein frowned. He pointed to the men behind him. "Those men were doing it. I thought it was normal."

Joshua felt his knees weaken in revulsion. "Those men are…together. Very close…like…in a romantic way," Joshua explained.

Pein looked at them over his shoulder then looked back at Joshua. "Really? What's the fun in that?" he said before shrugging off the incident.

Distraction presented itself as Joshua's phone beeped from his pocket. To be honest, after the incident of Deidara and the dog, Joshua was amazed that the phone worked at all. He pulled it out from his pocket and flipped it open to read the message that Arlene had sent him:

_Incoming! Marissa is looking for you. Hide Pein NOW!_

_Perfect_ Joshua thought to himself. Joshua let out a loud, stressed sigh before looking at Pein. "Pein," Joshua said slowly. "I understand that you're the boss, but I need you to trust me right now and listen very carefully."

Pein raised an eyebrow at the shorter man.

"Rachel's mother is in the store and looking for me. She cannot see you with me."

"And why not?" Pein asked. "I thought I was blending in so that I didn't have to hide."

Joshua nodded. "Yes, and you're doing an excellent job, but Marissa…she doesn't get the whole facial piercing thing. And if she sees you…with me…we're all doomed."

"What problem of that is mine? I've seen plenty of people around here with piercings in their noses and lips and eyebrows."

"Yes, but very few of them have all the above and multiple of it. We just don't need the hassle right now…please," Joshua pleaded.

Pein eyed the man cautiously before deciding that extra attention was indeed unnecessary. "What am I to do then?"

Joshua pointed towards the shelf of bread. "Just go over there and linger inconspicuously until she leaves."

Just as Pein started walking away, Joshua heard the voice of his aunt calling out to him. _That was close,_ he thought.

Pein stood between the shelf of bread and a stand with baked goods on it. He peered over the top of the dinner rolls, watching as Joshua spoke to a woman who was tall and thin but not skinny and didn't appear to be much older than thirty. Even Pein had to admit, with her figure and features, she was beautiful.

As Pein watched the two and watched their mouths move, trying to lip read, his thoughts drifted away from his current situation and landed on the image of a thin, blue-headed woman who had been beside him since childhood. He suddenly felt awkward and empty in her absence. He couldn't remember ever having gone so long without her.

As Marissa left, Joshua nodded to Pein to let him know that he could return. Joshua's spine tingled as Pein approached him, eyeing him closely. Pein stopped in front of him and Joshua tilted his head back to look up at the man who was almost a head taller than himself.

Pein's lips barely moved as he spoke. "I want you to bring Konan here," he said quietly and simply.

Joshua took a slow breath in. There was a certain note in his voice that let Joshua know this was not open for debate and knowing the Akatsuki leader's past and connection to the woman, Joshua fully understood. Pein and Konan had a relationship similar to himself and Arlene.

Joshua nodded slowly. "Okay," was all he said. "We have to go pay for this stuff so we can deliver it and the other orders. Then we can get home and I can bring her."

Pein nodded. He wanted to thank Joshua, but didn't know how, so instead he stayed quiet.

Itachi looked at the clock. It was nearing dinner time. Surely the others would be back soon. Itachi thought quietly to himself for a minute then closed his book and left it on the table. He began searching through drawers and cupboards in the kitchen.

He found a knife and set it on the counter. Then he found a pot and set it on the stove. After finally finding the sack in the pantry, Itachi took out a dozen small potatoes and began peeling them with the knife.

Deidara watched as the Uchiha did something he never would have imagined in a million years. Itachi was preparing dinner. Suddenly, a realization shot through his head and fired up his temper. Deidara rose to his feet and approached the dividing counter.

Itachi glanced up from the potato in his hand and, through his dark hair, saw Deidara scowling at him. "What?" he said simply and emotionlessly.

"What are you doing?"

"Peeling potatoes."

"D'uh. Didn't think you were walking the dog, un. If you can cook, why were we starving when Arlene was locked away in that room?"

Itachi didn't even pause at the accusation. He began cutting the potatoes into chunks and setting them into the pot. "I can't cook. Repeating a task that you've witnessed one complete before is a simple feat. I'm merely getting something ready to be cooked by Arlene when she gets back."

Deidara considered that and his temper began to dissipate. As he went to sit back down with Sasori, Tobi wandered into the kitchen from Joshua's room where he had been napping. He opened the fridge and poked around before pulling out a plastic container with a label on it.

"What are you doing, Tobi?" Itachi asked.

"Tobi is hungry."

"Dinner should be soon."

"But Tobi is hungry noooow."

"Then have a piece of fruit."

"But Tobi wants this!" he whined.

Itachi turned around and inspected the container. He opened it to look inside and then read the label. "Tobi, this is cake icing. You can't it that or you'll get sick."

Tobi snatched the icing from Itachi's hand and in a blink, he was gone. Itachi heard Joshua's bedroom door close and lock. Mentally rolling his eyes at the masked idiot, Itachi went back to the potatoes. He put water in the pot and set it on the stove before digging around the fridge for some meat.

Finding multiple packages of chicken, he unwrapped them and set them in a baking pan just like Arlene had done with pork chops and meatballs. He didn't know what spices she put on chicken so he simply set the pan in the oven and left it off.

Itachi stood still in the kitchen, trying to figure out what he should do next. Sasori's voice sounded quietly from the couch. "Bagged vegetables in the freezer," he said, offering Itachi some guidance.

Itachi said nothing but wondered how Sasori new that. The puppet was forever watching television and never seemed to be paying attention to what anyone else was doing. Ignoring this, Itachi opened the freezer and pulled out a bag of mixed vegetables. He dug out another pot and poured in the whole contents of the bag, which came out in icy chunks.

As he tossed the bag in the garbage and put water on the vegetables, he heard the sound of Arlene's car pull into the driveway. He stood at the sink and watched out the window as the four made their way into the house, each carrying some plastic bags.

As they entered the house, they set the bags on the counter and Hidan let out a tired grunt and flopped down in the armchair. "Fuck, I'm tired. That was the least amount of fun, I've ever had."

Arlene cast him a sideways glance that seemed to hold no emotion. Itachi couldn't tell if his complaint had offended her or if she was just tired. Either way, he didn't comment on it and helped her as she began emptying the bags of groceries and sorting them between fridge and cupboard.

Arlene paused as she spotted the two pots of vegetables on the stove. She frowned at them and then looked up at Itachi. "You?" she asked. Itachi nodded and Arlene offered him a gentle smile. "Thanks," she said and he nodded again.

Pein sat down on a kitchen chair as Joshua hung up everyone's jackets for them. When he returned to the kitchen, Pein looked up at him. "So when can we summon her?"

Arlene and Itachi turned to Pein. Arlene frowned. "Summon who?" Arlene took one look at Joshua and she had it all figured out. "You're summoning Konan?"

Pein made no eye contact with Arlene. "This isn't debatable."

Arlene set a box of pasta in the pantry. "I wasn't debating. I was just asking."

Joshua nodded. "Yes, we're summoning Konan."

"Okay," she said coolly.

"You don't have a problem with that?"

"No…I have no beef with Konan. My concern is, who is coming with her?"

Pein looked up at Arlene. "What do you mean?"

Arlene leaned against the back of a kitchen chair. "Well, you've all been showing up here in pairs. There's a reason for that."

Pein remained silent as he thought. Then he looked to Arlene. "You can't enter the match with only one player. You have to summon two, no matter what."

Arlene nodded. "So I ask, who is coming with her?"

Before Pein could answer, Joshua heard the car in the driveway and panicked as he listened to the voices of his aunt and little cousin as the car doors slammed shut. He looked at the clock. They weren't supposed to be here for another hour. He waved his arms in the air. "Shit! You guys, get to the rooms!"

Deidara began to protest, but Pein cut him off. "Just do as he says. Let's go," he said as they hurried off to the bedrooms .

As Hidan got up, Arlene pushed him back into his seat. Joshua gave her a questioning glare. "Marissa already met him. He's a friend from out of town and he's visiting for a while. Would be odd if our visitor was nowhere to be found."

"Oh, okay then." Joshua said and let out a calming breath. "By the way," he said, "I didn't get a chance to mention earlier, Marissa's leaving town for work until Sunday and Rachel is staying here."

Arlene gaped at him then slapped her forehead. She looked down at Hidan who was sitting with his eyes closed. "I was going to tell you to act natural…but I don't think it's going to make a difference."

Hidan cracked an eye open to look at the short brunette. He offered her a chiding smile and closed his eyes. "Princess, I already saved your ass against her once, I think I can manage sitting here and saying nothing."

Arlene laughed and went to the stove to turn it on just as Rachel rushed through the door. She clung to Joshua and smothered him with hugs and chattered on and on about how she was going to be here with him and watch movies and play games with him.

Marissa laughed at the girl then waved a hello to Arlene who waved back. "I'll be right back, I'm going to get her bag from the car."

Joshua nodded and watched her go. Rachel looked around the living room and sadness took over her face. "Where did all the Akasy go? Are they gone now?"

Joshua set her on the floor and placed his finger to his lips in a 'sh' motion. "They are still here, but they are hiding. We can't tell Aunt Marissa, okay? It's a secret."

Rachel nodded excitedly and made a motion of zipping her lips in a gesture of silence. Then she spotted Hidan sitting in the living room with his eyes closed. She giggled and looked at Arlene who was spicing chicken. "Your boyfriend is sleeping," she said.

Arlene choked on the air she was breathing and Hidan let out a loud snort of laughter but, to Arlene's relief, said nothing.

Marissa's warm laugh reached Arlene's ears as she set Rachel's bag on the kitchen table. "Now, Arlene," she said in a chiding tone. "You told me he was a friend, you didn't say you were together."

Arlene spluttered, trying to find words and Hidan opened his eyes and sat up, watching in amusement.

Marissa laughed. "Oh, dear, relax. You're a big girl you can date who you want. Just make sure there's no hanky panky in front of my girl."

Arlene laughed nervously. "Yeah, right. That won't be a problem."

Despite his fatigue, Hidan's laugh was full and hearty. How he loved to see her squirm. It amused him to no end and he didn't know why.

Marissa winked at Hidan. "And you better be good to my niece or I'm going to have to track you down and give you a good shake down, understand?"

Hidan kept his gaze on Arlene's flushed cheeks and nodded. "Yes, ma'am."

Marissa chuckled and gave Rachel a kiss before bidding her a good night and telling her to behave herself. She left the house, got into her car and drove away while Rachel waved at her from the kitchen window.

As soon as the blue car was out of site, Rachel tilted her head back and yelled out. "You can come out now, Akasy!"


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: Neither Drake nor I own any Naruto characters. We own Joshua, and Arlene and future characters owned by us will be noted. Rachel is owned by Loki 7744**

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><p>Rachel giggled as she chased the green, rubber ball across the lawn. She had a string tightened under her chin that was holding her red cowboy hat firmly in place so it wouldn't fall off as she was playing. Finally catching up to the ball, she scooped it up and turned around. She aimed as best as she could and then threw it with all her might, hoping it made it back, across the path she just ran, to where Tobi was waiting to catch it.<p>

Tobi watched as the ball came flying towards him. He held his arms out for it, hopping back and forth excitedly. The ball began to drop, but it was still too far away, it wasn't going to make it. Tobi rushed forward, but the ball hit the side of the picnic table and changed direction. Tobi dove in a desperate attempt to catch it before it hit the ground, but he missed. The ball hit the ground, bounced twice and proceeded to roll under Arlene's car. "Awww, man!" Tobi cried out and ran to retrieve it while Rachel dropped to the grass, laughing.

Inside, Arlene stood at the counter, mixing up a batch of cookies while the chicken cooked and the potatoes, which Itachi had so thoughtfully prepared, bubbled and boiled. She hummed quietly to herself, keeping herself company while she was alone. Well…she was alone except for Sasori who was watching television. The man…err…puppet, never seemed to be doing anything else.

Arlene began adding the wet ingredients to her dry ingredients. As she turned to get the eggs from the fridge, she noticed Sasori watching her. She paused. "Is the humming bothering you?"

Sasori's emotionless eyes scanned the part of her that was visible from where he was sitting. "Strange you should ask that. How can I be annoyed if I don't feel anything?"

Arlene remained silent, not knowing what to say.

"Now that have a moment alone, I can finally tell you…I _do_ have emotions. My body is made of wood but I still have a heart. I may be incapable of feeling anything on a physical plane, but I still emote."

Arlene watched Sasori carefully. "I guess that's true," she said quietly.

"It would seem that you and my so called comrades seem to keep forgetting that. Just because my face doesn't show it, doesn't mean it's not there. Think about it…if I hadn't felt anger, I wouldn't have acted to kill you."

Arlene shifted uncomfortably. "I thought everyone had moved on from that incident."

Sasori shook his head. "All of you did. I didn't. Nonetheless, I know I'm not the most upstanding character, but I know what I did was uncalled for. This comes a little late, but I officially extend my deepest apology to you. I _should_ have gone after that idiot replacement."

"Uhm," Arlene blinked, uncertain of what to do. "Thanks, I suppose."

Sasori turned his head back to the television. _That was weird…and random_, Arlene thought to herself. She proceeded to dig the eggs out of the fridge and continued to make her cookies.

Down in Joshua's room, four Akatsuki members stood around the chair that Joshua was sitting in as he powered up his Xbox 360. "So we were brought here by this machine?" Deidara asked and tilted his head to the side, causing his golden bangs to shift away from his eye.

Joshua looked over his shoulder at the teenaged bomber, noticing for the first time that he had removed the camera from his face, leaving his left eye bare. Joshua nodded, "Yeah. I know, it's weird. And you'll probably notice that your character slots are greyed out."

"Why would they be greyed out?" Hidan asked.

"Because your…spirits, I guess, are no longer in the dimension they should be in. They are here, causing a fluctuation in both this world and yours. It's only logical that the universe remedies this in its own way. Guess it felt that you shouldn't be in two places at once."

Hidan eyed the back of Joshua's head. "That's fucking stupid."

"Wait, wait, wait," Deidara said as Joshua entered free battle mode. Joshua swiveled in his chair to look at him. "We used this machine to play Left 4 Dead 2…wasn't that risky? I mean…what if it had brought those zombies here too?"

Joshua's eyes widened. "I can't believe I never thought of that."

Itachi looked to Deidara. "I can't believe he _did_ think of it. Albeit a little late."

Deidara huffed. "I'm not stupid, you know."

Itachi let out a sharp breath of air. "You got your arm torn off by Kakashi Hatake and had to get Kakuzu to reattach it."

"Battle wounds make me stupid?"

"About that," Hidan said, turning to Pein. "I think we should bring Kakuzu here, too."

Pein looked down at the shorter man. "I thought you two didn't get along."

"We don't," Hidan said, "but if something happens and I lose limbs, Kakuzu is the only one who can fix me up. If he's not around, I'm fucked."

Joshua spun around in the chair so he was facing Pein instead of Deidara. "I actually agree with Hidan. Your very presence is defying nature and logic. Nature often has a way of balancing itself out, and if you guys are here, the universe may act against you and try to remove you somehow."

Pein eyed Joshua.

"Turns out my research wasn't a complete waste. I've looked into statistics of natural disasters and what not, and it turns out that every natural disaster, at least within the past ten years, always came right after something great. A new medicine is developed, an earthquake destroys a city. That's an example, but that's the idea of it. You guys are less natural so whatever we've got coming could be nasty."

Pein nodded slowly. "This is interesting news. Your work has provided us with important information. Good job."

Joshua suddenly felt awkward and embarrassed by Pein's compliment. He shouldn't be surprised; it was typical of Pein to encourage others to be respectful and tolerant of one another. All the same, Joshua just hoped he wasn't blushing.

"Kakuzu it is, then," Itachi said quietly.

Joshua turned back to the screen and proceeded to select Konan as the first player opponent. Once she was selected, he picked up the second player controller and selected Kakuzu. The screen automatically changed to the arena selection screen. Joshua took a slow breath in as his thumb hovered over the just hoped he wasn't blushing.

"Kakuzu it is, then," Itachi said quietly.

Joshua turned back to the screen and proceeded to select Konan as the first player opponent. Once she was selected, he picked up the second player controller and selected Kakuzu. The screen automatically changed to the arena selection screen. Joshua took a slow breath in as his thumb hovered over the Y button that would select a random arena and enter the match. "Ready?" he asked the Akatsuki leader.

Pein nodded. "Commence."

Joshua tapped the yellow button and the game shuffled through the available arenas before landing on one and popping to the loading screen. Once the load reached 100%, the console and the television powered down as the lights flickered.

Joshua set the controller on his bed and rose from his chair. He turned to face all the Akatsuki. "And there we go,"

Arlene was scooping cookie dough onto a baking sheet when the lights flickered. She felt a swish of air behind her and a cold chill run up her spine. This was it. Joshua had done it. When she turned around, Konan would be standing behind her.

The question was, who had they decided to bring with her? The shark? The plant? Or the man with five hearts?

Arlene turned around to find out, and as soon as she did, a large hand flew open towards her and wrapped itself around her throat, lifting her off the floor. She gasped for air but found none. Her eyes followed from the hand at her throat, down the bundle of threads to the arm that was attached to Kakuzu. Konan stood behind him, watching Arlene struggle for breath, but made no movement to help either Kakuzu or Arlene.

As she rose further from the floor, Arlene couldn't stop her leg from twitching and as it did so, it knocked off the pot of frozen vegetables that she hadn't even heated up yet. She wrapped her own hand around Kakuzu's wrist. She wanted to tell him she wasn't his enemy, but she couldn't form words without air. Arlene felt her eyes begin to bulge as her chest constricted painfully. She was well off the ground and hovering over the stove. Knowing that there was nothing she could pick up and throw at him, Arlene formed another plan in her head.

This was going to hurt, but it was the quickest way for her to help herself. She stretched her leg straight down. Pointing her socked toes, she stuck her foot into the pot of boiling potatoes and kicked it off the stove. The pot flew straight into Kakuzu's abdomen, splashing the scalding hot water all over his front. Kakuzu growled and lost his grip on Arlene's throat. He hand retracted back to his body as Arlene fell to the floor, landing in the mess of cold water and frozen peas.

Konan rushed forward to make her attack on Arlene. Out of thin air, a whirlwind of paper began to form, but as soon as it did, there was a blur of red and beige before Sasori stood in front of Arlene, defending her the same way that Tobi had when the sand shinobi had made his own attack.

Konan stopped and stared emotionlessly at Sasori. "She's not your enemy," Sasori said evenly. "Trust me, Pein and Itachi will throw a fit if you hurt her."

Konan's breath caught in her throat at the mention of Pein. "He's here?"

Sasori nodded then looked at Kakuzu. "Your partner is here, as well…and I get this feeling that he won't be happy to find out you nearly killed the chef."

Kakuzu glared at Sasori but said nothing as he removed his wet cloak. Arlene stood up, trying to ignore the burns on her toes. When he was certain that neither Konan or Kakuzu were going to try to kill Arlene, Sasori returned to his place on the couch without so much as looking at Arlene.

Pein shifted. "Are you certain it worked?" he asked Joshua.

"Well," Joshua said, "the lights didn't stay off as long as they did when Itachi and Deidara got here, but then again, they didn't go off at all when Arlene brought you and Hidan."

"That didn't answer his question," Hidan said, his tone laced with annoyance.

Joshua sighed. "No, I'm not certain, but the only way to find out is to go and look."

As the words left Joshua's mouth, a loud crash sounded from down the hallway, followed by a thud. _Oh no_, Joshua thought to himself, remembering how Itachi and Deidara had reacted when they first met.

Everyone was already headed for the door, but Joshua pushed past them all in desperate need to get to his friend. Dammit, why did this always happen to her?

Joshua practically flew down the hallway and as he reached the kitchen, a figure that was tall, but still shorter than him came around the corner. He attempted to stop, but his socks decided that they wanted to keep going, and as Joshua slid over the linoleum, he instinctively put his hands up to break the collision.

As Joshua crashed into the figure and came to a stop, the flesh under his palms seemed to be rather warm and soft…and round. Opening his eyes, Joshua looked down into the stoic face of the paper angel. Looking down father, Joshua's insides locked up into his throat. Oh heavens, what had he done?

Hidan let out a low whistle from behind Joshua. "I'm immortal and even I'm not brave enough to do that."

Konan's smooth voice filled the air around Joshua's head. "Remove your hands from my breasts or I shall have to murder you."

Joshua stumbled backwards, pulling his hands to his chest. "Oh, God…I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…I didn't mean to!"

Konan seemed to ignore him as she looked over his shoulder. She was quiet and she didn't smile or make any facial expressions, but her eyes flickered away from murderous and became soft as they rested upon Pein's face. "You are here," she said quietly.

Pein nodded. "Yes. Most of us are."

Joshua left them to talk and continued on to the kitchen. He stopped as he saw Kakuzu, cloakless and glaring at Arlene who was dripping wet. Joshua noted the mess of vegetables and water on the floor at her feet then the pot and potatoes near Kakuzu. The water had spilled onto the floor and was steaming, but Kakuzu wasn't standing in it. It didn't take long for Joshua to figure out what had happened and play the scene in his head.

He walked past Kakuzu and inspected Arlene. Her neck was red and would probably bruise, but that seemed to be her only injury. He couldn't help but feel a stab of sadness at the idea of her injured. He laid a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. "Are you alright?"

Arlene looked up at her friend. She stared at him blankly for a minute then cracked her signature crooked grin. "I'm fine. You know…I'm starting to get used to this almost dying thing," she laughed.

Joshua eyed her with a peeved glare. "That's not even funny."

Arlene shrugged. "I'm fine. Really." Unable to decide whether or not to mention Sasori's aid, Arlene looked down at the floor. "I better clean this up."

"You should change first," Hidan said, indicated her wet clothing.

"Yeah," she agreed then turned to Kakuzu. "Sorry about that…I'm sure Josh can find you a dry shirt."

Kakuzu's eyes narrowed on her but she ignored it and continued to Joshua's room. As she did, she heard Itachi's low voice instruct Deidara to get a towel and wipe up her trail of water. Inside the room, Arlene dug around in her bag and pulled out a pair of flannel pyjama bottoms and a short sleeved shirt.

She had just pulled on her shirt when the squeak of the doorknob signaled that someone was entering. "Josh, really, I'm fine," she said, but stopped when she looked up to see Itachi entering the room. He closed the door behind him. "Oh, sorry…thought you were Josh."

Itachi nodded. "It's fine." He ran his eyes over her pyjamas before staring at her feet. "You haven't changed your socks."

Arlene shifted as she sat on the bed and looked down at them. She didn't want to tell him that she stuck her foot into boiling water. She stumbled around with 'ums' and 'hms' trying to think of something to say.

Itachi kneeled down in front of her and pulled off her left sock. As he reached for her right, Arlene pulled her foot back. "I can change my own socks," she said defensively.

Itachi met her gaze. "Kakuzu told me you burned yourself," he said simply.

Arlene felt the heat reach her face. "Oh." When Itachi didn't respond, she looked down at her right sock. "I don't really want to see the damage."

Something in Itachi's eyes flickered before he looked back down at her foot and hooked his thumb under the top of her sock. Slowly and gently, he pulled the sock down over her foot. Arlene avoided watching, fearing the worst. Itachi tossed the sock aside and gently places his hand over her toes. She wanted to hiss at the pain but she fought it and winced instead.

Itachi left Arlene's foot and picked up the large bottle of water that Joshua had left sitting by his computer and dumped it into the empty ice cream paid that Joshua kept under his bed in case he ever felt sick. He moved the bucket to where Arlene's foot was and guided her foot into the water. It wasn't cold, but it was cool from the window being open.

"Does Joshua keep bandages?"

Arlene nodded, watching the breeze outside make the leave dance in the tree across the yard. "There is a first aid kit in the bathroom, under the sink. It should have gauze and burn cream, too." As Itachi stood up, Arlene looked at him from the corner of his eye. "Don't tell Joshua, okay?"

Itachi nodded and left, returning less than a minute later. He sat at her feet and pulled her burned foot out of the bucket. "It's red, and will hurt for a while, but I'm sure it will heal just fine," Itachi said softly.

Arlene listened to his voice. She wasn't used to hearing him speak so softly. This must have been how he used to speak to Sasuke when they were younger. She only wished that Sasuke realized how caring his elder brother was.

As he began rubbing burn cream over her foot, Arlene wanted to cry from the stinging pain. She felt the tears pricking at the back of her eyes, but she couldn't cry. She was amongst ninja who has lost limbs and shed blood without fussing over it. She had no right to cry over a burned foot. So instead, she focused on the sounds of Rachel and Tobi laughing outside.

When Itachi was done applying the cream, he wrapped her foot in gauze and taped it firmly in place so she could put on dry socks without them causing too much pain from chafing. He picked up the bucket of water and stood up to go dump it.

"I'm sorry," Arlene said. Itachi looked down at her, silently but questioningly. Her green eyes were rimmed with sincerity and sadness. "I know you wanted Kisame to come…"

Itachi nodded slowly. "It had to be this way."

"That doesn't mean you're not allowed to be disappointed. He's a good friend…you deserve that."

Itachi let his gaze slide to the window as he looked up at the sky. He thought of his brother and his parents. His friends and family…his girlfriend. All of whom he'd destroyed in an attempt to save Konoha, one of the many villages that now wanted him dead.

Arlene spoke again, but this time her voice was shaky and she sounded like she was fighting tears. "I know it was impossibly hard. Selflessness always is. But you put the needs of the many before the needs of the few…I have the utmost respect for that, Itachi."

Itachi looked down at her and frowned. "You remind me of him…before he hated me."

Arlene didn't have a chance to respond before Itachi left the room. She sighed and took a steadying breath before pulling on a pair of dry socks and making her way back out to the kitchen. When she got there, the mess had already been cleaned up, the cookies were in the oven and the chicken was sitting on top of the stove.

Looking around, Arlene couldn't figure out who cleaned up for her, but she assumed it was Joshua who put the cookies in and took the chicken out. She sighed as she sniffed at the perfectly spiced poultry. "There is no way that is going to feed all of us," she said.

Arlene paused at the lack of response. Looking closer at the occupants of the room, she almost laughed when she realized that she was virtually invisible. Tobi and Rachel were outside, Konan and Pein had gone off to the bedroom – Pein had to fill in Konan on what was going on – Kakuzu and Hidan were arguing about why Hidan didn't make the rendezvous at the quarry where Kakuzu waited for two days, Itachi was disposing of the evidence of her injury and Deidara and Joshua were arguing about Left 4 Dead 2.

She looked down at Sasori who was sitting on the couch but had muted the television as it was impossible to hear with the others talking. Feeling her gaze, Sasori looked up at her. "You could always order some pizza," he suggested.

Arlene frowned. "How do you know about pizza?"

Sasori pointed a wooden finger at the television. "Commercials," he said simply.

Arlene laughed. "Pizza it is, then," she said. As she made her way to the counter where she'd left her cell phone, she stopped and turned back to Sasori. "Thanks…for earlier."

Sasori nodded then got up and left to his and Deidara's room. Arlene picked up her phone and retreated to Joshua's room so she could hear on the phone. When she got there, Itachi was placing the bucket back under Joshua's bed. He looked at her as she closed the door.

Arlene gestured to her phone. "We're ordering pizza," she said, answering his unasked question.

Itachi nodded. "Extra cheese and no anchovies," he said flatly then left the room.


	15. Chapter 15

**Here it is, at long last. Sorry for the terribly long wait, my friends, but life is what it is and does the things it does. I made this chapter extra long to make up for the lateness. Hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: Neither Drake nor I own any of the Naruto characters. We own Joshua and Arlene. Rachel is owned by Loki7744. Any future characters will be noted.**

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><p>Silence consumed the household that had become a temporary home for a majority of the Akatsuki. In the dead of the night, Joshua lay silent and still on his bed, sleeping soundly. It was not through peace and comfort that he was finally able to slumber, undisturbed and without worry, but rather, it was exhaustion and the fact that he was no longer able to think let alone worry. On the mattress beside him, where Arlene had made a bed on the floor, his cousin Rachel also slept deeply, a light snore emanating from her throat with each breath.<p>

Across the hall, Itachi slept, facing the wall, in the twin sized bed across from the door. In the bed under the window, the same size, Pein and Konan had managed to squeeze in together and lay restfully. Itachi had offered to sleep on the floor, offering his bed to Konan, but Pein insisted she keep him warm.

On the other side of the wall that Itachi's sleeping body faced, was another bedroom. Kakuzu lay diagonally on the double bed that was normally more than enough room for Joshua's small figured parents. But for Kakuzu's entire six foot tall, toned body, it was barely enough. On the floor by the closet, Deidara slept, wrapped up in a pile of blankets, snoring loudly, his long blond hair acting as a curtain for his face. Not too far from the clay bomber, Sasori sat in a small, but stylish, armchair which he had pulled away from the wall and angled to better see the small television set in the room. The volume was quiet enough to not wake his comrades, but still loud enough that his wooden ears could catch the vibrations of the sound waves. This stillness and quiet was as close to slumber as the puppeteer would ever get.

Just down what was left of the hallway, sharing a wall with Kakuzu's bed, was the living room. Arlene stirred lightly in her sleep before waking up in a sudden discomfort as one usually does when they have a dire need to urinate. Arlene struggled to untangle herself from her blankets and with the last tug the corner flew across the small space between her and the silver haired Jashinist and landed on his face. She remained still hoping that if he thought she did it in her sleep, he wouldn't yell at her, but the man didn't even wake. Instead, he grunted, wiped his hand over his face, sliding the blanket off and then rolled over.

Arlene stood up and quietly and carefully stepped over Hidan's legs. She glanced at the couch where Tobi slept, but in the darkness, could not tell if he was beneath the pile of blankets or not. She kept her eye on the bar of light that emanated from underneath the bathroom door. The one light in the house that was always left on, just for this purpose, made it easier for people to find their way in the dark without turning on all the other lights in the house and waking each other up. It was like this even when Josh's parents were home.

Reaching the door, Arlene laid her hand on the knob and entered the bathroom. She stopped dead in her tracks. Her breath caught in her throat at the monster that sat in the bathroom. It was short and chunky, its face twisted into some horrible mess and bent sideways, staring at her with its single eye. She waited for it to lunge at her and devour her insides, too frightened to even scream. The only sound made was resembling of the one that usually came from her throat when she vomited, but it wasn't coming from her. It came from the monster.

Arlene shut her eyes tight, hoping that this would make the monster disappear. To her amazement, it worked. When her eyes opened and the sleep and bright light cleared, there was no longer an evil, hell creature in the bathroom. Instead, Tobi sat on his knees on the floor, hunched over the toilet heaving and gagging. His mask was spun around to the side of his face so that he could expel his puke, yet still remain hidden from view. Arlene took a breath of relief and fought the urge to curse her own silliness.

She took a careful step forward, unsure if Tobi had realized her presence. "Tobi? Are you alright?" She already knew the answer to that question, but she couldn't think of anything else to say that wasn't _'Hey, I gotta pee, you almost done?'_

Instead of the whine and call for a hug she expected to come in the high pitched Tobi-voice she was used to, she received a deep hissing of "Begone! I am busy!"

Granting his wish, Arlene backed out of the washroom, closing the door behind her just before the sounds of his heaving escaped into the hallway. The short woman sighed to herself and did a little dance and a hop to stave off her need of the toilet. Tobi was going to have to come first.

Padding back down the hallway, Arlene stopped at the doorway where the hallway became the kitchen and living room. She rested her thumb and index finger on the light switch and slowly lifted it up as if flipping it softly would make the sudden burst of light appear with the same slowness that its summoner was using. When the lights flickered on just as quickly and harshly as always, she held her breath, hoping that the sleeping Hidan would remain sleeping.

He didn't. He sat up grumbling and when he saw her by the light switch, he growled. "What the hell are you doing? I'm trying to sleep."

Arlene cast him an apologetic glance before shuffling over to the kitchen. "Sorry. I need to see in here."

Hidan watched the short brunette as she filled the tea kettle with some water and set it on the stove to heat up. "Why are you making tea? It's still dark out isn't it?"

"Yes. Tobi is sick. I'm making him mint tea."

Hidan turned his head over to the couch and noticed for the first time that there was no orange mask peeking out from under the blankets. "Oh," he said and stood up. "What's wrong with him?" he asked, more curious than concerned.

Arlene pulled a mug out of the cupboard and set it on the counter, tossing the teabag inside. "He ate too many sugary things yesterday. His body hasn't adapted to handle it, now it's rejecting the intake in the only way it can."

Hidan moved forward and leaned on the counter and yawned, rubbing a large hand over his pale face. "How long until everyone else starts getting up?"

Arlene glanced at the clock before grabbing a glass from the cupboard. "Still five hours," she replied, her voice lightly pitched by surprise, having been unaware of the time before Hidan asked. "When the water boils, can you turn off the stove and fill this mug?"

Hidan didn't normally make a habit of being kind or helpful towards people, especially ones that annoyed him, but Arlene didn't give him time to protest and was already headed down the hall with an empty glass.

Knocking lightly on the bathroom door, Arlene called quietly to the masked man, "Tobi, I'm coming in." When there was no protest, or any sound at all, she opened the door and stepped in, closing it behind her. Tobi remained in his heap on the floor. He was still, except for the light movements that signaled he was, in fact, still breathing. It seemed his body was giving him a break.

She filled the glass with water from the tap and opened the medicine cabinet. Pulling out the Pepto Bismol tablets that Joshua's family kept – none of them could stand the liquid form – she popped two of them into her hand.

Kneeling down, Arlene picked up Tobi's hand and turned it palm up. She placed the two tablets in his hand and instructed him to put them in his mouth. When he did so, she placed the glass of water in his hand so he could swallow them. "I have mint tea waiting in the kitchen for you," she said as she stood up to leave. "It won't force your body to accept the amount of junk you put in it, but it should help settle your stomach enough that you can get some sleep."

When Tobi nodded his acknowledgement, Arlene left the bathroom and went back to the kitchen to wait until she could have her turn in the washroom. Hidan was sprawled lazily on the couch, half lying down and half sitting, staring up at the white ceiling. They sat in silence until Tobi finally left the washroom and joined them.

As Arlene left the kitchen table and went down to the washroom, Hidan watched the back of Tobi's head. The masked man sat with his back to the room and lifted his mask upward just enough that he could sip at his tea. Hidan stretched his neck, trying to catch a glimpse of the man's face in the reflection of the dark window, but the glare of the ceiling lights obscured the image.

Hidan rolled off the couch and returned to his bed, lying quietly on his side. Arlene returned shortly and returned to her own bed next to his. She called out a bidding of goodnight to Tobi and closed her eyes. Hidan smirked to himself and pretended to be upset that she ignored him. "What am I, chopped liver? I don't get a goodnight?"

He watched as she barely cracked an eye open to look at him before whispering a "Goodnight, Hidan," which was laced with a sleepy sigh. He could tell from her breathing that she was asleep almost instantly.

_Goodnight, Princess_, he thought to himself. He lifted his head to look over his shoulder at the kitchen table. "Turn the lights off when you're done, will ya?" Tobi nodded and Hidan lay his head on his own pillow and fell into siesta.

Joshua's eyes cracked open to peek at the LED lights on his alarm clock that would reveal the time to be 6:09 in the morning. Some days he wondered why he even had an alarm clock as he usually woke up before it went off. Rolling onto his back, Joshua stretched and groaned before turning the alarm clock off and getting out of bed.

Careful not to step on his sleeping cousin, Joshua grabbed a change of clothes and headed to the bathroom to shower and get ready for the day. After his quick, but satisfying shower, Joshua hovered over the sink, a soft beige towel wrapped around his waist. He pulled his razor out of the holder that also kept many toothbrushes and as he reached for his shaving cream, he noticed an empty glass on the bathroom counter.

He couldn't remember that glass being there the night before, but didn't question it until he noticed the bottle of Pepto Bismol pills that someone had left behind it. He stared at it for a moment before he began spreading the foamy cream on his face. He wondered if Arlene was feeling ill and hoped on many levels that it was nothing serious. He knew from experience that when she got sick, she got really sick and stayed that way for at least two days. That would leave her bedridden and him working alone. The timing was certainly awful.

Dried, dressed and silky smooth, Joshua left the bathroom and headed down the hall where he stopped at the end for a brief moment and watched the three sleeping bodies. Arlene was dead asleep with a bare leg sticking out from under her blanket, which was a good sign. She must be feeling better. He grinned to himself before making his way over to her bed and poking her with his socked toes.

She didn't even stir.

He kicked her lightly.

Nothing…

His smirk grew wide as he slid his foot under her leg, lifted it high in the air then let it drop to the floor. It made a loud thud and she frowned as she sat up, rubbing her eyes. "What the hell man, what's your deal?"

Joshua laughed. "No deal. It's time to get up."

She squinted at the clock. "Already?"

"Yeah," Joshua said then paused. "How do you feel?"

Arlene cast him a groggy glare, "Well I'm really fucking tired and now my heel hurts…"

Joshua laughed. "Good. Saw the Pepto in the bathroom. Thought maybe you were out for the count today. Glad to hear your feeling better."

After a moment of quizzical staring, Arlene remembered what had happened last night. "No," she yawned. "Not me. Tobi was…feeling the effects of sugar binging.

Joshua nodded his head slowly and glanced over at Tobi. As Arlene crawled out of her blankets and stood up, Joshua moved to wake Hidan, but Arlene stopped him. He looked at her. "What?"

"He was up with me and Tobi last night. Let him sleep a bit more."

Joshua nodded and watched his friend head for his room to get some clothes and shower. He couldn't help but smile at her consideration toward the Jashinist and found it very selfless that she was getting up to cook breakfast for him and his comrades, yet letting him get the sleep she needed more than him.

Joshua looked down at Hidan who was shirtless and his blankets thrown down around his waist. He lay on his side, facing Arlene's bed and it suddenly hit him what was going on between these two. How could he have not picked up on this before? Joshua sighed to himself and ran a hand over his face. There was no way this could have a happy ending.

When Arlene returned to the kitchen and began cooking, her friend leaned against the counter and cleared his throat awkwardly. She glanced sideways at him as she stirred the eggs. "Something on your mind, pal?"

Joshua nodded ever so slightly. "Yeah…I want to talk to you about something."

Arlene pulled a bottle of cheese whiz out of the fridge and dumped a spoonful of it into the eggs that she was scrambling. She'd tried this long ago and found it delicious and was now going to introduce it to the Akatuski. "What's up?" she asked.

"Well," Joshua hesitated. "I know what's happening here…with you and Hidan." Arlene merely cocked an eyebrow at him. "You have feelings for him, Arlene…"

The woman scoffed. "No, I don't. I mean, yeah he's cute, I've always thought that, but that's as far as it goes."

Joshua shook his head. "No…Arlene…you have feelings for him. You know I can see it…I always see it before you."

Arlene thought about it for a second and realized that he had _always_ known she felt something toward someone before she ever did. So instead of arguing, she took his words as a truth that she had yet to accept. "And…what if I do?"

Deep grey eyes, the color of rainclouds, stared down at her. "You can't…you know it won't end well. They are probably going to be leaving at some point. I don't know when or how, but I'm sure they will. He'll be gone, you'll be heartbroken and upset and I won't be able to console you."

The conversation was cut short as Pein entered the kitchen. His ringed eyes were black underneath and his hair was matted to his head. Arlene struggled to not giggle at the man. "Mornin'," she greeted.

Pein nodded and grunted before heading to the washroom.

It wasn't long before most of the Akatsuki and Rachel were sitting around the table eating breakfast. Sasori was still in his room and Hidan and Tobi were, somehow, still asleep in the living room. Joshua moved over to the couch and gently shook Tobi. When a light whine signaled that he was awake, Joshua spoke. "Tobi, why don't you go sleep in my room?" he offered. "You need your rest and it's going to start getting noisy out here."

Tobi slowly pulled himself off the couch and wobbled his way down to Joshua's room. Arlene stood next to Hidan and stared down at him, half thinking about what Joshua said. She felt herself begin to blush but quickly fought it off and poked Hidan's bare ribs with her toes. She didn't bother being gentle or caring about it…she simply kicked him in the side.

Hidan's quick reflexes startled her as his eyes opened and his hand clamped around her ankle in a death grip. He looked like he was ready to kill…that is until he looked up and saw whose leg he was holding. He stared at her a moment then let go and grumbled random curse words that didn't even come close to making a sentence.

He scratched his chest as he stood up and glared down at the green eyed woman. Rachel's quiet voice sounded from the kitchen. "That wasn't very nice, Arlene. You shouldn't kick your boyfriend."

Arlene merely stared at Rachel. "He's not my boyfriend," she said quietly, though it sounded more like a plea than a statement.

Groggy, impulsive Hidan suddenly became awake and opportunistic. He looked over at Rachel. "She kicked me, Rachel…I'm sad now."

Rachel looked at Hidan like he was a lost puppy. Then she looked at Arlene and frowned. "That was mean! Say you're sorry and give him a hug!"

Arlene spluttered. "What? No! He's mean, too, ya know!"

"Two wrongs don't make a right! Apologize right now!"

Joshua began to giggle from his place at the table and soon the entire kitchen was snickering. Hidan beamed down at her, looking a little too pleased with himself. What was she going to do? She was currently the laughing stock of the household. Everyone was giggling and staring…but she had to set the example for Rachel.

Sighing to herself, Arlene avoided eye contact with absolutely everyone, stepped forward, wrapped her arms around his torso and hugged Hidan. "I'm sorry," she muttered, clearly displeased.

When she let go, she looked at Rachel. "Happy?"

"Almost," Rachel said. She looked at Hidan. "Do you accept her apology?"

Hidan smirked. "I guess I do."

"Good, then you give her a hug and tell her it's okay."

Hidan's smirk disappeared quicker than a snowball in a hot oven. The snickering got louder. "Can't I just say I forgive her?"

"No, you have to hug her, too."

"Why?"

"Because Mommy said so."

Hidan let out a heavy sigh and reluctantly, hugged Arlene. "Kay, then…I forgive you…" The kitchen roared with laughter, except for Kakuzu who merely stared in awe.

When he straightened up again, he looked over at Rachel to make sure it met her standards. The young child nodded. "See, that wasn't so hard."

Arlene put her hands on her hips. "Yeah, it wasn't that bad. Don't know why you had such a problem hugging me. Almost hurt my feelings." She joked.

Rachel gasped. "Hidan! You hurt her feelings!"

Arlene waved her hands in the air. "No, no, no, no, no. I was kidding, Rachel, I was kidding, I'm fine. Really." Without giving Rachel a chance to protest, Arlene plunked herself at the table and began shoveling food into her face. Hidan followed suit, though for some reason, his table manners were a little more civilized than hers right now.

Once Rachel had left for school, Arlene and Joshua left for work, accompanied by Pein and Konan. Hidan refused to go today due to his lack of sleep the night before, though Arlene also suspected it had more to do with the previous humiliation. She didn't mind though, she didn't want to be around him right now either.

Sasori and Kakuzu sat on the couch, both staring at the television. Hidan was asleep in the armchair, Itachi was reading and Deidara was complaining about what Sasori was watching. It was almost noon, which meant it was almost time for Tobi to be given more Pepto Bismol. He'd been puking in Joshua's bucket every few hours but Arlene left clear instructions that he was only to have crackers and mint tea until noon when he could have more medicine.

Itachi set down his book and picked up the small sheet of paper in which Arlene had scribbled instructions on:

_Tobi's medicine at noon. No sooner! 2 tablets only._

_Keep him hydrated and warm._

_Leftover pizza in the fridge if you get hungry. _

_Place in microwave and press the "1". It will start on its own._

Deciding that he was, in fact, hungry, Itachi pulled the box of pizza from the refrigerator. He peered into the living room and asked if anyone else wanted some. Deidara, of course, was starving, and Kakuzu agreed to eat.

Kakuzu stared at Hidan who was snoring loudly from the chair before getting up and walking over to him. He wrapped his hand around his throat to choke the immortal man, until Hidan came awake with a twitch.

"What the hell are you doing?" Hidan growled.

Kakuzu let go of his throat and spoke in his monotone voice. "Itachi wants to know if you are hungry."

Hidan looked over at Itachi who was staring at him in wait. "Oh…uh…yeah."

Kakuzu moved to the front window and stared out into the daylight. He didn't know where he was but he couldn't say he didn't like it. The view from the window held many houses and lots of grass. It looked busy, but peaceful all at the same time.

"Hidan," Itachi called. "Go give Tobi his medicine. "

Hidan frowned and argued. "Why me? I don't know what medicine it is."

Itachi glanced over his shoulder from where he was standing, staring into the microwave. "I'm busy cooking, I can't go do it. Arlene said it's the one in the medicine cabinet that says on it something about upset stomachs."

"Unh, this show sucks anyway," Deidara complained before getting out of his seat. "Come on, Hidan, I'll help you find it."

Hidan sighed and followed Deidara to the bathroom where he opened the cabinet and began reading every bottle. There were a lot of different medicines in there. "What's it supposed to be called," Hidan yelled down the hallway.

Itachi's voice called back. "I don't know. Just look for something that says stomach on it."

Hidan looked down at the blonde man to his side. "Can you read?"

Deidara glared at Hidan. "Of course I can read!" Deidara poked through all the bottles until he found one with the word 'stomach' on it. He seemed to recognize the word even though it was in a different language than he was used to, but all the words together made no sense to him. So, he merely picked out key words that he thought would be helpful and read them aloud to Hidan. "This one here…stomach…upset…relief."

Hidan shrugged and snapped shut the cabinet. "Sounds right to me," he said. Hidan took the bottle from Deidara's hand, popped two of the tablets into his palm and left to give them to Tobi. Deidara walked back to the kitchen and set the bottle of pills on the table before sitting down to wait for his pizza.

About an hour later Itachi lifted his head from his book as he heard Tobi whine and run into the bathroom. He frowned to himself, wondering why the newest Akatsuki member would go vomit in the bathroom when he was supplied with a bucket.

Itachi looked at the bottle on the table wondering why the medicine hadn't taken effect. He picked it up to inspect it then looked over at Deidara. "Is this what you gave him?"

Deidara looked over at Itachi to see what he was asking about. "He looked at the medicine in his hand and then nodded. "It says stomach on there, un. And something about relieving pain."

Itachi stared at Deidara in disbelief. "Yes…relieving stomach pain due to constipation. Deidara, you gave him a laxative; he's not constipated."

Deidara looked at Itachi, confused. "What's laxative do?"

Hidan started laughing. "It makes you shit!" he roared.

Itachi felt himself begin to internally panic at the situation. What was he going to do? He couldn't let Arlene come home to this, she, along with Pein, would deem him incompetent.

Doing the only thing he could think of, Itachi began to make some mint tea. If it worked to settle an upset stomach…maybe it would work here, too. The Uchiha seriously doubted it, but he had no choice but to try.

Kakuzu stood at the window, watching as a long orange box on wheels moved away from the house and the small girl, whose name he'd learned to be Rachel, ran toward the driveway, her cowboy hat around her neck and bouncing with every stride.

A small part of him smiled at how innocent and carefree she was. She'd yet to experience the pain and disappointment that life had to offer. He went to the back door to greet her as she came in, and unlock it since Itachi seemed to be paranoid about anyone coming in without them knowing.

Rachel hopped over the threshold and smiled up at the stitched up man. "Hiya, Kakuzu! Look what I made in school today!" she said holding up a paper frog.

Kakuzu nodded, and although he was trying to be nice, his voice was thick and dark as always. "Very nice, Rachel. Take your shoes off and come in. But be quiet, Tobi is still sick," he instructed.

Anyone else would fear Kakuzu's towering figure and drawling voice, but Rachel didn't even seem to notice. She kicked her shoes into the corner and skipped into the living room to show her frog to Sasori who took it and made it dance on her head.

When she squealed and giggled, Kakuzu quickly reminded her to be quiet so Tobi could rest. Rachel's face became serious. "I can help him get better! I have doctor stuff!"

Running down into the spare room that was usually kept for when she visited, Rachel threw the door open and completely ignored Hidan who was asleep on one of the beds. She went to the trunk at the end of the bed, flipped up the top and grabbed out her toy stethoscope and reflex hammer. She didn't bother to close the chest again before she left the room.

She ran across the hall and burst into Joshua's room where Tobi was sleeping and shut the door behind her. Itachi tried to follow her in, but she hissed at him to go back to the waiting room until the doctor called him. Then, she pushed him out and locked the door.

Itachi stared at the wood, not sure what to do. Kakuzu cleared his throat from the end of the call. "She'll be fine…"

Beginning to feel the stress of trying to take care of a sick man, Itachi rubbed his temple and receded into his room to relax.

An hour after Rachel's arrival and disappearance into the room, Itachi stood at the end of the hall staring down at Joshua's locked door. She hadn't come out…not even a noise had left that room. Suddenly, the door clicked and a young girl stepped out, her stethoscope around her neck and Tobi's mask in her hands.

Deidara peered around the corner of the wall and Itachi straightened. He watched in silence as the girl entered the bathroom, turned on the water and began to wash the inside of the mask. When she was done, she dried it and entered the room again.

Deidara scowled. "Wait a second…I'm forced to work with the guy and I don't even know what he looks like. A little girl trots in there, thinking she's making him better and gets to see his face? How is that even fair, un?"

Itachi shook his head then became distracted by the sound of crunching in the driveway. He looked out the kitchen window and saw Pein and the others get out of the vehicle. How was he ever going to explain to them that Deidara gave Tobi laxatives under his command and then got locked out of the room by a child?

As Arlene came through the front door, all of Itachi's worries transformed into confusion as Tobi, sporting his orange mask once again, and Rachel came bouncing out of Joshua's room. Tobi ran down the hall and threw his arms around Arlene, knocking her back into Konan.

"Tobi is better!" he cheered.

"I helped!" Rachel laughed waving her plastic reflex hammer.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed. This story is sponsored by YOUR reviews, so don't forget to send one in. ;) I'm open to ideas, suggestions and praise. Bring it on! :P<strong>


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: Neither Drake nor I own any Naruto characters. We own Joshua, and Arlene and future characters owned by us will be noted. Rachel is owned by Loki 7744**

**I know it's been a long...long time. But as you all know, life happens and things get in the way. But here it is, Chapter 16.**

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><p>Droplets fell from his face as though his eyes were the heavens above and they had opened to release a record breaking storm. His lids were hooded and heavy with darkness, his breathing heavy and ragged and his scowl ominous.<p>

Joshua lifted his gaze ever so slightly as he studied his surroundings. No one was looking at anyone else, but still, the tension was nearly unbearable. The only sound was that of heavy panting and the humming of fans that were aimed at the group. This had to be the hottest Friday afternoon he'd ever experienced.

From the armchair, Joshua watched, nearly hypnotized, as Arlene's hair – that was messy from her brushing it out of her face – was blown back into her eyes by the force of the power fan behind her. She sat catty-corner on the couch with her short legs twisted and stretched across Hidan's open lap. Shirtless, as usual, Hidan had one foot propped up on the large Rubbermaid bin that was acting as a replacement coffee table. Both his arms were stretched over the back of the couch and his head tilted back with closed eyes.

Next to him was Deidara, who had a towel full of ice cubes and was holding it against his forehead. Tobi lay sprawled on the floor at his feet while Itachi and Pein sat in their usual places at the kitchen table. Today, however, even those two couldn't bear to read from the pile of encyclopedias in front of them. Instead, they sat completely still, except for occasionally catching a bead of sweat in a tissue. Konan sat at the table as well, in the seat furthest from the living room. Annoyed at the way the electric fans messed with her hair, she fashioned herself a hand fan via origami.

On the love seat, across from the armchair where Joshua sat, was Kakuzu. He was quiet; as silent as his reputation claimed. But his eyes seemed more deadly than usual. It would seem that this heat annoyed him more than his comrade's constant jabber. To Kakuzu's side, Sasori. Sasori of the Red Sand. The puppet. The wooden man who could feel no physical pain or discomfort.

Feeling the stir in the air around him, Sasori shifted to eye Joshua who seemed to be glaring at him. He waited for a moment to see if Joshua would offer an explanation. When he didn't, Sasori's emotionless voice seemed to echo through the silence, "What seems to be the problem?"

The first words spoken in hours caught the attention of everyone. All eyes turned to Sasori, then to Joshua. "You have no idea how lucky you are… we're all here sweating like hogs and can barely breath… and you probably don't even know that it's ridiculously warm. I'm not a jealous person, but you have no idea how much I envy you right now."

Arlene's tired stare shifted in and out of focus. "I wonder," she said thoughtfully, "does your body dry out in the heat like the trees do? I mean… how quickly could you catch on fire right now?"

"No… it doesn't dry out," was Sasori's only response, deciding to ignore the last bit.

"But…why?"

Sasori mentally sighed. "I used a really good polish. One that adds moisture."

"Oh… like my shampoo."

Joshua mentally face-palmed at her abstract thoughts and Hidan turned his head to watch her. Actually, with his current level of lazy, it was more like he flopped it to the side. Neither Hidan nor Arlene spoke another word as they engaged in an unspoken staring contest.

Joshua let out a heavy sigh and leaned his head back. "Can't one of you guys control the weather or something? Pein… why don't you make it rain?"

Pein's answer was simple. "Too hot." He paused for a minute then eyed Joshua. "Why don't you go get us some of that God juice?"

"God juice?" Konan asked, her head tilting, ever so slightly.

"Slush," Joshua replied, knowing exactly what she meant. "It's a cold beverage made from flavor and ice shavings. It's really good. You drink it through a straw."

Before any further responses could be formed, a young brown haired girl trotted into the house, slamming the door behind her. Her cowgirl boots clicked across the linoleum floor as she hummed her way into the kitchen. She paused and dropped her bag. "Hoooo-ey, mama, it is hot in here, y'all."

A chorus of groans and mumbles offered her greetings and agreement. Arlene finally broke her eyes away from Hidan's hypnotic purple peepers. "Hey, Rach. How was school?"

"Boring," she said, then cocked an eyebrow. "Why are you all sitting here? It's so much cooler outside."

"Is it, now," Itachi drolled, thoughtfully.

"Yup. The wind makes it nicer."

As if everyone had the same idea at the same time, ten pairs of eyes focused on the windows. Deidara stood up and dropped his towel, which was now soaked and contained no ice. "I'm going out there, then," he said simply and shuffled out of the house.

"We should all go outside and play!" Rachel exclaimed.

"Yes," Arlene agreed. "Maybe we should turn on the hose and make a sprinkler."

"Ooooooor," Rachel said, dragging out the word as though she'd been waiting for a segway. "We could just go swimming?"

"Swimming?" Hidan said. "Where?"

The little cowgirl stared at him as if that was the dumbest question she'd ever heard. "At the beach… d'uh."

Hidan's mouth flopped, looking for a response that was child appropriate. Finding none, he grunted and averted his eyes.

Pein stood. "I agree with the child. We shall go to the beach."

Both Joshua and Arlene stared at Pein, not sure if such a thing was out of character for the Akatsuki leader or not. By the way Itachi shifted, it seemed as though this was a bit of an unusual request. Then again… intense heat makes people do crazy things.

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><p>It took almost an hour to get everyone situated with beach attire. Rachel sat in the living room, balancing on a volleyball as she waited. She wore her one piece swimsuit that was adorned with a layer of frill around the waist to make her look like a ballerina. Her mom had bought this for her last year and she absolutely hated it. But it was the only swimsuit she had at her cousin's.<p>

Hidan had returned to his place on the couch wearing a pair of cargo shorts that were found in the closet in Josh's parents' room. In fact, most of the Akatsuki's clothing was found in there. They seemed to have clothing from years and years back. Pein and Itachi were both wearing black board shorts, though Pein wore a blue tank top while Itachi sported a casual, green and white button down shirt that he decided to leave open. Kakuzu was in cut off sweatpants and his own black tank top that he wore under his cloak – that somehow managed to conceal the lumps on his back rather well – while Tobi wore jean shorts and an oversized yellow t-shirt. He looked…nothing like an all-powerful maniac. Josh, being allergic to the sun, wore his own t-shirt and swim trunks and was smothered from head to toe in the strongest sunscreen he could find. As much as he hated the sun, he adored swimming.

After what seemed like forever, Konan and Arlene both emerged from their rooms. Arlene in her favorite purple board shorts and tie-dye camisole type top – she never was a fan of matching – and Konan… well Konan had found and old blue bikini that belonged to Joshua's mother in her younger days. Though she filled it out quite well, she found herself rather uncomfortable being so exposed so she wore a large white t-shirt , that went down to her knees, over it.

Sasori, being wooden and not bothered by the heat, decided it was unnecessary for him to go, and Deidara, missing his former partner, chose to stay with him.

As Arlene reached for the car keys, she couldn't help but notice the hungry glint in Pein's eyes as he watched Konan slip on some sandals. Without understanding why, Arlene peered at Hidan out of the corner of her eyes. He wasn't looking at anyone, in fact, his eyes were closed again, but there was the slightest hint of redness in his cheeks. Shrugging it off as heat, Arlene pulled a lightweight long sleeved shirt over herself and looked around the room.

After making sure everyone was ready, Arlene led the group out to her car, where she paused as she realized she had more passengers than seatbelts. She ran the back of her hand over her eyebrow. "Well… this is going to be fun. There is nine of us and five seats. Some of you are going to have to either sit in each other's laps or climb into the back hatch." She sighed then mumbled "Not that that's legal…"

Josh stepped ahead and opened the back door to the car. "Rachel isn't sitting in the back hatch. She's wearing a seatbelt." He said matter-of-factly as Rachel let out a whine.

As Arlene opened the driver side door and started to climb in, a hand grabbed her by the arm. "Hold on, now," came the sultry voice. "Why do _you_ get to sit in a seat?"

Arlene turned and gave Hidan a droll stare. "Because I'm driving, genius."

Hidan glared at her for a minute, until he saw something flicker in her eyes. It was then that he realized that he was gripping her arm rather tightly and probably hurting her. This heat was a problem. He'd kept a good check on his temper since he got here, but could feel himself starting to slip and the urge to cause – or feel – pain was starting to bubble deep in his gut. He let go quickly, but made sure to retract his arm slowly, not wanting to let anyone know that he felt even the slightest regret.

"Whatever," the Jashinist grumbled as he turned and climbed into the back hatch. At least he'd seen how to open it before and didn't feel like a complete dumbass.

As Josh finished buckling Rachel into the middle seatbelt in the back row, he glanced around at the rest of the group, waiting to see who would be sitting where.

"Come on," Rachel huffed from the car, "we're wasting beach time."

Taking charge, Pein ushered Konan and Joshua into the remaining back rows and sat himself in the front next to Arlene, leaving the other three to take their places in the hatch with the towels. Once the car was started and aimed in the direction of the tiny local beach – which was really just a sandy area off the lake – Arlene blasted the air conditioning. As the air circulated the vehicle, deep breaths and sighs of relief chorused.

"Arlene," Rachel sang from the back of the car.

"Rachel," she sang back at her, her mood starting to pick up in the coolness.

"Radio, please."

Without hesitation, Arlene flipped on the radio to the local station that played modern, pumping music – Rachel's favorite station as she just didn't get rock quite yet.

Joshua almost groaned when he heard the words _"I threw a wish in the well, don't ask me I'll never tell."_ This song was tired by now. He swore they played it every hour on the hour. But nonetheless, Rachel bounced in her seat and sang along.

Today, however, to his surprise, Arlene joined in. Not that he was surprised that she would sing with Rachel, because she always did. He was more or less surprised that, not only was she singing in front of 'strangers', she was belting out the lyrics whole heartedly.

"Yaaaaayyy!" Tobi sounded from the back as he clapped along with the music, not knowing the words.

Arlene glanced in the rearview mirror to grin at Tobi but found herself flushing when she noticed that Hidan was staring at her with a raised eyebrow. Refusing to show any discomfort or embarrassment, she continued to sing every song with Rachel as they drove down the road, making various turns.

The beach wasn't that far, still considered to be 'in town', but it took almost half an hour to get there. Once they arrived at the destination, everyone more or less spilled out of the automobile. Rachel dropped the volleyball and made a bee line for the water, Tobi hot on her trail. Konan and Arlene gathered up the towels from the back and carried them over to the picnic table that Joshua designated as theirs.

Joshua swiped at his nose, to brush off a bead of sweat slowly forming by his nostril. Rachel was right. It was much cooler out here… but still searing. He reapplied his sunscreen and then offered the bottle to Arlene as she pulled off the tee, reading for a swim.

Arlene took the bottle but offered it to the members of the Akatsuki first, who applied it to themselves in turn. Konan stared at the bottle then looked down at her large top, the only thing separating her body from the view of others. It was one thing for Pein to see her figure, but there were other Akatsuki here and strangers as well… many strangers.

Understanding the discomfort, Arlene stepped forward and spoke quietly to her. "You don't _have_ to take the top off. You can leave it on over top, no one will care."

Konan inwardly sighed in relief, glad to hear that this society won't think it weird. She quickly covered her arms and legs and followed Pein to the lake.

And then there were two. Arlene leaned her rear against the edge of the table and waited patiently for Hidan to smear the cream all over his pale torso, trying desperately to look everywhere but at him. Damn Joshua. Ever since he opened his mouth about any possible feelings, she's noticed her attraction more and more. Hidan wasn't chiseled, but he was obviously well built and, as Arlene became recently aware of, rather easy on the eyes.

Noticing her discomfort, Hidan smirked. He wasn't sure why, but he would never turn down an opportunity to humiliate this girl. When she was embarrassed or angry, there was a certain fire in her eyes that seemed to be far too restrained. He cleared his throat, forcing her attention to him.

He held out the bottle and raised a cocky eyebrow. "I can't reach my back," he said simply.

Arlene looked up at him, almost horrified at what he was implying. She had been working at not staring at him…now he was asking her to touch him? Unaware that this wasn't her string of bad luck, but rather Hidan being…well…Hidan, she pursed her lips. "Everyone else managed fine on their own."

"No they didn't," he argued, his voice low. "Konan did Pein's back and Itachi just didn't do it. Everyone else was covered."

Sighing, Arlene held out her hand and allowed Hidan to squirt the sunscreen in to her palm. He turned around and offered her his bare back.

Hidan held back a shiver as the cold cream made contact with his skin, and suppressed goosebumps at the feel of her small hand spreading it over his shoulders and spine; a reaction that surprised him.

Arlene bit into her tongue in both awkwardness and annoyance as his muscles tensed and relaxed under her fingers. She did her best to protect all of his back, but his shorts sat low on his hips and she struggled to not touch his lower back too much.

When she finished, Hidan turned back to her, grinning rather evilly, but she wasn't paying attention. She was busy tying her medium hair up as best as she could, lifting it off her neck. He noticed a faint scar peeking out from under the back of her shirt as she turned sideways to pick up her hair tie off the table. It rose out barely a centimeter from around her shoulder blade.

Deciding to ignore it, Hidan eyed the small amount of exposed back between her shoulders. It was already turning red in the sun. Silently, he squeezed the bottle, still in his hand, and then reached out with his ointment covered fingers and touched her spine.

Arlene jumped and whirled around, eyes wide. "What are you doing?"

Hidan growled at her, "Returning the fucking favor, now turn around."

Arlene was taken aback. He had a foul mouth, but he never swore directly at her before. Slowly, she turned and let him finish spreading the balm over the small bit of her back that was exposed. When he was done, he tossed the near empty bottle on the table and started to walk away.

"Thank you," Arlene called after him quietly. Hidan heard her but didn't respond. He was trying to figure out why he cussed at her the way he did, but as soon as his feet hit the cool river, his thoughts drifted away.

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><p>Joshua played in the water with Rachel, splashing her and letting her splash him back. He'd lift her over his head and drop her back into the water. As he did so, he kept his eye on Arlene and Hidan. They sure were taking a while to join everyone in the water. He rolled his eyes as she spread sunscreen on him and then again as he did the same to her. Did she not heed his warning at all? What was she thinking?<p>

When Hidan finally started making his way to them, Arlene shortly after, he turned his attention to the rest of the Akatsuki. Most of them were simply sitting in the water relaxing and watching the people around them. Tobi, on the other hand, was in and under and around and diving and spinning. He watched when Tobi disappeared under the water and then popped up in front of him and blinked as water poured out from under the mask. How could he even tell where he was going under there if his face was covered? Then again, it wasn't the clearest water and you couldn't really see much anyway.

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><p>Hidan dipped himself in the water and bobbed back up, smoothing his hair back from his face. He watched as Arlene chuckled at Rachel while Joshua picked her up and threw her into the water, gently. An idea forming his head, he inched his way closer to Arlene's back. He wasn't sure if she would have fun or get angry, but he couldn't stop himself. He reached out under the water and clamped his large hands onto her waist, just above her full hips.<p>

When she yelped in surprise, he lifted her up. The lightness of the water made her seem almost weightless as he thrust her away from him. She flew a foot and a half away from him and splashed into the water, her arms flailing.

Joshua stared in silence, feeling his heart race. He resisted the urge to lash out Hidan in an attempt to protect his friend…at least he would wait to find out that she was alright. She broke through the surface of the water and stared daggers into Hidan's eyes.

He shrugged. "The kid was having fun, I thought you would, too."

Josh waited for her reply before he chose his course of action. By the look on her face, he expected her to slap him. But she didn't. No. Instead, she leaned her head back and laughed, Rachel and Tobi joining in and attacking her with splashes.

"Well, well," sounded a familiar, yet despised voice from the edge of the water. "If it isn't Dracula and his posse. Are these people really all cosplaying? I mean…I'll hand it to ya, they do a good job, but it's just lame."

Joshua growled in his throat. A good outing ruined just like that. Arlene turned and moved closer so she was standing between Hidan and Joshua. Pein and Itachi watched the encounter silently. Tobi was still playing with Rachel and Konan and Kakuzu had retreated from the water and were relaxing at the picnic table.

Sighing, the brunette pushed her wet bangs out of her face. "What do you want, Derek?"

Derek, the man that had fanboyed all over Pein last week stood on the sand, eyeing Joshua, a skinny woman and five other men behind him. Three were well built and two were tall and scrawny, but looked just as mean. He didn't break his condescending glare. "Payback," he said simply.

"Payback?" Arlene questioned. "For what?"

Derek snapped at her, "Stay out of this, Toots, it doesn't concern you,"

Beside her, Hidan tensed noticeably. This guy must have been the 'tool' that she and Joshua had discussed before. Before Hidan could open his mouth and toss a line of foulness at the man, Pein stepped out of the water.

"If revenge is what you seek, then your issue is with me and not Joshua."

Derek raked Pein with a sour sneer. "Relax, bub. I'm not about to attack someone in public. At least not with so many witness."

"Then what is it you want," Joshua repeated Arlene's question.

"I'm better than you, and we both know it. I figure public humiliation oughtta prove that. So how about a game of volleyball?" He said. His face was plastered in snide and his words reeked of a confidence that almost gave Joshua chills. Not that he cared if he won or lost a game.

Before Joshua could decline and go about his peaceful afternoon, Hidan left the water and stood beside Pein, muscles tense. "Challenge accepted!"

"Hidan!" Pein snapped, frustrated by his comrades pushiness.

Derek snorted. "You guys even call each other by those names? Weirdos. Alright, challenge on! Six on six, let's go."

Joshua groaned and slinked his way out of the water, knowing that they couldn't turn down the challenge now that Hidan opened his big mouth. Arlene followed and Tobi, having had Itachi make him aware of the situation, followed the aforementioned Uchiha.

While Derek and his goons situated themselves and got ready, Arlene and Joshua leaned over the picnic table. Arlene sighed. "Hidan, why'd you have to go and jump right into his game?"

Hidan scoffed. "Sorry, princess, but I don't like the way that bum talks and I'm gonna cause him pain."

Kakuzu and Konan got a quick debriefing of the proposed challenge…and why it happened, then Arlene and Joshua filled everyone in on the rules. "We need six people," Joshua spoke. "Hidan, you accepted the damn challenge so you're definitely in. We need four more. Arlene?"

"Of course, bro," she said, her attitude changing. "Always got your back."

Joshua smiled, but his head went into an _"Oh joy,"_ stage as he felt her instantly become competitive. She was small. She was clumsy. But as much as she disliked Derek, she loved a challenge.

"I, too, shall join you," Pein said, taking responsibility for his previous actions and Hidan's jump-the-gun attitude.

"Tobi wants to play!" he shouted.

Joshua hesitated. He looked to Itachi hoping for some reprieve, but the Uchiha was busy helping Rachel build a sandcastle. How quickly he lost interest in this. "Alright, Tobi."

"Woo!"

"So we need one more," Arlene said, rolling the volleyball around the table. "Konan?" she asked.

Konan shook her head lightly, tugging at her wet shirt that was clinging to her skin. Arlene almost couldn't believe how shy she was, but then again, she was used to being covered in a cloak.

Hidan piped up, his voice loud. "Kakuzu, let's go! We'll kick these guys' asses!

Kakuzu's answer was short and simple. "No."

"Why not?!" Hidan all but screamed.

"Because it's a waste of time."

Arlene kneeled on the bench next to Kakuzu. "Come on big guy," she pleaded. "You're all that's left… please?"

"No."

As if on cue, the skinny woman from Derek's group appeared next to them, her bikini all too revealing. She put her hand on her hip and snapped her gum. When everyone looked at her questioningly, she glared at Arlene. "Derek wants to put some money on the line. $100 to the captain of the winning team." She left before the offer could be declined or accepted.

Kakuzu lifted his head and Arlene knew she had him. "Kakuzu…you can keep the winnings."

He shifted. "Over sixty percent of your team has never played this sport before. Your chances of winning are low."

"What the shit, man," Hidan snorted. "Do you have no confidence in your abilities?"

Kakuzu started to turn away. Arlene hung her head. "Fine… if we win you keep the money. If we lose, I'll give you the same amount of my _own_ money."

"Arlene," Joshua interjected. "Never mind that. We can just walk away from this. We'll tell them we don't have enough people and walk away."

"Fuck that," Arlene blurted, causing Joshua to straighten. He knew exactly what was coming. "I'm sick of him trying to walk all over you. We have the opportunity to drag him down a few pegs, I'm not going to tuck tail and run. I'm going to pound his ass into the sand!" she said, slamming her fist into the table for emphasis, causing a light sparkle to flitter across Hidan's eyes. This was the fire he was looking for. "The offer stands, Kakuzu."

It was silent for a few moments. "Come on, ass-face!" Derek called.

Hidan crinkled his nose. "That was sad."

Kakuzu stood. "If I don't see that money, you'll be sorry," he said and started over to where the net was. Arlene hopped off the bench and fist pumped.

* * *

><p>Pitted against Derek and the five other men – the female sat on the side – the game started slow. Arlene and Joshua did most of the work while the rest of the team took a few moments to absorb the basic game play and join in when ready. Except for Tobi, that is. He jumped in from the start and was bouncing and tumbling everywhere. His mask didn't slow him down one bit.<p>

The ball flew over the net, heading for the sand. Joshua dove, arms stretched out and let the ball bounce up, hoping someone would react. As Tobi moved for it, Arlene shouted "Pop it!" Having heard that from the other team and witnessing the reactions, Tobi knew exactly what he meant and gave the ball a light pop to let it go straight up. As the ball rose in the air and Tobi stepped back, Arlene rushed in and threw herself up after it. She drew her arm back and then threw it forward as the ball dropped back down and spiked it. The ball drove over the net, Derek barely dodging it before it hit his head, and hit the ground hard right in front of the boundary line.

Derek glared at her. "You were trying to hit me! You're gonna get it you slimy little wench!"

"Suck it," she retorted simply.

Hidan stood to her right. He tensed at Derek's words and felt himself begin to burn on the inside. He didn't like this. He didn't like the one time he swore at her and he certainly didn't like that this fool thought he was going to get away with talking to her like that.

"Calm yourself," Kakuzu said smoothly as he moved left and Hidan moved back to take his previous space. Hidan was getting fired up. He didn't know why his teammate felt the need to defend this woman, but he knew Hidan was about to lose his cool.

Arlene shifted her place and stood in front of Hidan. It was his serve. From the back row of the opposing team, Derek glared at Arlene, and Hidan at Derek, imagining all the pain he'd cause him if his leader would allow it.

Joshua watched as Arlene bent over, bracing her hands on her knees, waiting for Hidan to serve. He hated that Derek would say things like that to Arlene, but she didn't care in the least, because whatever he dealt out, she could come back with worse; if she felt like it. But Hidan was mad and it showed. Tobi was oblivious and having a blast. Pein was stoic as always.

He didn't say anything overly loud, but Derek clearly mouthed the words "Dirty bitch," in an attempt to get Arlene riled up. It wasn't working. Not on her. For the silver haired man standing behind her, it was a different story.

All at once Hidan threw the ball in the air, slammed it across the net and nailed Derek in the gut, knocking him off his feet. Derek's team went wild with rage and Arlene dropped to her knees in laughter. A small sense of accomplishment pulled Hidan's angry scowl into a smirk.

"Foul!" called one of the scrawny guys from beside where Derek was catching his breath.

"Bullshit!" Arlene shouted, sobering and standing. "It was in the boundaries and at a perfect height for him to return the serve! Not our fault he can't play the game!"

From there, everything took off and went…horribly.

Determined to get their revenge, Team Derek pushed with everything they had. But it just wasn't enough. Joshua and Arlene were diving and spiking, giving everything they had. Tobi was diving and rolling and setting up all the hits. Joshua tipped the ball over the net and watched as two muscular men ran for it. One popped it up while the other spiked it and it flew straight for Pein who, without any expression raised his hands to stop it.

It wouldn't have been noticeable from Derek's side of the net, but standing to his left, Joshua could see that Pein didn't even touch the ball when he sent it right back to them. He'd used his jutsu, albeit in a much more controlled manner than before. Joshua swallowed… if they started using jutsu's and getting reckless, everything was going to go badly.

Pein's hit was intercepted and sent toward the back corner where Arlene was now standing. Joshua watched as it went over Tobi's head and twisted to watch it. It was too high for Arlene to stop it, but it wasn't going to land out of boundary.

Big deal. One point to them while his team was four points ahead. But then… _"No…"_ was Joshua's only thought as he watched a dark arm slide into view. It was like he was watching in slow motion. Kakuzu's arm detached from his body and flew over Hidan's head and Arlene's to slap the ball back to the other side of the net, where it landed midcourt.

No one moved. No one breathed. Eleven pairs of eyes started at the heavily tanned man. "Fuck," Arlene squeaked a second before the woman sitting on the sidelines of Derek's team shrieked. The six men began yelling obscenities and scrambling away in terror. The rest of the occupants of the beach began to swarm over to see what was going on, but luckily, Kakuzu had returned his arm to where it should be.

"Arlene!" Joshua shouted as he ran for Rachel.

"Gotcha!" She yelled back and grabbed Hidan's wrist, pushing him toward the car. The evacuation was quick and swift as Itachi met Joshua half way with Rachel and they all scrambled into the car. Arlene started the engine as the last door closed and peeled out of the parking lot before anyone had time to buckle their seatbelts.

Joshua held Rachel in his lap in the back seat and held his hands over her ears as Arlene let out string after string of cursing, enough to even cause Hidan to stare in awe. Pein sat in the back hatch, angry and lecturing Kakuzu who remained silent and was obviously annoyed by the commotion.

* * *

><p>Back at the house, Kakuzu sat in the bedroom counting the money that Arlene had reluctantly given him. Pein and Konan were locked away, discussing the course of action they should take, if any. Perhaps the witnesses would just convince themselves that it was a trick of light. Yeah, right.<p>

As afternoon faded into evening, Arlene lay curled into a ball on the couch while Hidan sat at the opposite end mumbling about Derek and his 'fool head'.

Joshua straightened from his kitchen chair as a set of headlights in the driveway caught his attention. He moved to the window and instantly recognized his aunt's car. She wasn't supposed to be back until Sunday. "Guys," he announced. "It's Marissa."

"Hurry and hide, Akasy!" Rachel yipped from the living room floor. Itachi, Sasori and Deidara were already moving, but Tobi jumped up and flew past her, leaving their card game on the floor.

Joshua greeted Marissa at the door with a smile, but when he caught sight of the redness of her eyes, it faded. Had she been crying? "You're back early," he stated and she merely nodded.

She followed him into the living room where she greeted her daughter with a hug and a kiss.

"You're back early, mom!" Rachel exclaimed.

"Yes, I am. Did you have fun?"

"Loads of fun!" she said, oblivious to the puffiness of her mother's face. "We went swimming!"

"That sounds lovely, dear. Why don't you get your bag and we'll go have some ice cream?"

As Rachel whooped and ran down to Joshua's room to gather her things, Marissa stood. Arlene sat up in her place and watched her, expectantly. Feeling her discomfort, Hidan sat forward and watched the three, nodding to Marissa when she looked over at him.

Marissa cast a sad glance to Arlene then took her nephew's hands into her own. "Honey, we need to talk. And I don't know if you want other people around for this."

Joshua's heart skipped a beat. Talk? About what? Had he done something wrong? Did she find out about the amount of people staying in his parents' home while they were away? He glanced over at Arlene who started to stand up. "No," he said. "It's fine. What's wrong?" he asked his aunt.

Marissa took a deep breath. "It's your parents, sweety."

Forget skipping a beat, his heart stopped. "Did they get their results from the hospital?"

Marissa shook her head, tears welling in her eyes. "They were going for the follow-up," she said, her voice catching. "There was an accident."

Joshua stopped breathing. Arlene stood. Hidan watched. "Are they okay? How am I going to get down there?!" he asked, panicking, suddenly desperate to be with his parents.

Marissa took a calming breath, obviously trying to get it all out but keep herself together before Rachel came back in the room. But tears escaped her eyes and she let out a light sob. "I'm sorry, Joshy… they didn't make it…"


End file.
